


SNAPEMAS 2020

by DeepPerplexity



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Snapedom - Fandom
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Anxiety, Broken Friendships, Bullying, Christmas, Confinement, Death, Fluff, HEA, Hate, Hogwarts, Hope, Ice Skating, Love, Other, PTSD, Panic Attack, Past hurt, Retaliation, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Sexual/Sensual Content, Snapemas, Snapemas2020, Snow, Spinner's End, XReader, christmas gifts, joy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:13:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 50,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28365219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeepPerplexity/pseuds/DeepPerplexity
Summary: SNAPEMAS 2020 is a prompt challenge I created for Snapedom creators for Christmas 2020.Every day up until 24:th of December there was a prompt to create from. So, this "book" is very diverse and mixed - everything from xReader fics to little snippets of friendship or hardship. Keep reading and you'll find out! ^^(This is transferred in hindsight from Tumblr.)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7
Collections: Snape and Reader Collection





	1. Promptlist

##  **🎄 SNAPEMAS - a challenge for Snapedom creators! 🎄**

Feel free to join all or pick and choose what challenges you wish to do! :D It’s all in good fun! I will do a few of them or all, I don’t know - guess time will tell! Like I said, all in good fun!

We are coming up on December and Christmas, a Holiday loved by many. But, the question is what Christmasy things are our beloved professor Snape up to? How does he feel about the holiday? What does he do and with whom? O.O

Well, all of that is up to each and every one of you to decide! For this challenge, I give something for each day up until Christmas eve to be included in the story or the subject of the whole thing - interpret it as you wish. Feel free to draw if you want that instead of writing - all creative things are welcome! :D Also, you can write it as whatever date you want in the story - if you want the 6th challenge (6th of December IRL) to be Christmas Eve then write it like that :D Every day can be Christmas Eve or Christmas Day if you wish!

Use the tag **snapemas2020** so everyone can find your work for this years challenge! :D I really want to read/see all of the stories/imagines/drawings/things you come up with! _Lets spread some Snapelove all around!_

**On to the challenge list!  
_*drumroll*_**

****

##  **💚 SNAPEMAS** 💚

 **1.** Mistletoe  
**2.** Christmas Card  
**3.** Smiles  
**4.** Snow  
**5.** Memories  
**6.** Christmas Food  
**7.** Ice Skating  
**8.** Snowballs  
**9.** Fever  
**10.** Slippery Slope  
**11.** Lanterns  
**12.** Gingerbread House  
**13.** Snowed In  
**14.** Family  
**15.** Snowmen  
**16.** Crackling Fire  
**17.** Loneliness  
**18.** Christmas Market  
**19.** Deck the Great Hall  
**20.** Joyous Chorus  
**21.** Christmas Present  
**22.** Trembling  
**23.** Hope  
**24.** Christmas Party

Good luck everyone and I hope December will be good for you!  
We are finally reaching the end of 2020! What a- strange year it has been…

💚 _Lots of love, and jolly holiday wishes_ 💚 

## DON’T FORGET TO TAG WITH **snapemas2020**

_(posted 2020-11-28)_


	2. Mistletoe [1]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The first day of SNAPEMAS! I’m so excited! I hope you will enjoy this and join me for SNAPEMAS with your creations!
> 
> Setting: Hogwarts
> 
> Pairing: Snape x Teacher!Reader
> 
> ABBR.: │(y/l/n) - Your Last Name │

December had arrived and you were, like many, overjoyed at the nearing holiday. Christmas was closing in, your favourite holiday and this year you’d spend it at Hogwarts just as you had in your youth. It was all so exciting; you could barely contain yourself as the day swiftly passed.

Hogwarts was slowly transforming into a winter-wonder-castle. It was absolutely wonderful to behold. Hagrid lumbering trees into the Great Hall, Flitwick and McGonagall hanging up garlands and decorations of all kinds. You yourself forming warm ice over pillars to make them glisten and sparkle. You did have a weakness for sparkling things; you had to admit that.

As dinner started you took your seat next to McGonagall.  
“Isn’t it wonderful?” you chimed excitedly with happy eyes and a giddy smile.  
“Oh, I do agree, Ms/Mr (y/l/n).” McGonagall seemed as happy as you about the nearing holiday.  
“I can’t wait to decorate my own space,” you said as food appeared, “I have so many ideas!” you squealed as you picked up your utensils and was just about to tell McGonagall of your plans when a rumbling voice cut through the air.

“Do not forget, Ms/Mr (y/l/n), that it needs to be cleaned up after as well.” You would have known that voice anywhere. That humming growl of a sneering man. Professor Snape, the dark brooding man with the grim expression and the deep onyx eyes that absolutely mesmerized you each and every time you peered into them.  
“Oh, pish-posh,” you said without letting his somewhat deflating comment get to you, “that’s a problem for January, professor, not December,” you continued with a wide smile; as if you were trying to smile enough for the both of you. Why? You had no clue, but you wanted to see the man smile more.

Professor Snape simply huffed and gave a slight sneer before he headed off towards his seat on the other side of McGonagall. You shrugged and stabbed the food on your plate as you began to devour the meal while McGonagall talked about essays and whatnot. Your mind were more on the garlands, the glitter, the trees and Christmas stars you were planning to decorate with after dinner. After all, the dungeons could use some colour and warmth. Even if it were only your own quarters. _Perhaps I’ll decorate the hallway too, it could use some jolly cheer…_

The rest of the dinner you ate and chatted with McGonagall as you sneaked a peek at Snape from time to time. he looked as stoic as ever. But he seemed to be listening in on the conversation as he shook his head from time to time or the corners of his lips tugged upwards a tad.

Christmas carols played on the radio, you hummed and danced around as you decorated your living quarters with swift flicks of your wand. The music grew ever louder as you kept raising the volume as you got more and more into the giddy mood.  
“And up you go,” you sang out as you raised the fifth garland with glitter and silver balls tied to it with your wand.  
“Damdi-do, damdi-da, la, la, laa, la-la-laa” you sang to yourself as a muggle carol spewed loudly from the little radio and you waltz around the area.  
“And pop, there you go, and pop, pop, pop,” you said in a jolly voice as you hung som bells in the ceiling.

A loud banging was suddenly heard from the door. You knitted your brows, _what in the world-_ you thought as you walked over with rushed steps as the banging grew ever louder. Harsher. It appeared whoever was at the other side was trying, with all their might, to bang down the whole damn door apparently.

You opened it with a rushed tug and was met with a furious Professor Snape on the other side.  
“Keep that _infernal_ noise down!” he growled with a sneer as he leaned towards you in his towering way. You simply tilted your head.  
“It’s Christmas music, Snape,” you stated flatly, unmoved by his anger as the man never did anyone any actual harm. Despite what everyone else seemed to think of him.  
“I know what it is,” he snarled before he stalked in with long strides. His boot-clad feet pounded the stone floor.

He turned the radio down until barely any sound came from it and you knitted your brows, a bit agitated. You walked over to him and simply turned up the volume again.  
“My quarters, my choice,” you simply stated as you crossed your arms over your chest. Snape raised an eyebrow and then sneered yet again as he turned the radio down once more.  
“My house, my rules,” he drawled. You huffed and raised the volume again.  
“Holiday spirit, holiday music,” you stated as you turned the volume even higher.

Snape huffed and you stared at him, challenged him yet again as none other appeared to do. His eyes endlessly deep and your chest tightened as thoughts of lonely Christmases and jolly-free holidays crossed your mind. He seemed burdened and lonely where he stood amidst all of your decorations - that frankly covered every surface in your space.

He lowered the volume again, “you are distracting the students.” You gave the man a huff and rolled your eyes.  
“You’re being ridiculous! I am not distracting anybody,” you said and raised the volume once more, “Some people enjoy the holidays you know, just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean you get to ruin it for anybody else!” Your voice rose and rose as you spewed out the words toward the grim man who seemed to grow even angrier at you. He turned the radio off completely and then stalked out of the room.

You gaped at the door he had slammed shut before you huffed loudly, “the gal of that man!” You started the radio and raised the volume all the way up before you added an amplification spell and the music roared out of the little speaker. _I’ll teach you not to mess with my holiday spirit!_ A content smile spread across your lips as you quickly went to the door and pulled it open so the music spewed out in the hallway. A few doors down was Severus office and his door opened a mere second later as you stood in the hallways with a satisfied smirk. _I’m not giving in that easily,_ you thought to yourself as he stormed towards you with a look of disdain and contempt all over that beautiful face of his.

You took precisely two steps toward him, a plan formed in your mind in that very moment. A plan that ought to teach him a lesson but also gave you the chance to finally do what you had dreamed of for months.  
“ _Will you turn that infernal racket down?!_ ” he hollered in such a thunderous voice you actually trembled a bit. He was an intimidating man but you were more stubborn than a kniffler holding on to gold.

You waited, patiently as he took the last steps that were needed for him to meet you in the hallway.  
“You are impossible, will you turn that _awful sound_ down (y/l/n)?!” he shouted over the loud music. You stood still, you needed him to take one more step. Just one more step and the little joke you had planned for students would give you your chance.  
“(y/l/n)?! Turn it-” There, he took that last step and you smiled with wicked glee. Despite your heart hammering and the twisting your stomach was doing. 

Before he could react, before you got cold feet, you raised up on your toes, grabbed the collar of his cloak and pressed your lips to his in a flurry of rushed movements. You kissed him harshly, deeply, despite him not answering back you pushed against him for nearly five seconds. You felt lightheaded, you couldn’t hear the music any longer and his lips against yours were heavenly soft.

He was stiff as a rock, rigid as a mountain. As you leaned back and gave him soft smile, your cheeks blushed but you held his eyes locked in yours for a second before you glanced up with a little grin.  
“Mistletoe,” you said softly as the amplification spell wore off and the volume lowered enough for it to not be blasted through the hallway any longer. He said nothing. He just gaped at you. His eyes bewildered, his body as frozen as an icicle. _Well, at least he shut up._ The thought made you both happy and sad as you had desperately hoped he would kiss you back.

But, perhaps you had misread him. The little smiles, the long looks, the nightly patrols - all the talking of everything from potions to favourite seasons - and all the late nights working together in his office. Perhaps, it meant nothing to him. Even though it meant the world to you as you had in fact fallen deeply in love with the dark man.

You kept the smile on your face as you let go of his collar and made to turn around.  
“I’ll keep the music down,” you said and your voice was a tad sad. Both for his non-response and the fact that you couldn’t quite enjoy the holiday - your favourite holiday - in the way you wished.

In an instance is hand grabbed your wrist, he swung you around and back towards him. You had no time to even gasp before his hands cradled your face and his lips smashed desperately against your own. You melted and your response was instant. You kissed, deeply. His hands trembled as your knees felt weak.

When he eventually leaned back and broke the contact you were breathing hard. He chuckled and a tight smile lingered on his lips. Your chest hammered as his thumb stroked once, twice, across your jawline.  
“Mistletoe,” he said in that soft, almost purring, voice of thunder and you could have sworn his eyes twinkled as a decorated Christmas tree for you. Perhaps this Christmas would be nothing like you had imagined, but a thousand times better. You melted into his embrace as if it was the most natural thing in the world to do as he kissed you once more under the glimmering mistletoe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT IS FINALLY HERE!  
> SNAPEMAS TIME!
> 
> This is the first prompt and I had so much fun writing this - I really hope you enjoyed this one and I am hoping I’ll be able to do all of the prompts I came up with for this Snapemas - hoping!


	3. Christmas Card [2]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 2. Christmas Card
> 
> A/N: Day 2 of SNAPEMAS and I am still so darn excited for this! Hoping lots of you lovelies will join! :D
> 
> Setting: Hogwarts, Christmas morning
> 
> Characters: Young Snape & McGonagall

All around him kids were reading Christmas cards and opening presents. He had nothing to open, and nothing to read this Christmas morning his second year at Hogwarts. Same as last year. Not that he was surprised. He had never had a Christmas gift, or a card for as long as he could remember. No, Christmas was a sordid affair for him; a bitter time. 

Severus sneaked away from the common room and the other Slytherins that were chatting about how expensive the stuff they got was. How many presents their families had sent. How many relatives that had sent Christmas cards with merry words and happy wishes. _It doesn’t matter, it’s, it’s fine…_

He stepped quietly through hallways and up staircases on his way to the Great Hall for some breakfast before all the others were to eat. Perhaps he would be lucky enough to enjoy some quiet time. Especially now that most of his bullies were away from the school and he did not have to hide or look over his shoulder every minute of the day.

A big mug of hot chocolate with little rainbow coloured marshmallows bobbing about appeared before him. Along with a plate of sandwiches and some fruits. He ate silently, hard at work to keep the little tears away. Tears he refused to spill from the lack of love he felt from his family. Not even his mother would send him anything. It hurt. It hurt so badly. Even if he had known, it hurt.

He finished his food and were halfway through the mug of hot chocolate when an owl flew over to him. It landed right in front of him with a light thud of its clawed feet. It was grey with white spots on its wings; pretty. It had a little envelope held in its beak and Severus looked around. Nobody else was close by. Could it be for him? He craned his neck and yes, his name was written in softly curling letters on the envelope.

The owl dropped the letter and hooted once, Severus offered one of his remaining three marshmallows; the owl nibbled it in a thankful stillness before it hooted again and flew away. Severus stared at the envelope for a long minute before he even dared to touch it. But once he did it took a mere second for him to open it and haul out the card inside.

It had galloping reindeer tied to a sleigh on it. It sparkled and glittered. He stroked the surface as the words “Merry Christmas” flashed in gold. He opened it and a soft sound of Christmas bells rang out. He smiled as he saw softly curling words appear in a haze before they turned absolutely clear.

’ _Merry Christmas dear Severus, I do hope you have a merry time and enjoy the holiday before next term begins. Christmas is different for everyone, but all should feel loved and cherished at such a happy time as Christmas. And you are, dear little Severus. I wish you all the best, Minerva McGonagall.’_ Severus read it over and over as little tears shone in his eyes.

That someone, a professor even, had taken the time to write him a Christmas card with such endearing and happy words made his little heart beat a little faster and Christmas did not feel quite as horrible anymore. Perhaps, in the future, there would be happiness for him? He hoped so as he hugged the card to his chest with a boyish grin and joy in his heart.

As he hid the card in his robe he looked towards the teacher’s table at the end of the room. He saw McGonagall smile and raised her cup towards him. It looked as though little tears twinkled in her eyes as well and he returned the gesture with a broad smile and blushing cheeks. She had, after all, restored a little faith in Christmas for him this day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second day of SNAPEMAS and I will not admit that I might have cried a little as I wrote this… No tears, no, no, no tears at all over here… O.O
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it and are looking forward to more SNAPEMAS stories! :D


	4. Smiles [3]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 3. Smiles
> 
> A/N: Here we go, day 3 of SNAPEMAS and today we get Smiles as a prompt! :D I decided to play with one of my favourite Snape love tropes in this one; age difference. So while you are young - a mere 21 of age, Severus is 43 (so, 22 years age difference - same as my grandparents btw xD)
> 
> Also, please know that I use the term ‘Christmas morning’ since some celebrate on the 24:th (Christmas Eve) and some celebrate on the 25:th (Christmas Day). I don’t want to limit it by writing Christmas Day Morning or Christmas Eve Morning ^^ Same goes for when I write Christmas - rather than Christmas Day or Christmas Eve :P
> 
> Setting: Diagon Alley, Sugarplum’s Sweets Shop
> 
> Pairing: Snape x Reader

Diagon Alley was brimming with activity, teeming with merriness and joy as people rushed here and there. But you, however, did not rush. You simple walked slowly through the crowd with your boyfriend next to you. Your arm wrapped around his. Your heavy coats kept you nice and toasty as tiny flakes of snow sifted through the cold air.

You could not have been happier. This would be your first Christmas with the love of your life. Your first Christmas by his side. The first time you exchanged presents and the first time you’d wake up on Christmas morning and be able to cuddle in his arms. Oh, how you longed for Christmas to actually come around so you could make many new memories with your beloved.

It would be different this year of course. Your family had shunned you after you got together with Severus; he was more than twice your age and your family did not approve. He was almost as old as your own father - but what did it matter? You loved him, he loved you and you never felt as cherished as you did under his loving gaze. He was all you could ever have hoped for. And you chose him, you would always do so.

“Do you want to go in?” Severus asked as you had stopped in front of a second-hand bookstore. You shook your head, today was not for books. You both usually got stuck and the whole day would be lost. No today you wanted to be with him, in every way.  
“Let’s go there,” you said and pointed towards a very pink store called Sugarplum’s Sweets Shop. Severus’s lips tugged in a half-smile as he nodded.  
“As you wish, love,” he said and your heart pounded at his voice and the utterance of the word 'love’.

The store was quite full of people but they seemed to clear a path as Severus strode in with his commanding presence. He always did that, it was just who he was and you loved it. His command, his aura, his posture and the respect he seemed to demand just by breathing. You relished in his strength and felt as soft as cotton in comparison. As brittle as glass. Yet he was like a barrier between you and all things that could break you. You were safe with him. Strong with him. Happy and carefree with him.

You looked around, there were sweets of all kinds; and pastries. The air was thick with a sugary scent and it was too hot with the heavy cloak you wore. But it didn’t matter. You took his hand and dragged him over to the liquorice corner. _So many goodies,_ you thought as you let go of Severus and looked at all the sweets. You smiled so broadly, had you not had ears it might have gone all the way around your head.

“What should we get?” you asked and turned towards Severus. He smiled at you, one of those smiles he never gave to any other person, as his arms laid crossed over his chest.  
“Whatever you wish, love,” he said in that rumbling voice of his that made your heart pound a little harder as your knees grew a little weaker. You gave him a joyful expression before you turned back to the liquorice. you grabbed a bag and started to fill it with four pieces of each candy you wished to eat and share with him.

You walked around the store, filled your bag with care and grabbed a few pastries as well. You wanted to share them with him, with your beloved Severus and see his smile as you both shared such a sweet little moment in private. You were well aware that he had a different persona in front of others. That he had to, it was like a protective wall of his own. Like he was to you. But you didn’t mind. You knew his true nature and the love he held for you. Just thinking about it made you all giddy.

He came up behind you as you were pondering whether to take the pumpkin pastries or the cinnamon rolls. He gave the top of your head a kiss and whispered in your ear,  
“Take both, darling. You know you will regret it later otherwise.” You giggled as he gave your warm ear a little nibble before he kissed your jaw tenderly. You grabbed both the pastries and the rolls before he led you to the register.

Your goodies were packed, Severus paid and out the door you went. Your arm yet again wrapped around his as he carried the bag with all the goodies in his free hand. You talked animatedly about how you wanted to decorate his house, buy a tree, make a Christmas dinner among many other Christmas related activities. He barely said a word but every time you glanced up at him he wore the brightest of smiles. Despite being in public. Despite the looks everyone gave you. Despite the whispers and the people who swirled to avoid walking in his path. He smiled so brightly. You could not help but smile just as brightly as you walked down Diagon Alley.

When you arrived at Severus’s house at Spinner’s End you hung up your coat, kicked off your snowy boots and slipped your feet in the fluffy slippers he had bought you a few weeks ago. You had only complained once, _once_ , that the floors were a little cold and just an hour later he presented you with the cutest little bunny slippers that were so soft and warm it felt as though you walked on sun-heated clouds.

You had grabbed the bag from him before you headed to the kitchen. You unpacked the goodies and placed them in different boxes to keep them fresh in the hopes you would be able to enjoy it all for a few days at least. Severus came in on muffled steps. His arms wrapped around you as he kissed the top of your head again. You leaned back into him and that smile was back yet again.

“If you don’t stop my cheeks are going to hurt,” you chided softly as your hands landed on his forearms that were wrapped right over your chest.  
“Stop what?” he murmured softly and the words vibrated through your entire body as his voice seemed to reach every inch of you.  
“Making me smile like this,” you hummed and closed your eyes, completely content.

Severus chuckled and kissed your temple.  
“Never. It is my mission in life to keep you smiling,” he said and you giggled.  
“Sev, you’re so sweet.”  
“Hm, perhaps for you. For you,” he murmured and kissed your temple again, “I will be as sweet as I can.” His words made you tremble and you felt so adored it nearly burst out of you in pure energy.

“This Christmas will be the greatest one ever,” you sighed happily as your thumb stroked his arm.  
“I am sorry your family has not-”  
“Oh hush, they can rot in their mansion without the joy of watching the golden star on top of the tree.” Severus leaned back a little and you looked up at his pondering face. You smiled wickedly on a soft shrug of your shoulder.  
“It’s mine, the golden star was a gift from my great grandfather and it always sits at the top of the tree, every Christmas. Well, except, this year it will sit at the top of _our_ tree,” you said with that wicked smile and he let you go on a soft hum.

You spun around and embraced him as you tilted your head back to look him in the eye.  
“It is mine and it will be where I will be. And I, I will always be with you, from now and until the end of time.” Severus’s arms encased you in warmth as he gave your smiling lips a soft kiss.  
“You are a wicked delight, my love,” he chuckled, “and I am the happiest man in the universe to be with you.” You reached up and kissed him to convey all the feelings you had for him. He returned the favour.

You kissed while you smiled and everything seemed right in the world. Warmth, light and heavenly love filled you up as he refused to let you go until you wined about eating the goodies you had purchased earlier. And even then he only let go a little bit, so you could reach the goodies before he walked you to the living room with his hand at your lower back. His face in such a bright smile it made you feel as if the brightest of Christmas lights had nothing on his shine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day three of SNAPEMAS and this was just a pure joy to write - I so rarely stick to just fluffy love stuff ( I don’t feel I’m really good at it so xD ) but this was so rewarding to write. I feel as though our lovely Snape deserves to have some pure love and joy in his life. Especially around Christmas! 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this and please join me for SNAPEMAS - it is not too late! :D


	5. Snow [4]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 4. Snow
> 
> A/N: So I wanted to write something with nearly only Snape, from his POV, and this prompt made me think of a little story about friendship, I hope you will like it. It’s rather soft and subtle, yet I feel as if there is some form of power in it. Something strong. Well, you can judge for yourself ^^ this type of writing is not in my comfort zone - but it’s (apparently) good practice to write outside of your comfort zone xD I gave it a try at least!
> 
> Setting: Hogwarts Grounds
> 
> Characters: Snape and McGonagall

I had graded papers all morning, not even breakfast could deter me from finishing. No, a few cups of black coffee had been all I consumed. But now, that the pile was dwindling and my stomach churned I finally glanced at the clock only to notice it was near lunchtime. With a sigh, I rose from the creaking chair to head down to the Great Hall. For a bite to eat.

As I arrived on the first floor my eyes blinked a bit. The light was brighter than in the dungeons. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust. Outside the large windows, snow was falling. It fell in heavy flakes cast about in the soft wind. My stomach growled, I promptly ignored it. My body tugged towards the solitude and softness outside.

It had been snowing for quite some time now. The grounds were covered and everything sparkled in glistening white. I could not resist it. So rather than head to the Great Hall, I opened the front doors and stepped out in the cold. The snow wrapped me in white in a mere moment. The flakes in sharp contrast to my black cloak and hair.

Under my boots, the snow sunk and was indented with each step I took. I marched out, to the middle of the stone bridge. As I turned to look at Hogwarts I felt childlike again. It was beautiful. The stone covered in snow, icicles gleaming where they hung along the roofs. Above, some strands of golden sunshine broke through the snow-filled clouds and made it look as if it were the purest of magic.

I watched as more snow covered the building and surrounding grounds. The frozen lake a shimmering white blanket. It reminded me of pureness and tranquillity. Two things I rarely found in my life. _Not that I have ever ventured to lust for such things,_ I thought as something heavy slithered around in my chest and the childlike feeling evaporated. 

Standing on the snow-covered bridge, gazing at all the white and pure around me I felt oddly hopeless. As if I were not a part of it. Yes, I lived there. I worked there. I was part of the school, part of something. A person, with an imprint and history. A future as well, hopefully. But I was apart from the world. Apart from my colleges, apart from friendship and love. Apart from most things.

The feeling weighed heavily over my shoulders as I allowed my mind to drift, much like the snow carried on the wind around me.  
“Perhaps, one day, I shall find a new purpose. Be a part of something, for me. Not for others. For me,” I mumbled out to nobody as my body grew colder without a proper winter coat on. My hands tucked into my pockets and my hair soggy from the melting snow. Not that it mattered.

I inhaled deeply, the cold air stung my nose and chilled my throat as it coursed down to my lungs. It smelled of wood, winter and stone. Smelled of emptiness. As I yet again gazed at the marvel that was Hogwarts something in me settled. I settled. But not, not in a good way. It was more of resignation than hope.

“Severus!” My name was called out from far away. I squinted towards Hogwarts where Minerva stood, her hand held her hat in place as she called me with a gentle yet shrill voice.  
“Severus, you will catch a cold!” she called again and I chuckled with a shake of my head.  
“Alright Minerva, alright!” I called back and with a few long and hurried strides I was at her side by the end of the bridge.

She sighed, so heavily her shoulders rose and sunk. It reminded me of all those times she reprimanded students who did prank after prank. As if she would reprimand but felt hopeless about it at the same time. As if she was well aware the students would just do another prank, miss another lecture or hand in another sloppy essay no matter what she said or did. Severus often felt the same, or, at least sort of. Students often avoided agitating him, and he was rather thankful for that as his mood was not always the greatest. Neither was his patience. 

“Severus, you will catch a cold in this weather dressed like that. By Merlin, sometimes I feel like your a seventeen-year-old boy again,” she fussed as she brushed off some snow from my shoulders.  
“Minerva, I am quite all right,” I drawled as her hands rose and sunk in an exasperated gesture.  
“Isn’t it bad enough I need to deal with the student? Now you too?” I chuckled with a slight shake of my head as her words felt warm despite her tone.  
“I assure you, I am quite capable of handling myself. You need not worry about me.”  
“Oh pish-posh,” she said on a sigh, “I will always worry about you. That’s what friends do, Severus,” she muttered with that fussy tone again.

My head tilted and warmth spread through my chest. _Friends, well, I suppose that’s one way to view us. Friends,_ I thought on a small smile. But Minerva did not miss that smile no matter how small it was.  
“Oh, don’t you dare think you have no friends Severus. Come on, lunch awaits.” Her words were commands and I were not foolish enough to disobey the headstrong lady. So I followed by her side until we were seated in the Great Hall.

A swift spell had dried us both when we had entered Hogwarts and when the food arrived my stomach growled so ferociously Minerva looked quite shocked. Even concerned.  
“By Merlin, Severus,” she gasped and I smiled sheepishly for only her to see as she was sat so close.  
“You really do need to take better care of yourself. No food, no winter clothes, out and about in the snow. I’m surprised you didn’t decide to take a dip in the frozen lake while you were at it!” she shrieked on a few heavy sighs.

I simply shrugged at her words. To occupied with the food and the thoughts that crept through my mind. Warm thoughts, softer thoughts than a few moments earlier. Perhaps I was not completely apart from everything and perhaps, just perhaps, I had something to be grateful for. A friend. A caring friend. And, after all, was that not enough? To have someone who cared for you and that you cared for?

_For now, it is enough. For now, it is really all I could ask for._ The recent thoughts of emptiness seemed to be lessened and even though I knew the reprieve from the cold and dark of loneliness would be short I allowed it to enter my heart and linger for a moment. Just long enough for the snow to settle outside as the wind died and the sun appeared in its full glory. All while Minerva, my friend, chatted about Christmas decorations and jolly holidays. I merely listened and enjoyed life for a silly little moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked this, I really was trying to go for something more subtle and friendship-like :P Did I manage somewhat okay? xD I mean, I am more for pairing and romance and NSFW stuff so… but it’s good practice to write things out of your comfort zone! Or so I’m told at least O.O


	6. Memories [5]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 5. Memories
> 
> A/N: So, we are on day 5 of SNAPEMAS and I have a little longer fic for you today! Fair warning though, it is very mixed between joy and sorrow because I try to shine some light on tough subjects with my writing. I know it’s a jolly time of year but it is also around this time of year many suffer - often in silence. So, with that said, I hope you enjoy this one!
> 
> Setting: Your home on a little hill covered in snow, Christmas morning
> 
> Pairing: Snape x Wife!Reader
> 
> ABBR.: │(y/n) - Your Name │

_Christmas, it’s finally here!_ It was the first thing you thought as you woke from a soft slumber next to your husband. It was still early, pitch black outside despite the heavy layer of snow you knew was just beyond the frost-covered window. You sighed, completely content as you snuggled up next to Severus. His arms snaked lazily around you as he grumbled a ‘good morning’ with that raspy voice you adored.

You kissed his chest as you were tucked into him, your head heavy on his pale shoulder.  
“Good morning hubby,” you purred and you saw a little smile tug at his thin lips. Your fingers traced idle circles on his chest, swirling in the black chest hair you always loved to drag your fingers through. He chuckled and moved his free hand to be beneath his head.

“How long do you think we have?” he murmured and it vibrated through your skin where your head rested against him.  
“'dunno, an hour maybe,” you whispered back, he chuckled.  
“That’s more than enough.” Before you knew it he was on top of you. He held up his weight with his arms on either side of you as he snuggled in between your warm legs. Fitting perfectly together.

You giggled as your arms snaked around him; your warm hands landed on each of his shoulders before you moved them down his scarred back. You barely noticed all the marks he bore any longer. They were a part of him and nothing with him could be ugly. Not even the near-white marks that covered most of his back. You knew what memories they carried and you had been determined, from the first time you saw them, to take away his pain. As he did yours.

His lips travelled down your temple, cheek and jaw; ventured down your throat as he purred against you. A soft moan escaped you as one of his hands stroked down your ribs and hip; then up again.  
“Severus,” you whispered and he hummed.  
“I love you,” was his answer to your call of his name before his head dipped further down to your breasts as he kissed, licked and nibbled.  
“I love you too,” you panted softly as your hands grabbed on to his back. Your nails slightly dug in and he moaned against your warm skin.

He ventured further down and your opening was slick with want. A feverish need pounded in you as he stirred you awake in every way possible. You loved him dearly. The perfect man that was yours to love and cherish, to care for and support. As he did for you in all ways possible. The way he made you tremble with arousal was just the biggest of bonuses. He was masterful in the art of seduction and just as skilled when it came to the actual deed. He never left you unsatisfied if he could help it.

“Oh, Sev, please,” you pleaded as he suckled and licked at your most sensitive spot. As he tenderly stroked and sucked the little bundle of nerves. Your body stiffened ever so slightly as he hummed against you. It was a far better experience than any vibrating toy could ever give you. Could there be a better way to start of Christmas? _No, no I don’t think so…_

“I love-” Just as he was about to say something you both froze. Then in a flurry of movements, he threw himself up and you both snuggled up to each other pretending to be asleep. You tried to calm your body and breathing, he was trying to do the same. You both inhaled and exhaled a long, deep breath and just a second later your door gently squeaked open. Just as you both were able to scold your faces into sleeping masks.

You pretended to be asleep as little feet padded the floor on their journey towards your bed. The mattress bent and the bed groined a bit as a little body climbed onto it.   
“Mommy,” a sing-song voice whispered. You feigned sleep and tried with all your might not to smile.  
“Mommy,” the little voice whispered again, a little louder. But you did not stir. You knew to lay still and be quiet, pretend to sleep as this, this very moment, was your husbands favourite part of Christmas morning.

The bed dipped, someone small crawled over you and snuggled in between yourself and Severus.  
“Daddy?” the little voice whispered, “daddy wake up.” You felt Severus stir as he feigned waking up with a grunt.  
“What is it my little princess?” he murmured with that raspy voice and you laid still, listened. Tried to still the yearning and pounding Severus had stirred in you a moment earlier.  
“I can not sleep,” your daughter whispered with a sigh. Severus chuckled and you knew it was because she spoke like him. Said each word. She never used 'can’t’ or 'won’t’, not even 'I’ll’. No, she spoke every word just like her father. Except if she was mad. Then it was a splurge of words of all kinds.

“You can not sleep, you say?” You felt the nod she gave.  
“Should we go and make breakfast then?” Severus continued in a hushed tone, “so mommy can sleep?”  
“Mommy is sleeping hard,” your daughter said with a sigh and Severus chuckled.  
“She is indeed,” he whispered and your daughter giggled as you presumed he gave her a little tickle or kiss to the top of her head.  
“Come on then.” They both left the bed with muffled steps and you knew Severus was holding her hand and in her other hand his old, nearly worn out, pyjama pants of black silk was most likely clutched and trailed after her.

She had never had a teddy bear to fall asleep with or anything like that. No, your daughter had laid claim to Severus’s pyjama pants when she was no more than 7 months old. His favourite pair. But he had given them up freely. You smiled at the memory of his shocked eyes as your daughter had screamed and screamed only to fall asleep instantly when you gave her the pants. They smelled of her father and it soothed her immensely. Since then, the king had lost his garment to the little princess who refused to share.

The door closed and you heard the stairs groan under their weight as you turned over and sighed. Sure, you had not had the satisfaction of sweet release but you had so much more to feel content about. So as you layed there you allowed memories to flash by. Some happy and some sad. Some horrible and some wonderful.

Your mind drifted away to Christmas’s passed. The first Christmas you had ever spent with Severus had been a, well, trial. He had said no to music, no to garlands, no to Christmas cookies and star-shaped lamps. No to a tree and no to a party. He had blocked you at every turn as you had tried your darndest to decorate his house at Spinner’s End.

_Well, he lost that battle and every Christmas battle since,_ you thought as a chuckle escaped you. You had gone up at two in the morning and decorated the whole damn house in red, green and silver. Everywhere hung decorations, in the oven cookies were being baked and from the radio in the kitchen came soft Christmas music. You had ordered a tree to be delivered at exactly six in the morning as Severus was a bit of a sleepyhead back then and usually didn’t get up until after nine in the morning.

You had moved some furniture and placed the tree smack in the middle of the living room and boy oh boy had it been decorated. There were all kinds of decorations and so much glitter you could barely see the tree beneath it all. The house was a Christmas Wonderland by the time Severus shuffled down from the bedroom and his face. _HIS FACE! I can still not get over it,_ you thought and you had to muffle a laugh with your hand not to be too loud.

He had looked utterly outraged and shocked. His exact words were _'What devil has spewed Christmas all over MY house?! (y/n)! What have you done to my house, you wicked woman!’_ You had stood your ground and the minute he had whipped out his wand to take it all down you had snatched it and ran into the kitchen where the smell of cookies hit him like a wall of sweetness. And you knew, the battle had been won when he saw the gingerbread heart decorate with glace that spelt 'I love you, my sweet Grinch’.

He had choked on a rumbling laugh and he seemed to have lost the anger and outrage as he gingerly looked at the cookie you had made only for him. _That saved my arse,_ you chuckled again as the clear sounds of breakfast in the making reached you from downstairs.  
“Daddy, I … ham … plate…” You could hear some of the words your daughter was uttering but the unmistakable sound of Severus’s praise was impossible to miss.

More feet clapped and thudded against creaking floorboards.  
“Oh boy, you have your hands full now my Grinch,” you chuckled and how right you were. Jolly voices rang through the house, chaos broke out as apparently everyone was awake and up - ready for Christmas. You heard the unmistakable sound of begging with words of gifts. Then grumbling about waiting only to be followed by shouting and feet stomping the floor.

_Three, two, one-_  
“Go get mommy!” _There it is, my queue to save my poor husband, and here comes the cavalry!_ The door burst open and several little bodies filled the bed.  
“Mommy! Mommy! It’s Christmas!” a boyish voice with a high pitch rang out and you opened your eyes only to grab all of your kids and gave them kisses as they struggled to get away while laughing.  
“It is my little darlings, it is!” you said with joy as you looked at your daughter and your three sons. Happiness filled your chest and you could barely keep the tears away. You had not always been so fortunate as to have a family, to have children. There was a time when you feared it would never happen.

Jacob, your oldest son of nine years, fortunately broke your train of thought as he pulled on your arm.  
“Let’s go, mommy! Daddy says we can’t have our gifts yet!” he hollered with a disgruntled sneer he had learnt from his father long ago. He was adorable with his father’s black hair and your eyes paired with his pale skin.  
“Daddy said so! Daddy’s mean!” Ethan and William declared at the same time, their twin behaviour was getting almost spooky. Despite only being seven years old they already acted like one - no matter how hard you tried to make sure they always knew they were their own individual persons.

You sighed and shook your head, “daddy is not mean. Daddy is very nice and loves you very much. Don’t hurt his feelings like that.” The twins looked a little sad at that but seemed to quickly shake it off with a hasty nod.  
“Mommy, can you come now?” You looked at your daughter, little Elisa who had slid off the bed and stood next to your head. You smiled and nodded.  
“Let’s go make sure daddy has set the table properly guys,” you said and the cavalry filed out of the room in a thunder of hurried steps as the twins raced each other to get to the kitchen first; despite the fact you called after them not to run.

In the kitchen, Severus was preparing tea and coffee while your children messed up the table setting as they moved things around to their liking. You leaned against the door jamb as you watched the chaos that was your family. Your perfect little home with the messy fridge covered in the children’s art, the worn floorboards, the creaking cabinets and that one drawer that wouldn’t fully close in the little kitchen. There laid toys here and there, books as well. Now during Christmas times, there was even more stuff everywhere as you were crazy for Christmas decorations and your children seemed to have inherent that as well. But it was your mess, your family’s things and it made you smile.

“Ah, there you are, about time,” Severus smiled as he filled your cup with tea and his own with pitch-black coffee.  
“Hot chocolate! Hot chocolate!” Elisa hollered as she tugged on her fathers pants before you had had any time to answer him.  
“Alright, alright. Easy does it,” Severus chuckled and gave you a silent look. You nodded and started to prepare the hot chocolate as all the kids swarmed towards you with their favourite mugs in their little hands. they were all twinkling eyes and wide smiles as they were dressed in their Christmas pyjamas and slippers.

You made each cup to their liking. Elisa’s with rainbow marshmallows. Jacob’s with whipped cream and chocolate powder on top. The twins, Ethan and William, preferred theirs with an extra scoop of chocolate and exactly five blue marshmallows. No more, no less.  
“Careful now,” you chided as they started to walk towards the table with their filled mugs and they all slowed down so as not to spill the warm drink.

Again, it was chaos. Elisa only wanted Severus to make her breakfast, Jacob wanted to have more of _everything_ , the twins wrestled for the same pieces of ham to put on their sandwiches but all were happy. And once everyone had what they wanted a soft silence fell as you all enjoyed a hearty breakfast while the littler radio played soft carols in the background.

You sipped your tea and nibbled on a sandwich as you made sure the kids sat properly and didn’t flail their arms about too much. Severus gave you sweet looks and little smiles whenever little Elisa allowed him to not be fully occupied by her talk of reindeer and snowmen.

It didn’t take long for the nagging about Christmas gifts began. You simply rolled your eyes, it was the same thing every year. The kids were always so preoccupied with the thought of gifts that they somehow always missed checking their stockings and you never reminded them before breakfast, always after. You had done that mistake only once and would never do it again as the whole breakfast was ruined. The kids only played with the things they had received instead of eating. It had been a mess and a struggle to get a Christmas breakfast that year.

So you smiled and hummed, added little words like 'oh no’ and 'really’ when needed as the kids babbled about everything they could possibly think of to try and persuade you to give them their gifts. Breakfast was always like that - full of talking that is - but on Christmas, you actually let them babble for as much as they wanted. It was a time for freedom and joy, not reprimands and silencing. And, who wouldn’t want their children to feel like they always can speak to their parents? About anything. Well, you wanted them to feel that they could do just that.

When breakfast had been cleared away and you were about to tell the kids to check their stockings Jacob shrieked before you even had a chance to say anything.  
“Stockings! _WE HAVE STOCKINGS!_ ” he hollered loudly and for a moment everything was quiet and still. Then the cavalry literally ran to the fireplace where six stockings hung. You chuckled as both you and Severus followed silently. Holding freshly filled cups of tea and coffee respectively.

The kids played with their morning toys - a tradition your family had had for many generations. As a child you didn’t think much of it but now that you yourself had children you understood why the tradition came to be in the first place. _To keep the little ones calm, and occupied, for a few hours. Until they get the bulk of the gifts,_ you thought with a smile and a swift glance around the room.

Around your wrist were a silver bracelet, it had waited in your stocking. The chain was adorned with little letters in between even spaces. All the first letters of your children’s names. Your husband had always been a thoughtful and caring gifter so you were not surprised to find something you wanted without even having known you wanted it to begin with in your stocking. He, on the other hand, was enjoying a rather hefty book. A muggle book to be precise; a collection of classics from Charles Dickens, Bram Stroker and Jane Austen.

Your husband would never admit it but he adored classical romance with all it’s intricate emotions and linguistics. So you bough collection edition for him; just so he could pretend it was the other stories that fascinated him rather than the once with a lot of romance. Even if those were the ones he read over and over. In this particular collection 'Pride & Prejudice’ was the most romantic story and you already saw him skipping to the latter half of the book to read it.

As you sat there -the kids played, your husband read and you enjoyed a fresh cup of peppermint tea - memories flooded in again as the happiness you felt poked at the less happy times that seemed to always linger in the back of your head. No matter what you did to cast those memories out. They were, truly, useless as they held no sway any longer. They were healed wounds. Merely scars now.

However, they pulled you back to the third Christmas you had had with Severus, the first one as a married couple. It wasn’t a happy Christmas. The gifts he had given were perfect, the food delicious and the house sparkled with decorations as a hefty smell of gingerbread cookies filled the air. He had done it all. Severus that is. You, you had barely had the energy to get out of bed.

It was the first Christmas you could remember not being jolly, or singing, or dancing. Not baking or cooking or decorating. No, you had been curled up under heavy blankets with one of Severus’s sweaters tightly held to your chest as you sobbed and cried for hours. 

The memory made you shudder, Severus noticed from the other side of the little living room.  
“Love?” he asked in that worried tone of his, “are you cold?” You shook your head but grabbed a blanket to put over your folded legs anyway. He arched a brow and you gave him a tight smile before your eyes returned to rest on the children, as they were playing on the rug before you. _I’m so happy I have all of you, my little darlings…_

But no matter how happy you were the memory kept pressing, as it had done every Christmas. Your children reminded you of it, more often than you cared to admit. But you didn’t hold that against them and you never spoke of it. With them, your husband or anyone else.

It was 12 years ago and you preferred not to utter a word about it. After all, why speak of such horrible things as miscarriages with the lovely little humans that were your children. Why torment yourself and your husband with words of what was lost when there has been so much gain afterwards. It was just useless. And, usually, the memories faded away hurriedly after you just let them play out. It was still hard to allow them through.

But you remembered. Always remembered the pain, horror and dread from losing a child before it even arrived in the world. The emptiness, that hollow feeling where something - someone - would always be missing. You had only been three months pregnant when it happened. But the fact it had happened a mere two days before Christmas seemed to make the experience even worse. And now, now those memories were at their peak around the happiest time of the year.

But you never let it take over and you always cherished what you had. Four beautiful children, a loving husband and a warm place to call home. After all, some unlucky souls never got children. No matter how hard they tried or how many times they manage to get pregnant or how badly they wanted it. If it was a choice to not have children; you were happy for that person. But to never have children, or to miscarry, when you desperately wanted to have your own little family was nearly unspeakable. 

So, you never spoke of it. You were slowly getting past it even if the memories remained. But they were further away now. Not so demanding and not so vivid any longer. Scars rather than wounds. You were thankful for that. _I have more than I could ever have hoped for,_ you thought and a warm smile spread across your lips as Elisa crawled up on the couch and snuggled into your embrace with her new dragon plushie held tightly.

“Do you like her?” you asked, your daughter smiled.  
“You think it is a she?” she asked, “I mean, it is green.” You gave her a smile as you stroked her hair. She already spoke so clearly. A fast learner it appeared.  
“It can’t be a girl because it is green?” you asked, your daughter pondered the idea.  
“It has purple spikes,” she stated, “and purple eyes,” she continued.  
“Elisa, you decide if it is a he or a she. Listen to the dragon, what is it telling you?”

Your daughter stared at the plushie and seemed extremely focused.  
“It’s not a he or a she,” she stated firmly.  
“Oh, what is it then?” you asked with a smile, she looked at you with her face set in a determined expression.  
“It’s a dragon.” You smiled and laughed, _good answer my little clever darling._  
“That sounds very good sweetheart, what is your dragon’s name then?”  
“Dragon,” she stated flatly as if it were the most obvious thing in the whole world that the genderless dragon’s name was just Dragon. _Yeah, how could one not immediately understand that?_ You nodded with a wide smile - and a damn good try to not laugh at how cute your daughter was - and she returned to hugging the plushie; obviously happy with her own logic.

The memories of the sorrow and heartache, the loss, faded away and you sat with your daughter in your arms and a wide smile covered your lips. _Life is good,_ you thought for yourself and as if faith had little tolerance for your enjoyment all hell broke loose as the twins stole Jacobs toy. They screamed and fought for the toy. All six hands grabbed after it. Severus was quickly over at them and settled the situation though so you continued to cuddle your little daughter.

It didn’t take long for Jacob to come over and Elisa swiftly moved over to her dad where she seemed even happier to be curled up. You took Jacob in your arms, quite happy he still wanted to cuddle despite being nine years old and always proclaimed he was 'a big boy now’ when you tried to hug him or kiss him. So you enjoyed it. Loved the moment as he talked about all the things his robot toy could do, how his robot had saved the universe and always remembered mother’s day. It was quite amusing as Jacob always seemed to forget about that particular day.

You kissed the top of his head and he ran off to his room to play with the toy, the twins followed - always wanting to be close to their big brother - and Elisa was quick not to be left behind. A calm quiet fell over the living room and Severus came over to you. You smiled and he lifted your legs before he sat down next to you and placed your legs over his.

“Happy?” he asked with a glance at the bracelet. You beamed at him.  
“Very, you? Enjoying your new book?” you asked with a little wicked smile and he chuckled.  
“I know you know, but I’ll be damned if I ever admit it.” You laughed loudly at his words and he kissed your temple.  
“My sweet Grinch,” you whispered and stole a quick kiss from his smiling lips before he had leaned too far away again.

“Think they will play for a while?” he asked as his hands stroked your legs atop the blanket.  
“Half an hour maybe, why?” He smiled wickedly. One of those grins that made your body vibrate with want and lust. The heat from earlier ignited instantly.  
“Let’s finish what we started,” he murmured as his hand slithered in under the blanket. Your cheeks flushed and you both knew you were playing a dangerous game out in the open of the living room. You hid under the blanket and in an instant, all thoughts of Christmas, gifts and losses were torn away from you as Severus took over your mind, body and soul yet again with the soft sound of children laughing and Christmas carols in the background.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, before I write anything else - I know it’s Christmas and it’s supposed to be light-hearted, jolly fics and stuff but I still feel like holding true to reality as Christmas his a hard time for many people for different reasons. This being only one of them. And I do want to shine some light on tough subjects through my writing - I try at least - but I am trying to keep it as light as possible during Christmas. Considering it’s supposed to be a jolly time ^^
> 
> So, I hope you enjoyed this little longer fic. I have been trying to keep my writing a bit shorter for Snapemas as I won’t otherwise be able to do as many prompts as possible - hopefully all of them. But I will do a few longer ones when I feel it’s required or I have the time to do it ^^ After all, you guys are used to my fics being a bit lengthy xD


	7. Christmas Food [6]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 6. Christmas Food
> 
> Request: slytherinmagic38 @ Tumblr - “I have a request! Would you be open to writing a fanfic on Snape x Lily? They’re my OTP… *^* Can it be super fluffly? >///< I live for the fluff XD”
> 
> A/N: So I got this request and I just had to make it a Snapemas fic since I got a fluffy idea regarding Snape cooking a whole Christmas dinner for Lily and their friends. This fic is a little OC (and AU) for many characters; you’ll see ;) 
> 
> Setting: Spinner’s End, Snape’s House
> 
> Pairing: Snape x Lily _( I WILL NOT WRITE THIS SHIP EVER AGAIN, so no need to request it xD )_

**He had** been slaving in the kitchen since the early hours of the morning. The house smelled of ham, turkey, gingerbread cookies, potatoes and all things good with Christmas food. He was so nervous he had barely gotten any sleep. Everything had to be perfect. Absolutely perfect. Because she was coming. Lily. Lovely, sweet Lily whom he had adored since the first day they met.

He smiled to himself as his cheeks turned a shade of scarlet red. Just the thought of her was enough to make him all giddy despite being an adult. Despite being nearly 24 years old. He was just a boy in love when it came to her.

**The doorbell** rang and his entire body went numb. He had just finished setting the table and had lit the last of the many candles that made the room shine in a warm glow. _She’s here,_ he thought to himself and hurriedly walked tot he door. He took a deep breath before he unlocked and open it.

There she stood, packed in thick clothes and while she held a pie in her hands.  
“Merry Christmas, Sev,” she said happily and he smiled so wide his cheeks hurt.  
“Merry Christmas, Flower,” he answered and stepped away from the opening so she could come in. Her smile was instantly wider and she handed him the pie before she closed the door behind her.

“It’s so cold,” she murmured as she took off her coat, hat, gloves, scarf and boots.  
“Well, it has been snowing.” Severus just watched her with glittering eyes as she laughed.  
“True, true, at least it’s nice and warm with you,” she said and his heart fluttered at her words. Her cheeks a bit red - from the cold or the sweet words he did not know.

“Well, um, come in,” he said as he fumbled for anything nice to say back, “feel free to heat up by the fire.” He turned at those words and walked toward the kitchen. Her soft steps echoed behind him.  
“What have you been cooking? It smells divine!” Severus still smiled, just being close to her made him happy. Happy and content.

“Food,” he murmured sheepishly and she laughed. It echoed all through the house and he loved that sound.  
“I know that, but what food Sev? What lovely creations have you come up with for us?”  
“Have a look,” he said as they entered the kitchen and he placed the pie among a mountain of food - everything from the simplest of homemade bread to the most garnished turkey one could imagine.

Lily gawked, Severus held his breath. She turned towards him and closed her mouth as if she just had figured out it was open. He became nervous and fiddled with his fingers behind his back.  
“Is it not enough?” he asked as he ventured to look into her clear eyes.  
“Enough? Oh, Severus, it’s far too much!” she gushed with a hand against her throat.  
“Guess I’m not used to cooking for more than one,” he said, “I just, wanted you to have all the things you’d like.” She smiled at him and laid her hand upon his arm.  
“This is more than I could ever want. Let’s hope the others are hungry, so it doesn’t go to waste.” Severus nodded at her words but were totally lost in her twinkling eyes.

“Well, let’s get cracking,” Lily said as she rolled up her sleeves and rubbed her hands together in a joyous kind of way. Severus chuckled and did the same.  
“You really are a great cook,” she said softly and her face seemed to turn a little red again. Severus felt the heat of a blush as well.  
“Thank- thank you,” he murmured as his voice was a bit unstable from her proximity.

They moved all the food out to the table Severus had set up in the living room. He had clear the room as best he could to fit the giant piece of furniture with all the chairs that belonged to it. Lily bumped into him at times, or she reached across him to place a food item down. Every time she was close the faint smell of ginger, honey and summer wafted up to his nose and he nearly hummed in delight.

Severus tried his best not to touch her but he found himself accidentally touching her hand from time to time as they passed each other. While they each went for the pie in the kitchen the same thing happened again and the warmth of her made him shiver as it spread through him like the softest of summer breeze.

“Flower, I-” The doorbell rang and Severus nearly cursed at the damn sound.  
“That must be the others!” Lily exclaimed excitedly but her eyes lingered on him. A soft look and Severus felt the hammering in his chest yet again.  
“I-” The doorbell rang again and Severus sighed.  
“We’ll talk later Sev,” Lily said as she left to open the door after she gave him a quick pat on his upper arm. Warmth spread from where she had touched him for that single little moment in time.

Severus followed with a smile. Her red hair shined in the candlelight and he could not help but adore the dress she wore as it fitted her perfectly (and gave him a very fine view as well). She opened the door and a chorus of Christmas wishes exploded in the tight hallway as it filled up with people Severus had invited. Mostly to make Lily happy but also because he was rather happy he had friends. Sure they hadn’t started off as friends, rather the opposite but as he had changed, thanks to Lily among others, so had they.

“I’m starving!” Sirius roared.  
“Oy, oy, hold on a minute,” Remus chuckled as he came up behind the man.  
“Yeah Padfoot, let us at least get inside!” James hollered with a chuckle and Sirius made a fainting gesture as he groaned. Severus chuckled and Lily laughed. It was the most wondrous sound for him.  
“You can hang your coats there,” Severus said as he pointed with open palm towards the wardrobe that he had nearly emptied for the coming guests ease.  
“Will do,” Remus said with a smile and Severus smiled back.

As the men filed in Severus looked outside, to see if Peter were joining as well. But he could not see him. Or the other guests he had invited. As much as he and the Marauders were friends (again, thanks to lovely Lily) he had also invited his own friends. And, a person of high meaning to Lily - despite the fact that he did not quite enjoy that person’s company. And he had only had word that very morning that she would indeed join them - with the words ‘only for my sister’ dashed out at the end of the muggle Christmas card.

“SIRIUS BLACK you hold on just a minute!” Lily’s voice rang out with mocked sternness and Severus closed the door and headed towards the living room where the noise came from. He found a rather funny scene on the other side of the wall. Sirius was frozen mid-air with his hands over the freshly baked bread Severus had made. Lily with her hands on her hips stared at him and he looked like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. The other’s were snickering as they shook their heads.

“The food is for all of us, you mut!” The word was said with love and Sirius mocked a howl.  
“But, the doggie is starving Lil!” he said with a pleading voice and Lily shook her head.  
“It’s quite alright, take one Sirius,” Severus said with a short nod. Sirius beamed and winked at Lily before he snagged a piece fo the bread that was dusted with varying seeds and coated in honey.

“You are utterly hopeless,” Lily whined as Sirius gulped down the bread with a grin. Severus came up behind Lily and placed his hand ever so gently on the small of her back. She looked up at him and smiled. It was a soft smile, filled with joy and tender feelings. Severus’s knees shook a bit as he could not help but feel utterly smitten and frankly in love with the woman.  
“And you spoil him, Sev,” she said with a slight tsk but nonetheless kept her smile.  
“It’s that or whining until the others arrive.” Lily nodded, seemingly pondering on something.

**The doorbell** rang yet again, just loud enough to be heard over the laughter and Christmas carols that blurted from the little radio in the window. Severus were reluctant to move as Lily had sat down right next to him and their knees were softly pressed against each other; despite the fact that she had plenty of room on the couch she chose to sit right next to him.

With a slight sigh Severus got up, “I’ll see who’s joining us.” He walked out of the room as the other continued their conversation on new spells and the possible uses for them in humorous ways. Severus stalked over to the door and opened it.  
“Mewy 'wistmas!” rang out as little Draco, merely four years old, beamed up at him.  
“Merry Christmas Draco,” Severus said and crouched to his level, “what have you got there?”  
“'oockies!” He said happily and stretched the little box towards Severus, “Fo’ eve'yone.” Severus smiled and thanked the little boy before he rose again and Draco went inside; as he eagerly shed his coat, hat, gloves and boots.

“We apologies, we couldn’t find a sitter for him,” Narcissa said, with a gentle smile.  
“That’s quite alright, I believe Lily will be rather happy. Merry Christmas,” he said and Narcissa smiled wider.  
“Merry Christmas, Severus.”  
“Yes, Merry Christmas indeed,” Lucius said with a chuckle as laughter and cooing could be heard from the living room. The Marauders were not quite friends with the couple but they all were friendly enough and James quite often discussed work (the fun parts) with Lucius as they were tightly connected being in the same department at the Ministry.

“I hear the cavalry is here?” Lucius drawled and Severus nodded with a tight smile.  
“Oh Lucius, stop it,” Narcissa chided with a light pat on his shoulder. Lucius smiled at his wife and Severus could not help but wonder if he and Lily could ever have such a relationship. A marriage between them. He pushed the thought away, he was already nervous as it was.

“This way,” Severus said and led the couple into the living room where Draco already ran around and played with all of the present people. Lily was the favourite, obviously. Severus looked as Draco told Lily all about the cookies he and his mother had baked for everyone. Lily cooed and praised him for his hard work. Draco beamed at her, as only a happy child could. But Severus only had eyes for Lily. She beamed nearly just as bright and his chest tightened with love for the woman.

“So, are we all here? Can we dig in?” Sirius said as he clapped his hands together with a grin.  
“We-” started Lily but Severus interrupted her.  
“Flower, we are not all here yet,” he said softly with a tender smile only for her. She looked puzzled while she looked between him and the table as it was set for eight people (since he had a hunch Peter would not arrive as he had heard not the slightest sound from the man).  
“Draco needs a place to sit, he was not planned.” Lily smiled, but still looked puzzled.  
“We are really sorry, Severus,” Narcissa said in a hushed tone. Severus waved his hand.  
“Nonsense, the boy is a joy,” he said with a smile to both Narcissa and Lucius whom both smiled back at him. Obviously relieved.

“Who are we waiting for then?” Lily asked as she was rearranging the table setting. Severus smiled fondly towards her.  
“That, sweet Flower, is for you to see when-” and the doorbell rang again, “well, there we go,” Severus declared before he rushed towards the door so as Lily would not beat him to it.

He opened it swiftly with a smile as he did not wish to make the relationship with Petunia any more strained than it already was. She was a, well, not very likeable woman to be frank. But he tried, by Merlin did he try.  
“Mrs Dursley,” he said and gave her a gentle nod. She huffed.  
“Petunia is fine,” she muttered as she took off her gloves with quite the show.  
“Petunia,” Severus uttered as he stepped out of her path to allow her access to his home. Even if he didn’t really enjoy the idea of it. _For Lily, this is for Lily,_ he thought so as not to sneer at the woman as she hung her coat and changed her shoes to a pair of low heels.

“Sev, who- _Tuni!_ ” Lily screamed with glee as she rushed past Severus and took her sister in her arms. Petunia smiled as she petted Lily’s back and Severus could not help but smile as well. They were opposites but they loved each other dearly.  
“Oh Lily, honestly, we saw each other just two weeks ago,” Petunia spoke with a huff but seemed rather happy her sister was so excited to see her.  
“That was two weeks ago, and not at a Christmas dinner!” Petunia simply huffed and remained quiet.

“What’s going on? We’re starving back here!” Sirius called as he strolled into the hallway.  
“We’re all here now,” Severus said, “Petunia was the last one.”  
“Well thank Merlin! Let’s eat!” Sirius was gone before anyone had time to utter a word.

Severus had been kind enough to tell Petunia who would be joining them so the woman had obviously prepared herself as she didn’t sneer or comment on Sirius behaviour. After all, they all knew each other quite well. _Well, most likely she knows all of them deeper than they know her. Such a private person,_ Severus thought as he followed the sisters into the living room where Petunia actually looked pleasantly surprised by all the decorations and the splendid looking food.

“Well then, let’s get seated,” Severus said and pointed towards the table with an open palm as he waited for all of them to take a seat where ever they wanted. He would take whatever seat available, but he hoped to be next to Lily.

He ended up at the head of the table, Lily to his right and Narcissa to his left. He was quite happy with that. On the right side were Lily, Petunia, Remus and Sirius. On the left sat Narcissa, Draco, Lucius and then James. All were chatting and eating. All seemed happy and content. Severus made sure everyone’s glasses were full and asked if anyone wanted anything that was not at the table. Draco, the little picky-eater, said he wanted apples. Sliced apples. Severus chuckled and headed off to the kitchen.

As he was slicing a green apple muffled steps were heard. He turned to see Lily, with a smile and an empty wine bottle in her hand.  
“Have any more, Sev?”  
“Top right cupboard,” he said with a jerk of his chin. She walked past him, her elbow graced him as she placed the empty bottle on the counter and he stilled for a moment.

“I know you invited her for my sake,” Lily said as she stood next to him.  
“Obviously,” Severus stated as he moved the apple slices into a little bowl with a red Christmas pattern on it.  
“Severus,” Lilly whispered as she placed her slender hand on top of his, “that was very sweet.” He stilled, a gentle warmth spread through him and he turned his hand to take hers in his.  
“Anything for you, Flower.” The whisper was soft and hushed. His heart hammered as their fingers intertwined.

“How long are you going to keep me waiting?” Lily asked and Severus jerk his head up only to be met with her loving eyes tenderly looking back at him.  
“Pardon?”  
“Oh Sev, we’ve been at this for a year now. Why haven’t you asked me out yet?” Severus swallowed as his knees shook a tad. Everything went so still and quiet as she gazed at him longingly. He was out of words. And air. He sucked in a huge gulp as he noticed he really wasn’t breathing.

“I didn’t know- I wasn’t sure-” he rambled as her hand squeezed his gently.  
“You know Sev, don’t be so insecure. You know I’m in love with you.” Severus’s eyes turned wide and he blushed scarlet. Lily giggled sweetly.  
“Okay then, Severus, will you go out with me?” she said as the giggles had died down and he just stared at her for a long moment.

“Yes,” was the only word that left his lips as he breathed out. She smiled and before he even had a chance to react she had kissed his cheeks softly.  
“Come on, they’re waiting,” Lily said and Severus nodded as he were afraid his voice would break if he spoke. So he followed her, a bowl of apple slices in his hand and a bottle of wine in her hand, as they walked back tot he living room and the guest’s who were laughing and talking loudly.

An odd feeling swept in over Severus as he handed the bowl to Draco. It was warm and soft. Safe and joyfully. He was, well, he was happy. Truly happy. He had friends, he had loved ones and he had what could be described as a family. Something he had barely dared to hope for. But there he was, hosting a Christmas dinner in his home with Lily by his side and friends all around the table that was covered in the food he had cooked. Surrounded by Christmas decorations and laughter. _Now, now I do sort of understand all that talk about family. And friends. Of its importance. No one should live without this._ The thoughts were silent yet he smiled warmly as Lily grabbed his hand atop the table and squeezed it again.

“Finally!” Remus shouted and everyone went utterly still and quiet as Remus never spoke with such raised voice (unless he was bantering with Sirius that is). Everyone looked at the smiling werewolf who seemed wickedly pleased.  
“Maybe now you can shut up about him not asking you out,” he said with a grin towards Lily who blushed deeply.

All eyes turned to them and Severus stiffened but Lily held his hand firmly and with a theatrical show she lifted his hand and kissed his knuckles as she smiled so broadly all her white teeth were flashed after the kiss.  
“Maybe you should make your own Christmas miracle to, Remus?” she chuckled and the looks she gave him told everyone at the table that Lily and Remus had a secret. Severus appeared to be the only one who noticed the slight glance Remus gave Sirius. As if he just darted around with his eyes. But Severus saw that look instantly and knew what it meant.

“What miracle?” Sirius asked with his mouth full of chicken. Severus could not help but internally laugh at Petunias aghast expression at the man’s table manners.  
“Oh hush, don’t speak with your mouth full,” Remus chided and Severus chuckled as Lily shook her head.  
“What?” Sirius asked, baffled, “tell me about this miracle!” he raved as he chewed but nobody said anything. Remus simply smiled softly as he shared a look with Lily who gave a just as soft smile back.

**“It was** lovely Severus,” Narcissa said as Draco hung over her shoulder in a deep slumber.  
“I’m glad you came,” he answered.  
“So are we,” Lucius interfered and Severus smiled at the both of them.  
“We are happy for you, dear Severus, truly.” Narcissa smiled at him and he nodded in thanks.  
“Have a safe trip.”  
“Thank you for the food and company, it was enjoyable.” Lucius shook Severus’s hand and then they were on their way. Just like Remus, Sirius and James had been a moment earlier.

In the living room - the very messy living room - sat Petunia and Lily. Both held a glass of wine each and they chatted quietly but happily. Severus lingered in the door frame for a moment. Just to look at her, lovely Lily. _Such beauty,_ he thought and that warmth spread even further through him.

At that moment, Lily looked up and smiled at him.  
“Come join us, Sev.” She beckoned him with a wave of his hand. He summoned a glass of fire whiskey as he walked towards the women and sat down in the chair opposite them.  
“Lily tells me you did all the cooking?” Petunia said and he voice was not quite so stuffy as it usually was.  
“Indeed, I did.”  
“It was lovely.” Severus arched a brow in surprise at the praise that came from Petunia.  
“Well look at that, another Christmas miracle,” Lily giggled and Severus chuckled as Petunia smiled with an ever so slight blush to her pale skin.

“You will look after her, won’t you?” Petunia’s voice was soft yet stern and Severus nodded.  
“Pfft, more likely I’ll look after him,” Lily giggled and Severus chuckled yet again.  
“Flower, I believe you are right.” Petunia seemed happy with the words so none of them pressed the matter further. Severus assumed the sister had spoken just between themselves about the whole thing before he arrived. He was just happy that Petunia seemed a bit more accepting and the fact that Lily had asked him to go out with her.

“Well, I should get going.” Petunia stood as she spoke.  
“Already?” Lily pouted and Petunia gave a tense smile.  
“We’ll see each other in a few days for Christmas.” Lily nodded at that and Petunia’s gaze drifted over to Severus.  
“You are welcome too,” she said, “if you want. But there will only be muggles there so no magic.” Severus nodded.  
“It would be a delight,” he said and he actually meant the words. No, he did not fancy Petunia, or her large husband Vernon and the spoiled child of theirs, but he was happy to have been invited. Happy to have been somewhat accepted as Christmas was a rather huge event in the muggle world.

“I will see you both promptly at eleven then,” Petunia said as she walked towards the hallway. Both Severus and Lily followed.  
“Yes, Tuni,” Lily said with a smile, “promptly at eleven.”  
“Anything we should bring?” Severus asked and Petunia pondered for a moment as she took her coat, hat, gloves and scarf.  
“That bread was quite lovely,” she said and Severus smiled with a nod.  
“I will bring some freshly baked. Have a safe trip,” Severus said and left the sister to say their goodbyes in private.

A few moments later the door closed and Severus drank the last of the fire whiskey as Lily stepped into the living room again. She curled up on the couch and looked at him. He looked right back at her.  
“So, nothing to say?” she asked and he felt as though she was trying to get at something specific.  
“No, I do not believe so,” Severus said with a raised brow. Lily sighed and shook her head.  
“Nothing at all?”  
“No?”

It took a moment of silence. Severus turned deathly pale. His back was stiff as a rod. His hands were slightly damp with sweat and his heart pounded so harshly in the confinement of his chest that he feared it might have popped out if it could have done so. _She’s in love with me,_ was the only thought that crossed his mind.

“You love me?” he asked. His voice was so low and shaky, it was nearly audible. Lily beamed at him.  
“I do,” she said with a small nod. She didn’t move as Severus seemed to rearrange something. The world perhaps.  
“But, that can’t be right?”  
“Oh, why ever not?”  
“Because I’m-”  
“The most handsome and loving man I have ever met? True.” Lily’s words came so fast he had no time to speak.  
“The most brilliant and most gentle man I have ever met? Also true.” She waltzed over to him as she continued to speak loving words of adoration and for every syllable that left her lips, he felt something in his chest expand.

“Severus, you always look down on yourself. Why can’t you just see how wonderful you are and let me love you?” Lily asked as she sat down in his lap and laid her hands on his shoulders as his arms instinctively wrapped around her.  
“I love you,” he whispered softly and she smiled as her fingers caressed his jaw.  
“I love you too.” Her lips graced his cheek tenderly.

“What do you say about skipping the whole dating ordeal and just love each other?” Severus swallowed yet nodded at her words.  
“Flower,” he murmured and as some sort of courage surged threw him he kissed her soft lips tenderly as her hands cradled his face and his arms pressed her towards him. The smell of Christmas food and her filled his nose and he loved every moment of time she gave him. Just as he loved her lips on his. _Christmas miracle indeed…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this turned out to be a long fic but I just couldn’t stop myself. I’m not good at short stuff and I felt this had the potential to be “dragged out a bit” so to speak. Lily is not a character I enjoy shipping with Severus personally BUT this was fun to write nonetheless and I love to take creative liberty with characters like this. Make love where there is supposed to be hate according to canon.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this one and that it was up to scratch both as a Snapemas fic and a request despite my rather poor skills in writing fluffy stuff xD ^^


	8. Ice skating [7]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 7. Ice Skating
> 
> A/N: OH BOY OH BOY was this fun to write! :D I really hope you’ll enjoy this one and prepare for som surprises ;)
> 
> Setting: The frozen lake at Hogwarts
> 
> Pairing: Snape x Reader
> 
> ABBR.: │(y/n) - Your Name │

“Oh come on Sev! It’s not that hard!” You twirled around the frozen lake as you were visiting your beloved Severus at the beginning of December. He had been most happy to have some time with you even if it were only a few hours but he was apparently _not_ so happy about ice skating. You rather enjoyed the activity.

He was standing off to the side of the lake, he watched you skate with a few other people - students, actually - also joining in on the ice. He shook his head at you but you were adamant he should at least try. _Come on, such a wus._

You skated over and held out your hand to him.  
“Come on you Grinch,” you said with a smile, “it’s not _that_ hard to skate.” Severus arched a brow, his arms crossed over his chest and the heavy winter cloak he wore swayed slightly in the chilly breeze.  
“I know how to skate, (y/n),” he grumbled with a sneer as he glanced around at the students, “That does not mean I’ll make a fool of myself.” You sighed.

“If you know how to skate then prove it! Or I won’t believe you.” Your breath turned to smoke as you spoke and Severus gave you another sneer.  
“Not falling for that one.”  
“Falling for what? How am I supposed to believe you can skate if you don’t show me?” You crossed your arms over your own chest and stared at him expectantly. He huffed and sighed as he seemed to relax his shoulders a bit. It actually looked a lot like defeat.

“Once,” he growled as he summoned skates with the flick of his wand. You smiled and clapped your hands with glee. _Finally!_ Severus switched from heavy boots to skates, he tied them meticulously but swiftly and you got the feeling he had done just that many times before. He stepped on tot he ice, and you weren’t gonna lie. You half wished he’d fall on his pretty ass so you could mock him a little as he so often did with you in areas were you were less knowledgeable.

But no, he did not fall, he didn’t even waver or stumble. His balance was perfect, is posture impeccable and the way he moved was soft as swaying grass in a summer breeze. You gawked as he rode past you. his hand tied behind his back and not even a smile was present on his face as he just glided around in a perfect eight.

“You do know how to skate!” you called out with joy and skated up to him where he had stopped as if he commanded the skates respect like ha commanded the attention of students in his classroom. You were in awe of him, _such a versatile man…_

He grabbed you and gave you a tiny smirk.  
“I told you, several times,” he muttered.  
“Well, I got you not eh ice, didn’t I?” you snickered with a grin and he huffed out a cloudy breath of air.  
“Oh come on, it’s fun to do stuff together.” You let go of him as you skated around him. Not quite as balanced or serenely comfortable as him. But you had fun.

“Well, you got me on the ice, can I get off now?”  
“Pfft, you’re not getting off that easily,” you grinned, “Catch me and I’ll give you a kiss.” He arched a brow expertly well towards you as you took off across the ice. He grumbled and you saw that he looked around at the student. Most of them looked, half looked or tried not to look at the man clad from head to toe in purest black.

“Severus!” you called out as you were getting quite far from him, and you did want to give him a kiss so you _were_ hoping he’d catch you. He shook his head but something changed in his posture. You were fucked.

He came at you with such speed and ease to his movement you just glided as your focus was on him. His cloak flailed around like an angry cloud of thunder and his face was harshly set. but his body, his body moved with such grace you could barely believe it. Had you not actually seen it you would have sworn it was a lie.

“Shit!” you hissed as he came closer and you tried to take off so as to give him a little chase but it was no use. He was on you in an instant and he took you with him, soaring over the ice, as he grabbed you and refused to let go.  
“I caught you,” he grumbled in your ear.  
“You did,” you gasped as you finally came to a halt in the middle of the lake. Far from the others.

He held you as you caught your breath, in awe of the man before you.  
“I believe a kiss is in order,” he growled and you smiled as your cheeks turned rosy - not form he cold any longer but from him. You leaned up and smacked your lips to his. He hummed in delight and you felt the love he poured into you through the connection.

“I still can’t believe you skate,” you mumbled when the kiss was broken. He gave you a huff with a half-smile.  
“I am quite good at it you know.”  
“Oh I know, gliding around like that, quite god indeed,” you said with a small attempt at sounding just like him. He glared at you.  
“What? You glide around, kids can do that,” you said with a shrug. Now, you were lying. You knew you were lying as Severus didn’t just _glide around_ , he owned the ice and commanded every inch of his body with grace. You knew that. But oh, you could not help but taunt him a little. Just a tad, a smidge, a tiny tiny bit.

“I’ll show you,” he said, “gliding around, pfft,” he murmured as he turned away from you.  
“I expect you to never bother me with this skating nonsense ever again after this!” His voice was a loud growl that vibrated through you. You sighed at the sensation but laughed a little at his tone.  
“Whatever you’re up to, I can’t make such a promise!” you called towards him and he huffed out some more air that turned foggy white.

Time stood utterly still. There was no wind. No shouting our laughter from the students. There was only one single sound. As if the world had stopped to marvel in the splendour that was Severus skating. Really skating. You could barely breathe as you watched him. He held such speed and grace as he skated around a large area with intricate movements, dips and spins. It was bizarre.

The man who usually looked as though he had a stick up his ass was pure grace embodied. You gasped as he did a Salchow jump and after he landed ever so smoothly he went into a perfect Spiral. He was grace, power, strength - he was everything and you were absolutely fuming as he skated back towards you and did a perfect halt that sprayed you down with ice shavings.

“You!” you growled, “You have been holding out on me!” You were truly fuming. Ice skating was something you loved and here stood the man you loved after having done an exceptional performance despite the fact he had refused and refused and REFUSED to skate with you every single damn year.

He sneered and chuckled.  
“I told you I can skate.”  
“Oh, you bastard of a man! You can’t skate! You’re a fucking expert at it and you’ve been holding out on me!” You snarled as you pushed his chest. Not hard but just enough so he’d feel it. He chuckled.  
“Sweetheart, you love skating and I am very good at it. Do you honestly think you would have had so much fun skating if you knew how good I am? do you think, for a moment, you would have laughed so freely as I watched you spin around in wobbly circles and skate in wonky lines had you know how good I am?”

You looked at him, you were fuming and so damn in love with the man you barely knew what to say. So you just glared at him.  
“Sweetheart, you never do things that I am good at. If you find out I am good at something you stop doing that thing. Like with the potions, the muggle history books, even cooking.” He stroked your cheek and you softened for him.  
“I enjoy watching you smile and laugh, I do not want to be the reason you stop with things you love,” he whispered and you couldn’t be mad at him any longer for holding out on you. He was right, the bastard was right and you damn well knew it.

“Sometimes I hate that you know me so well,” you grumbled softly. He smiled and tipped your head back with a cold finger under your chin.  
“Sometimes you love how well I know you,” he purred and your cheeks flushed as you very well knew what he was referring to.  
“Severus-”  
“Promise me you will not stop skating.” You looked at him and he seemed almost fearful.

“(y/n), promise me. I do not want to be a reason you let go of things you love.” You gave him a soft smile, your eyes watered slightly as you kissed him tenderly. The love he had for you was so strong and he allowed you to berate him, tease him, despite the fact he did so well on the ice. Just for you to be happy and keep skating.  
“I promise if you promise to skate with me every year?” He chuckled and kiss you while he promised to do just that.

When the kiss ended you leaned into him as he held you tightly.  
“Sev, do you like to skate?” you asked, he must have had quite an amount of practice to skate so well.  
“I do, I enjoy it immensely.” Those words just made you love him even more.  
“Then enjoy it with me, skate with me,” you whispered into his cloak covered chest and he gave your forehead a quick kiss.  
“Let’s go then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I LOVE this prompt and I had so much fun writing this! :D I can’t even imagine the rumours that would go around at Hogwarts after a display such as this xD Gosh, I might have to write something about that at some point xD


	9. Snowballs [8]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 8. Snowballs
> 
> A/N: So this one is just pure fun. I just wanted to write something that would hopefully make you laugh, or at least smile xD ^^ Please, tell me your favourite part/line in the comments :D
> 
> Setting: Hogwarts Grounds, Snowball fight among students in the courtyard
> 
> Characters: Snape, McGonagall, Filch, Flitwick (early years, Snape is about 23-25)

“Take that!” A snowball came wooshing through the air, the girl it was aimed for ducked just in time.  
“You!” she hollered and threw a snowball back at the boy. He jumped to the side and it hit the back of a Slytherin girl.  
“What the- oh you Gryffindors!” she snarled and threw a snowball back. It smacked the girl right in the face and she fell backwards just as the courtyard was filling up with students walking between classes.

“OH IT’S ON!” the Gryffindor girl shrieked as she gathered snow.  
“IT’S WAR!” the Slytherin girl screamed as she did the same. Students took sides, Gryffindors an Hufflepuffs on one side, Slytherins on the other with a few Ravenclaws as well while others just watched the unfurling of a full-on snowball war between the houses.

Commands were shouted, snowballs were made and thrown. It was chaos. And what usually happens when there is chaos? Accidents.

A snowball flew through the air at a high velocity just as the teachers marched out to clear of the ongoing battle. It hit Snape right in the face with a harsh splat. The whole courtyard froze. Everyone stood still as snow fell from Snape’s face and his eyes burned with rage.

“50 points from Gryffindor!” he roared as the snowball had come from that side of the courtyard.  
“Now, hold on Severus,” McGonagall said as she came up behind the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff students, “it was just a snowball.” Snape sneered at McGonagall.

The students remained still and quiet.  
“Oh really?” Snape purred. McGonagall’s eyes bulged.  
“Now, hold on just a moment Sev-” _*smack*_ McGonagall’s face was hidden behind a splat of snow. She wiped it off with her hand in one swipe.

“You- you disrespectful-”  
“Now, now, Minerva,” Severus purred, “it was just a snowball.” He threw her words back at her and McGonagall seemed to explode.  
“Just a snowball? _Just a snowball?!_ ” she thundered with that high pitched voice of hers. Severus gave her a malicious grin.

“Oh, I have had enough of this!” McGonagall shouted, “this is no time to play!” The students watched the bickering between the teachers. Unaware that Snape had in fact already summoned a heap of new snowballs. _This ought to shut the old cat up._ With non-verbal magic, he began to throw them at the students belonging to Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. And McGonagall. 

“Severus! Enough!”  
“Oh I’m not doing anything, it’s my clever students,” Snape purred and McGonagall’s face turned red. She glared at him as he smiled wickedly.  
“Oh this is WAR!” she roared and the students cheered on her side of the courtyard.  
“Damn right it is!” Snape called back before he roared at the student to attack with all their strength.

“Flitwick, more snowballs!” McGonagall shrieked, “Abernathy, throw harder! Flake, throw longer!” she commanded as the gryffpuff side rolled into action.  
“Not so fast!” Snape roared back before he turned to his students, “are you Slytherins or not?! Throw the damn snowballs!” he hissed and wicked smiles spread out.  
“How hard?” a broadly shouldered boy said as he bounced a snowball up and down in his hand.  
“As hard as you can, McRoy.” The boy smiled.  
“You hear the professor boys and gals, it’s on!”

Snowballs flew left and right, students and professors ducked as they tried to avoid them.  
“Professor! What are you doing on their side?!” a girl cried out, her robes in Ravenclaw colours. Flitwick seemed embarrassed and at a loss for words as McGonagall commanded him left and right. Snape chuckled.  
“He’s chosen the weak side,” he growled and the girl seemed horrified by it.  
“Let’s show him how clever his students really is, no?” The girl nodded, seemingly pissed off at her own head of house and Snape was clever enough to use it.

And boy oh boy did his side do well. As he Slytherins used their brute strength and rallied themselves by their pure ambition to win the Ravenclaws used their wits to throw balls that curved and split into several. Some even went so far as to throw chasing spells on the snowballs so they would find their targets no matter what.

“Clever, very clever!” McGonagall screamed with huffing breaths.  
“What’s the matter little kitty? Lost your spirit?” Snape chuckled out and Minerva seemed to get even more infuriated as she herself began to throw snowballs using magic.

Snape sneered, _oh, playing hardcore now, are we? Well, two can play that game._ Snape waved over three Slytherins.  
“Take the flanks, use non-verbal magic, pound them.” The rather large boys smiled wickedly at Snape’s command. He gave them a very tight smile and off they went. He was just about to partake himself when a familiar voice rang out over the courtyard in an echoing pant.

“Students throwing snowballs! Students at the courtyard throwing snowballs!” Filch called out as he ran in a weird fashion with a hand on his chest and Mrs Norris hot on his tale.  
“ _THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO THROW SNOWBALLS YOU BLUBBERING IDIOT!_ ” McGonagall screamed at the poor man who looked utterly confused at the strange scene.  
“Sorry, mam’” he sighed as he looked out over the courtyard that had paused at his arrival. Everyone was looking at the scabby man; throws were frozen mid-air.

Filch threw and threw, by Merlin did he have good aim for such a scrawny looking arm and half-open eyes. He had put Mrs Norris to work as well, she stroked around behind enemy lines so the students fell as they stumbled with her jumping between their legs. Students shouted, professors commanded and snowballs flew in a flurry.

“Well don’t just stand there! Help! Get more snowballs Mr Filch!” McGonagall chided. Filch looked at her and then at Snape; who smiled at the man who he had actually grown quite close to during his school years.  
“Sorry mam’, my allegiance is spoken for,” Mr Filch stated and he hurried over to Snape who smiled triumphantly at McGonagall who seemed to be quite near a complete explosion at that.

“Welcome to the winning side, Argus,” Snape said with a smile and Filch nodded as Mrs Norris stroked Snape’s legs, “Attack!” Snape roared in a thunder of command and the snowballs flew yet again as students screamed at the opposite side to ‘take that’ and 'run away loser’ paired with some laughs and screams as snowballs hit their intended targets.

McGonagall had hauled din more students from among the onlookers. Snape had not, he did not force anyone to participate but boy oh boy did he get the ones engaging to fight as if it were life or death.

A snowball hit him right on his hooked nose with a thudding splat. McGonagall laughed and that had been the final straw. Snape made snowballs rain down on the enemies. Wave after wave of snowballs until there was so much snow they could no longer move.  
“VICTORY!” shouted the slytherclaw side with joyous glee as they jumped around while howling with laughter at the losing side. Snape gave McGonagall a wicked smile before he walked over.

“Just a snowball, was it?” he drawled on a chuckle.  
“Oh alright, fine! Now get us out of here,” McGonagall shrieked.  
“I believe a reward should be given for such a great achievement.” Snape smiled as he straightened and looked towards his side of the courtyard.  
“100 points to Slytherin,” he said and the students clad in green colours cheered, “and 100 points to Ravenclaw,” he continued and the few students that had participated on his side of the snowball war beamed at him.

“Yes yes, whoopie-do for you,” McGonagall muttered, “now get us out of here,” she continued and Snape vanished the snow with a swirling motion of his wand that set lose a controlled flame that melted the snow without burning anything else.  
“Fabulous, now I’m soaked.” McGonagall took out her own wand and dried herself as best she could before she told the student’s to get changed before next class.

Everyone filed out with loud talk of epic snow battles and awesome teachers. Snape could not help but chuckle, but as he moved his eyes to his college she angrily tapped her foot and glared at him.

“We do not teach students to battle in this way,” she chided.  
“Oh, well you could have ended it at any moment, Minerva. We all know that, don’t pretend you didn’t have fun.” Snape arched a brow towards her and she huffed.  
“I will not admit that this is the most fun I have had in years, and I will definitely not admit that it was thanks to you. And I will most certainly, under no circumstances, admit that I’m hoping it’s a new tradition at Hogwarts.” Snape laughed out loud as McGonagall walked away with her head held high and a strut to her steps.

"Come on, Argus. Let's get inside," Snape said as Filch stepped up to him with Mrs Norris in his arms, "No need to clean this up, it's just snow. It will sort itself out." Filch seemed relieved at Snape's words and gave the young man a grin that showcased his yellowing teeth.  
"You did a good one here lad," he said and Snape nodded with a smile at the man before they both strode in tot he castle with a victorious air about them as the rumours had already started to spread around Hogwarts. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this one and had fun while reading it! :D Please, please tell me your favourite part/line in a comment - it would make my day! :D
> 
> As you can see I’m working on not doing too long fics as there is no way I’d be able to do all of Snapemas if I write 4k+ fics xD I’m not very good at it though; I always feel as if there should be more - but it’s good practice! :D


	10. Fever [9]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 9. Fever
> 
> A/N: I’m writing a lot of fluffy stuff for one who is not that good at it xD Well, it’s Christmas, a fluffy Holiday.
> 
> Setting: Spinner’s End, Severus Home
> 
> Pairing: Snape x Reader
> 
> ABBR.: │(y/n) - Your Name │

**“No, no,** stay down,” Severus murmured as you tried to get out if the comfy bed.  
“You have a fever, you need to rest.” You huffed at his words, your forehead slick with sweat.  
“I have things to do,” you grumbled, “the house isn’t going to decorate itself you know.” Snape arched a brow at you as he sighed deeply.

He had been caring for you for nearly three days as your fever seemed to climb ever higher no matter what he did. He was worried, you could tell, but you hated to see him in such a state. _If I could only get out of this bed,_ you thought as your body shook on a deep shiver.  
“Are you cold?” he asked as he placed a damp rag on your forehead. It felt wonderful.  
“I’m alright.”  
“You are not alright, (y/n). Far from it,” he grumbled and you could not help but feel bad for your beloved.

He had things to do, essays to grade and potions to brew. Yet he had spent nearly all his time out of the classroom with you. Using the Floo Network to go from Hogwarts to Spinner’s End and back. Over and over. He kept you warm, kept you as dry as possible and made sure you ate properly as the fever had taken away all your hunger. You were cold, sweaty and absolutely exhausted. Yet the only thing you could think of was getting out of the large bed to decorate the house and make him less worried.

You hated to see him worried. hated to be the source of that worry and you absolutely detested taking his time with such nonsense as a fever. _Who even gets a fever from just being out shovelling snow? It’s ridiculous!_ You turned over to lay on your side as you berated yourself for your rather weak body. Not that you could do anything about it, but still.

**It was** dark outside when you woke up the next time. You shivered and your teeth clattered despite the room being hot and the covers thick. You felt as everything was in a bit of a haze but the sweat that clung to your skin was inescapable. You twisted and turned, desperate to find some sort of dry spot to curl up in.

You heard the door creek open and felt his presence before you heard or saw him.  
“(y/n)?” he whispered and you moaned, unable to get any words out as they seemed stuck below a thick lump in your throat.  
“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he whispered softly and you felt his arm snake in under your shoulder blades and knees before he lifted you up.

The bathwater was warm and smelled faintly of herbs. The heat curled around you and it felt like bliss to get rid of the sticky sweat that clung to every inch of you.  
“Your fever is getting worse,” Severus mumbled and you heard the worry that poisoned his otherwise thunderous voice. Oh, how you loved that voice of his. To hear it stained by concerned tugged at your heart; and not in a good way.

“I’ll- I’ll be alright,” you huffed out as your teeth still clattered with a loud rattle.  
“I know you will, I know.” Severus kissed the top of your head before he softly scrubbed you down and then washed your hair with tender fingers. You hummed a bit and he chuckled. Not his usual chuckle, it was more subdued but at least he made a noise that was happy.

“Come on, up we go,” Severus said as he helped you out of the tub. He dried you off as you sat on a little chair, your legs too weak to carry your weight for any length of time. The plush towel felt like a soft cloud and you tried to enjoy the moment despite the sweat already reappearing.  
“Let’s get you back to bed,” he said as he lifted you and held you tightly pressed against his chest. Your head pounded and the robe he had wrapped you in didn’t do anything against the shivers.

The sheets were changed and you were once again curled up under the heavy cover. Severus’s hand stroked your forehead gently. You felt it, but barely. Your mind was disconnected from your body in a way that only a very high fever could achieve. You heard that he said something but you could not quite make out the words and then the reassuring strokes were gone and the room felt empty.

Something warm slipped down your throat as Severus tipped your head back. Another potion. Another try at disarming the fever. You heard him mumble and grumble yet you couldn’t open your eyes or answer him. You had no power over your own body. The fever was too high and too strong. But you felt his presence. Felt the love that radiated from him. Felt his hand wrapped around yours.

**You drifted** in and out of consciousness as the fever peak and dwindled, peaked and dwindled. but Severus was always by your side when you came to. You found it odd, you knew he had lessons to teach and things to do. Yet it seemed his hand was constantly wrapped around your own. Your sheets changed often and your forehead dabbed with a moist rag.

“Severus..?” you mumbled as you came to. But this time you were more clear and awake than you had been in a long time. The fact that your hand felt naked and exposed only woke you up more.  
“Severus?” you said again as you slowly opened your eyes. But he was not there. You looked around but you were alone in the bedroom. But the fire was still sparkling in the fireplace so he could not have been gone for long.

You stretched, felt your stiff body loosened a bit. A few pops were heard from your back and neck as you sat up and stretched your hands forward to bend out the kinks that had been created from laying down for a long time. How long? You had no idea how many days had passed. Outside snow was falling in the morning light.

You felt rested, fresher. You took a moment to really get a sense of how your body was feeling. You still had a fever, but it was low. Your headache was gone and the hazy sense had vanished. the world seemed clear again. you weren’t shivering and your body wasn’t covered in yucky sweat any longer.

You pulled off the cover and smiled at yourself as Severus had dressed you in one of his large shirts of the softest cotton. Your hand stroked the fabric that covered your chest. It smelled ever so faintly of him, sage and peppermint. A divine smell if anyone asked you. Your feet slipped into your slippers, the bunny ones that were soft as a cloud and kept your feet toasty warm.

You padded out of the room and through the hallway on the first floor. As you reached the stairs you could hear him move about downstairs. The softest of Christmas music could be heard drift through the house and the rattle of ornaments. You smiled as your eyes teared up. The staircase was decorated in lovely Christmas lights and holly. You stroked it as you stepped down.

You skipped the last step of the stairs, it always creaked and you wanted to see what Severus was up to. He was humming, yes humming, as you sneaked over to the living room. You peeked in and saw him hanging garlands sprinkled with shimmering glitter and silver bows tied to them. He was standing in the middle of the room as he worked with swift movements of his wand to decorate the whole house it seemed.

A delicious smell wafted towards you from the kitchen, but you didn’t follow it. You were too enthralled by your beloved. you had never heard him hum and you most certainly had never seen him smile while he decorated for such a silly thing (his words) like Christmas. Yet, there he was smiling, humming and decorating swiftly yet thoroughly.

He stopped the moment he spotted you.  
“You’re up,” he said as he nearly ran over to you, “how are you feeling?” You smiled at him as he searched your face for any signed of sickness. He found none apparently has his smile was tender and warm, happy. As if he was relieved. He most likely was as he had obviously been extremely worried for you.  
“I’m good,” you answered as you rested your head against his chest. His heart softly thudded against your cheek and it felt lovely. He held you tightly and the joy you felt because he had decorated for you - only when he obviously had felt you were safe - made your entire body tingle with warmth.


	11. Slippery Slope [10]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 10. Slippery slope
> 
> A/N: So, this became something completely different from what I had in mind O.O I had in mind a cute fluffy thing about 600 words long. Well, that didn’t happen… xD
> 
> Setting: Hogsmeade
> 
> Pairing: Snape x Reader
> 
> ABBR.: │(y/l/n) - Your Last Name │(y/n) - Your Name │

You had just stepped out of the little tea shop, a little pink bag dangled in your hand, as you grasped your coat so as to tighten it around your exposed neck. _Sure is windy,_ you thought as you shivered and hurried along the little road that wined and twisted through the small town. You stepped carefully, avoided as much ice as possible as you strutted along - eager to get home and out of the cold. Your house laid just across the little stone bridge and over the tiny hill.

The wind made your hair whip around your face as you crossed the little bridge with your face a bit tilted down so as not to get too cold from the wind that really was starting to bite. You shivered yet again and your legs wobbled a bit when your feet landed on a shiny fleck of ice.  
“Whow!” You exhaled as you managed to stay on your feet, “that’s was close.”

You managed to get at the top of the hill despite the ice and a few near falls.  
“Well, that went well,” you said with a slight smile and boy, oh boy were you wrong. You took another step and you lost your footing, “no, no, no, no, no, NO!” You started sliding backwards. Your arms were stretched out wide and your legs wobbled as you tried to stay upright with all your might.

You slid backwards and down the little hill. The ice was as slippery as it could possibly be.  
“Oh- no, no, no-!” You accidentally leaned too far back and just as you were about to fall; two strong hands grabbed each one of your upper arms in a sturdy grip and you halted completely.  
“Thank you, thank-” you gushed until you saw who had caught you. Your previous professor. The Potions Master at Hogwarts. The dungeon bat as many called him.

You stiffened instantly, _this can’t be true!_ He arched a brow at you, a hint of a sneer on his face.  
“One usually walks _up_ the hill,” he stated with that growling voice, “not going backwards down it, Ms/Mr (y/l/n).” Your cheeks blushed and you thanked the heavens for the cold that had already made them quite red. The fact he still remembered your name was too much of joy even for yourself to admit.  
“I, it’s slippery,” you stuttered out as he raised you up and planted you firmly back on your feet. You wobbled for a moment and then found your balance.

As you straightened his onyx eyes pierced yours. They were harsh and cold, yet a warmth laid there. Somewhere beneath it all.  
“Thank you, professor,” you said with a try at a smile.  
“Try not to slip, I’ll take my leave then, Ms/Mr (y/l/n),” he simply stated with a curt nod and you found yourself not actually wanting him to go. The fact that you had had a crush on the older man your last two years of Hogwarts seemed to rally some sort of emotion in you. The crush was very much still alive it appeared. You thought you had gotten over it, but perhaps merely not seeing him every day for the last one and a half years simply muted the emotions that now blossomed yet again.

You had no time to utter any words before the man clad in the darkest of black stomped off with long strides. Up the very hill you had just slid down, _I must have looked so clumsy…_ The thought made you sigh as you watched the cloud of black fabric climb the hill with easy strides. _Maybe I should warn him about the top?_  
“Prof-” But you had no time to say anything else. He slipped, his arms flailed out as if he were indeed a bat and in the next instant he was laying on his back at the top of the hill.

The sheer force it took not to burst out laughing was extreme and you had to cover your mouth with your hand. In your defence, it had looked hilarious.  
“Are you alright?” you called up towards the man who apparently was trying to get up. You heard mutterings of swear words as you looked on with an amused smile as professor Snape tried to get up yet kept landing firmly back on the ice every time.

“Would you like me to-”  
“By Merlin!” Snape roared out as he started to slide backwards. You gawked and stared as he slid down, down down - he picked up speed as he went and noise of some strange sort erupted from him as he flailed around with his arms and legs. It was a sight, a hilarious sight. So you laughed until he ended up with his head right at your feet.

You peered down at him as you tried to contain your laughter.  
“I thought one should walk up the hill, professor? Not slide backwards down it, silly.” He sneered and glared at you. His hair dusted with snow and he seemed quite unamused by the whole thing but you simply could not help the laughter that bubbled through you.  
“At least I was standing, Mr Back-Sledge,” You laughed at your own joke as Snape seemed to turn red - from embarrassment or anger you didn’t know. But he was no longer your professor and could no nothing about your behaviour. No detentions or deductions of points. He was just a man on the street now.

“Will you help me up or shall I simply lay here until you have quit your laughing?” he growled at you and you tried to stifle the laughter to a chuckle.  
“Sorry, here,” you held out your hand and he grabbed it. A bolt of energy surged through you as his cold skin made contact with your slightly warmer. You helped him up and straightened out his cloak. You peered up at him as you bit your lip to not burst out laughing again as his hair was a complete mess.

“Umh, here, I’ll just…” You reached up and dusted off the snow before you allowed your fingers to drag through the inky black strands so as to lay it a bit more flatly. Once you were done you looked at him rather than his hair and he looked dumbfounded. Shocked even. _Perhaps, that was stupid…_ You scolded yourself as you knew just how private Snape was and how he appeared to loath anyone touching him in any way.

But, had he not just asked you for help? He had. Had he not reached his hand for yours? He had. So why was he starring at you as if you had three heads like Fluffy? _Why isn’t he saying anything?_ You stared at him and tried to smile. IT turned out a little tight but at least it was a smile.  
“Maybe _you_ should try not to slip,” you said as an attempt at getting away from the awkward silence.

Snape chuckled and you felt like the world tipped. The man never smiled or chuckled or laughed - not for as long as you had known him. He sneered, he smirked, he growled and huffed. Yes, but never did he show emotions of happiness. At least you had never seen or heard it.  
“I shall do my utmost not to,” he said and his voice was softer than you had ever heard it. _There seems to be plenty of things I’m unaware of…_ You thought as you looked at Snape. His eyes warmer, his posture not as ramrod straight and there was a different vibe to him. Something was softer.

“Well, I best be on my way,” you said as the wind yet again made your hair whip around and it easily clawed its way through your clothes.  
“Where to?” he asked and you tilted your head, perplexed at the question.  
“Home,” you pointed up towards the hill, “I live just at the other side,” you told him with a smile. He nodded.   
“Perhaps, we should assist one another over that treacherous hill?” Heat filled your stomach has he offered his aid, and for you to assist him.   
“That, that might be a good idea,” you agreed. He held out his arm and you slipped yours around it. It felt sturdy, strong.

“Ready?” you asked and he nodded. You began the slippery climb, holding on to each other. IT went better, you wobbled a few times, a slipped once yet you both managed to get up and past that spot of ice that had had you both slipping backwards down the hill. _At least I was on my feet, oh I’ll never get that image out of my head!_ You chuckled and you felt him tense ever so slightly.

“Well, that went rather well,” you stated as he released your arm. You felt instantly colder and less sturdy without the stability and closeness he offered.  
“I guess this is where we part?” you said, a tad disappointed as yous tod at the crossing. To the right was the path back to Hogwarts and to the left was the little road leading to the few houses that laid alongside it as it slithered through the forest and fields.

“What do you have there?” he asked, apparently avoiding what you had said. You lifted the little pin bag.  
“Oh, tea, from Kettle & Cup,” you answered, “I ran out this morning and can’t have a proper reading time without a cup of tea.”  
“You only have one type of tea at home?” He seemed rather confused at that, you laughed.  
“Goodness no, but this particular tea is for cold winter days.” You opened the bag to show him the little box labelled with ‘Kettle & Cup - Peppermint Honey, Red Tea’.

He smiled, ever so slightly. He fumbled around in his robes for a moment and then held out an identical box. You laughed yet again.  
“Seems we have good taste,” you said with that wide smile of yours and he nodded.  
“Appears so, care to share a kettle?” he asked and you instantly stopped smiling.  
“With you?” He seemed to readjust for a moment, he straightened and stiffened.  
“I understand you do not wish-” You placed a hand on his arm to silence him.  
“I would love to,” you said and the smile was back as your heart pounded in your chest.

His brows rose as he seemed shocked yet again.  
“Really?”  
“Absolutely!” You grabbed his arm and started to haul him towards your house.  
“Why?” he asked as if he could not for the life of him understand why you would share a pot of tea with the man. The man you found intriguing, stunning and lovely despite his stiffness and the usual sneer.  
“Oh, why not? Tea is best when it’s shared.” You just gave him a smile, but your heart thundered and you cursed yourself for not having cleaned the house in over a week. Christmas cleaning was supposed to get done the upcoming weekend but now, well now you wished you had done it last weekend.

Snape followed you, you both walked in silence. Only the distinct noise of snow under your boots and the howling of the wind was heard. It was oddly comfortable; the silence between you both. You didn’t know what to say en your old professor seemed just as lost in thought as you were of words. _No matter, some tea and cookies will sort that out._

“Well, here we are,” you said with a small smile as you stood before the gate to the little cottage you called home. It wasn’t big or grand, wasn’t well kept or completely whole. But it was yours. You had moved in a mere month earlier as you found a job at a little apothecary in Hogsmeade.  
“It, suits you,” Snape said and you couldn’t quite tell if that was a compliment or not.  
“I moved in last month, haven’t had time to do much but I hope you’ll find it comfortable enough for a cup of tea.”

Your cheeks heated as you showed him in. You had at least unpacked everything and had gotten somewhat sorted just a few days earlier.  
“Can I take your cloak?” you offered but Snape merely arched a brow before he hung it himself and with a wave of his wand all snow and moisture vanish from his shoes. You switched your boots to indoor slippers as the floorboards were old and rather drafty.

“Come in, make yourself at home.” You headed off toward the kitchen, your heart hammered in your chest as your mind raced. Snape, your crush, was in your home and it made you more than nervous. But you weren’t the kind of person to let that show. Or make you a bad host. So you set about with the kettle to make the tea as promised.

“It’s lovely.” You jumped at his words as his voice was so close.  
“You scared me,” you giggled on a sigh, “thank you. It’s not done but it’ll get there eventually.” Snape nodded as you smiled at him before his gaze swept over the kitchen and little dining area.  
“How do you take your tea? Lemon? Sugar? Milk?” Snape turned towards you,  
“That would depend on the tea, Ms/Mr (y/l/n). This tea, plain.” You nodded at his words.  
“You can call me (y/n), if you want, professor.” You didn’t dare look at him while you asked to be called by your given name and he remained quiet for so long you thought he had left the room. You sighed. _Well, maybe he-_  
“Severus, you may call med Severus. If you wish it, (y/n).”

To hear his voice vocalize your name made your knees weak and you had to hold on to the sink so as not to crash to the floor in a heap.  
“Severus,” you said as you turned. The man nearly hit his head in the low ceiling beams. You smiled at him, again. It just happened, you couldn’t control it. Around him, you were just all smiles and thundering heart paired with weak knees and burning cheeks.  
“What cup would you like? I have a few,” you said as you pointed toward a cupboard where you had placed all your collectable cups. They weren’t actually for use - but with him in your home for a cup of tea, you wanted to make sure he was satisfied.

He walked over and your eyes lingered on him for a bit too long.  
“May I use anyone?” he asked and you nodded with a chirpy hum. He seemed to ponder for a long time. _Well, it is a rather large collection of cups and mugs,_ you thought as the kettle screamed behind you. You set about making the pot of tea as you heard the distinct sound of cups being placed on the table. As you turned you tilted your head.

He had not chosen any of the cups among your collection. No, he had taken the regular cups from the regular cupboard right beside the one you had pointed out.  
“You do not need to use such fine things for me, (y/n). I am perfectly happy with these.” You gave him a shy smile and walked over with the pot.  
“I don’t mind if you use my collected cups. Sometimes I feel bad for them, sitting there, not being used.” You sighed with a quick look at the many cups visible through the glass adorned cupboard.

You both sat down as you had poured the tea. It smelled lovely, rather like he did. Peppermint and honey. But he also smelled faintly of sage and some delicate fragrance that you could only place as being him. Only him. The fact that you sat so close you could smell him did little to ease the nerves you felt bundled in your chest. You wanted to ask him how he was, how Hogwarts was and what he thought of you. But you didn’t dare ask him anything.

While you were his student he never really liked questions and you weren’t sure how he felt about it outside oft he classroom either. You glanced towards him as he sipped his tea. A bit of his throat was visible above the cravat and your fingers twitched as you wanted to touch him. The pale, large hand with the slender fingers that held the cup were just as inviting to stroke.

_Pull yourself together! By Merlin he’s not interested in you, just, have tea and enjoy it you nimrod._ Snape tilted his head towards you and you gave him another smile before you sipped your tea.  
“Are you alright? Do you have a fever?”  
“What? No, I’m quite fine, why?”  
“Your red.” You knew he was right, your face, throat, chest and ears felt as if they were burning. Simply because he was so close, so near. Yet so damn far away.

“Oh, it’s probably just the difference in temperature from outside,” you said sheepishly and he arched a brow at you.  
“I do not believe so,” he stated as he put down his cup, “are you sure you’re alright?”  
“Yes, yes, I’m quite good actually.” _Oh boy, this is a slippery slope, I shouldn’t have invited him, I shouldn’t have-_  
“I can leave if you wish?”

Your eyes grew wider as you felt his presence in your head. It was quite the intrusion and memories creeped out as if he were looking for something among your thoughts.  
“Severus, what are you-, don’t do that!” You screamed as you stood up but he didn’t let go of your mind as memories of him ran by. Longing looks in the Great Hall, lingering steps in the classroom, stolen glances in the corridors. Your secrets were there for him to see and it made you sick to your stomach.

“Get out of my head!” you screamed and as if he had not heard you before he twitched and shook his head. As if he had fallen down a rabbit hole and just now had been able to crawl out of it.  
“(y/n), I’m sor-”  
“Get out! Get out of my head and get out of my home!” you screamed as your lungs heaved. You were angry, hurt and so confused. Why had he done that to you?  
“(y/n), I’m sorry, I slipped in, I didn’t-, but you, what was that? Why do you have such memories?”

Your face turned even more red as his piercing only eyes seemed to cut right through you and you couldn’t avert your gaze. You were spellbound by him.  
“Tell me, why do you have such memories?”  
“Get. Out,” you said in a cold voice as he had just penetrated your mind and invaded your privacy so deeply. But to be honest, that was not what scared you.

You knew he could do that, knew he was skilled in the art of Occlumency and you knew he was expertly good at finding what he was searching for. Why had he done it? You had no idea. Why were you scared? Because he would most likely feel disgusted about your passion for him. You were younger than him, less experienced in life and absolutely not up to scratch compared to the glorious man that sat at your kitchen table.

“Tell me, why do you have such memories?” He said again, his voice low as a growl and strong as thunder. _Great, I made him mad. This is just terrific, no, wait, I’M MAD!_  
“Just leave!” you said harshly, pleadingly. As you felt the tears prick at the back of your eyes. He rose from the chair and took the one step he needs to be close to you have you had apparently stood up at some point.

“Why do you have-”  
“You have memories because you have experienced something, you dumbass!” you screamed in irritation. He seemed shocked at your language and outburst.  
“You have experienced this? fond thought of me? Smiles because of me? Long gazes and secret glances, at me?” You huffed at his words.  
“Well you saw it, you already know it now please leave so I can be mortified in solitude,” you said as you deflated.

“Oh, I do not think so you little devil. Here I was, thinking I was to be alone forever as the one whom I grew fond of graduated and left. Not a word afterwards. And here you are, telling me you felt for me what I felt for you.” You simply stared at him. You found no words for what he confessed to you. _I am obviously running a very high fever,_ was the only thing you could think of.

But his cold fingers under your chin snapped you out of that thought instantly.  
“Why have you been hiding it? As a student, I understand. But why now?” He asked and you just gawked at him.  
“Are you kidding me? your Snape, _the_ professor Snape. Like, how was I supposed to get close to you? Talk with you? You’re way out of my league and I’d be damned to hell fore I confessed my passion for you. I, I don’t stand a chance in your life…”

You had imagined so many times what type of partners he could have had, what type of love he shared with other people and how you were absolutely not up to scratch.  
“I’m just me, and you’re you, Severus.” The words were harsh and it made you feel sad. Sad all the way through.  
“Just you?”  
“Yes, just me,” you answered on a sigh.   
“You are _just_ wonderful? _Just_ fantastic? _Just_ beautiful? I do not see how that puts you below me in any way, shape or form.” His voice rumbled over you as it shook you to your core. _Does that mean? does he-, no, no way that he feels for me as I do for him. That would, well that would just be too good to be true._

“Did you not notice?” You looked up at him at those words.  
“Notice what?” you asked. A bit dumbfounded by his question.  
“(y/n), really? The lonesome detentions that were really questionable for reason? The many times I called upon you to answer the questions I asked? The many, many times I walked past in the hallways and always seemed to be a bit too close perhaps?” You gawked at him.  
“I, I didn’t think-”  
“Obviously. Perhaps I should have been more clear? Perhaps a neon sign? Or a howler in the Great Hall?” You stared at him, _is he, is he joking? Like actually making jokes?_

“I, don’t know what to say…”  
“Well, I could just look inside that pretty head of yours again,” you glared at him at that, “but I’d much rather hear the words from you.” You sighed at him, he was being mean. On purpose. Teasing you like that. But you actually didn’t mind. Somehow it made you feel special.  
“I like you,” you whispered. The words were heavy yet liberating and you had never uttered them aloud before. not even to yourself. It had always only been in your head.

But now, with him in your kitchen, the tea going cold in your cups and him having seen what you had hidden deep within yourself you felt a need to say them. Especially as he seemed to house the same feeling towards you.  
“I’m glad, as I am rather fond of you as well,” he whispered and you could not help but feel the joy that spread through you. _All because of a slippery slope,_ you thought and the image of Severus gliding down on his back, limbs flailing and completely dusted with snow made you giggle.


	12. Lanterns [11]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 11. Lanterns
> 
> A/N: I had an idea, and then it turned out completely different as usual… But, I do think this turned out better than it was from the beginning. There’s a surprise at the very end, something I have not written for Snapemas before - you’ll see…
> 
> Setting: Lakeside surrounded by forest
> 
> Pairing: Snape x Reader

Snow covered the ground, you were sat on a blanket with a heating charm as Severus had invited you to the lakeside. It was quiet and still, the sky clear and dusted with stars. The white light of the moon made the frozen lake shimmer and glitter. You warmed your hands by holding a cup of hot chocolate. Steam rose from it and you sighed in a comfortable manner; waiting for your beloved to come.

Time ticked and ticked, you waited and waited. _Where is he?_ It wasn’t like him to be late and you were starting to worry if something had happened. But just as you were rising to go look for him a little lantern appeared before you. It swayed and shined in front of you; floating mid-air.

“What’s this?” you mumbled as you took a step closer to the glowing object. It swayed and started to drift off towards the forest a little ways away. You instantly followed. A feeling in your gut told you you were meant to. As if something was calling for you; for your soul.

The lantern stopped swaying as it hung itself on a tree branch before its light faded and only the white light of the moon remained again. That’s when another one lit up, a little bit down a tiny wooden path covered in snow. You chuckled, curiosity took over and you walked towards it.

Just as you reached it its light faded and another one lit up further into the forest. You rolled your eyes but went in its direction. Lantern after lantern, past tree after tree and into the growing darkness of the forest you walked with hurried steps. Light, darkness, light, darkness - it just kept on leading you further and further into the forest with every light that glowed and faded.

A few minutes of walking and the light stopped glowing. There were no more lanterns as you ended up at a small clearing. The stars and moon shined through the opening between canopies and it was a breath-taking sight that awaited you.

There he was. A black shadow in the middle of the clearing. Surrounded by white snow and moonlight. _Sev…_ You smiled and heat curled through you as you took a step towards him but he stopped you with a simple tilt of his head. So you stood still, waited, wondered what he was up to.

All around the clearing lanterns started to glow. The flames flickered and the light danced over the uneven snow. It could not quite reach him, he was placed right in the middle and the light crawled towards him but never quite managed to grasp him. As if he was out of reach of light. You knew that was not the case; he was a dark man indeed but he was a good man as well. The world never felt as bright as when he was beside you.

Your fingers ached to touch him and your body felt as though it was being pulled towards him, towards the dark little spot that remained in the middle. The lanterns started to sway in unison and the light danced. It was a wonderful sight to behold. Yet your eyes were fixed upon him; he was what mattered. He was what made the world a beautiful place for you and no lanterns could ever compete with that. Could ever compete with his light.

You took a step towards him and he did not stop you at that time. But lanterns faded, the ones closest to you. Their light grew dim before it vanished. For every step, more lanterns died out and the darkness swept in as your eyes had adjusted to the brightness. But you kept walking, draw to him and incapable of being apart from him.

You saw a hint of a smile as you inched closer and then the last lanterns went out as you were a mere two steps from him.  
“(y/n),” he whispered softly, “You had me waiting,” he continued and you tilted your head. You could not quite see him as the darkness was still dense and you took another step towards him.  
“I was waiting for you,” you said a bit confused.  
“The lanterns would only appear when you felt worried for me,” he said and you could not quite understand why he would make you worry for him.

It had happened before though as if he tested you - tested your feelings for him. _Such insecurity,_ you thought on a slight sigh and you took the last step to reach him with your arms. As you did so, light exploded around you. All the lanterns brimmed with warm golden light and it reached you both. He was no longer standing in shadows all alone. You were bathed in light, together.

His arms snaked around you as he held you tightly.  
“Before you, there was, such darkness,” he whispered. You stayed quiet as he rarely spoke of feelings or his life before you, you didn’t dare interrupt.  
“Now, there is light in all things,” he kissed the top of your head tenderly, “and I do not wish to ever live apart from you.”

At those words you looked up at him, what was he getting at?  
“These lanterns, illegal as the charm may be, have a special way of reflecting one’s emotions. My emotions, currently.” You looked at him, puzzled by his words and you sensed he was getting at something but you were not quite sure what, exactly.

“Sev, I don’t understand,” you said as you eyes got stuck in his. They danced with warmth and love. The way they only did when he gazed upon you.  
“The light changes, brightness and colour. Gold for love, green for envy, blue for hate, white for hatred. There are more of course but I believe you understand.” You nodded once as you did understand.

“They go dark when it comes to fear. And fear is not something I have felt often. But when you came, I was terrified. Every day I am terrified.” You pressed your cheek against his chest as his arms became stiff around you.  
“Every day I fear you shall leave me. Every day I fear I am not worthy of such a wonder as you, (y/n).” He shuddered slightly and you held him tightly but remained quiet.

“These lanterns, they could only lead you to me if you felt my love for you. And here you are,” he said as he leaned back a bit so as to watch your face that was stroked by golden light of love.  
“So I ask you, will you stay with me? Forever?” as he spoke he released you from his grip and sunk down on one knee. In his pale hand were a blue little box. Your heart pounded like a drum as he opened it to reveal a glistening ring adorned with rubies and safires all leading up to one the figure eight made of the ring itself; the sign for eternity.

“Severus,” you breathed out with a hand at your chest as he took your other hand in his.  
“Will you marry me and make this the happiest Christmas in my life?” His voice was low and unstable yet it roared like thunder through you. You nodded as tears pricked your eyes.  
“Yes, yes, oh a thousand times yes!” The smile he rewarded you with, there was no words to describe it.

He slipped the ring on your finger before he rose. You there your arms around his neck before your lips smashed against each others.  
“I love you,” you whispered between kisses even though your lips never left his.  
“And I you, fervently.” His words made your insides melt as the lanterns burst with the warm golden light. It was as bright as a summers day; all because of your love for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do hope you liked the surprise at the end! :D <3 Christmas is slowly getting closer but we have 13 days left of Snapemas to enjoy first! You guys excited for the rest of the prompts? Which one are you looking forward to the most? :D <3


	13. Gingerbread House [12]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 12. Gingerbread House
> 
> A/N: I just couldn’t resist writing this, nothing complicated at all. Just pure cuteness and fluff I think xD This ties back to the Reader of prompt 5. Memories but no need to read that one to understand this one ^^
> 
> Setting: Your house on a little snow-covered hill
> 
> Pairing: Snape x Wife!Reader

“Just hold it steady!” Ethan screamed at William.  
“I am, I am!” William shouted back.  
“Don’t shout,” you chided as you sat next to them by the kitchen table that was currently absolutely covered in gingerbread house-parts, candy, icing and what not. Severus sat on the other side of the table, a slight grin pointed towards you. He had sat down with Jacob and Elisa, your oldest and youngest children. While you had taken the twins, Ethan and William.

Severus had beaten you to the table and therefore you got the twins to deal with. It was always a nightmare when the time came to make gingerbread houses. but it was a tradition. You had done it as a child and now you did it with your own children.

“Here, I’ll hold and you can _both_ make sure it holds together with plenty of icing,” you said as you grabbed the not so straight parts of the twins’ gingerbread house. They instantly allowed you to do so as they both found it more fun to eat the candy, throw the candy at each other and lastly make it stick to the roof of the gingerbread house with icing.

It took over an hour to build the two houses. The twins and you did one while your husband, Jacob and Elisa did one. To be honest, the latter looked way better. But the twins were lively children and it was hard for them to be still. The fact you got two houses at all was a success, to be honest. 

“There,” you said as you placed the two houses next to each other in the kitchen window you had prepared with multiple spells to make it look like it snowed, to make warm ice and dusting of un-melting snow as well as the fact you added a few mistletoes and such as well - to create the illusion of a winter wonderland in your window.  
“Looks great, dear,” Severus said as he gave your temple a kiss.

“Tea?” you asked and he nodded while a commotion was heard from the backyard where the kids were playing in the snow.  
“I will keep an eye on them,” Severus muttered before he headed off to the hallway. You heard him put on his winter coat and boots before he opened the slightly squeaky door. You looked out the window and eventually saw him come around - he was instantly pummelled with snowballs.

You watched as he played with your four lovely children, as they covered him in snowballs and eventually as he made snowballs rain down on them with some magical help.  
“Tea, right,” you murmured to yourself as you tried your best not to laugh at the battle between father and kids on the other side of the window where the gingerbread houses stood.  
“Best do some hot chocolate too, they’ll need it by the looks of it…”

A few minutes later the door was pulled open, stomping off boot-clad feet and the tugging of coats echoed between laughter and giggling. you had sat yourself down in the living room with your tea and a book.  
“There’s hot chocolate in the kitchen! Daddy will help you!” you called out and shouts of joy were heard before the cavalry ran through the hallway and into the kitchen.

“That’s mine!” You heard being shouted by Ethan.  
“Uh-uh! It’s mine! It has blue marshmallows!” William answered,  
“They both have! You have the wrong cup!” Ethan screamed back,  
“Stop it! Give it here!”   
“No, let g-” In the next instant, wailing was heard. Crying, and not the fake kind. You learned as a parent to tell the difference rather quickly.

You were on your feet as Elisa started blubbering, “mommy they broke it! Mommy Ethan and William broke it!” and you instantly knew what had happened before you even made it to the kitchen; closely followed by Severus who had slightly red cheeks from the cold outside.

The kitchen was a mess. Elisa was crying and blubbering about how the twins had broken her gingerbread house. Ethan and William were screaming that she pushed them and Jacob sat by the kitchen table with his hot chocolate without saying a word; seemingly unaffected by the whole thing. Despite it being his gingerbread house too.

You instantly comforted little Elisa, gushing and soothing as you held her.  
“Mommy they broke it!” she snivelled and wailed as only a small child could.  
“Sweetie, it’s okay, daddy will fix it. Daddy will fix it,” you said as you wiped her tears and looked towards Severus before you nodded towards the mess.

“Princess, I will fix it,” Severus said gently as he gave her cheek a little stroke before he headed over to the mess on the floor and in the window. Ethan and William stood with hanging heads as Severus gave them a harsh glare before he took out his wand and restored the gingerbread house to its former glory.

“There, see sweetie, daddy fixed it. It’s all good,” you said and Elisa dared to take a peak. she snivelled one last time before she smiled up towards Severus who crouched down with his arms open. she ran straight over and he hoisted her up.  
“Good as new,” Elisa said as her eyes locked on to the gingerbread house with the colourful candies on the roof. Severus nodded and you crossed your arms before you looked at the twins.

Ethan and William lowered their heads, you looked from one to the other.  
“We do not break things others have made, are we clear?”  
“But mom!” Ethan started but one quick look at him told him not to test his luck.  
“Yes, mommy,” the twins said in unison.  
“Apologies to Elisa and Jacob,” Severus said and the twins did. He nodded and sent them over to the kitchen table to drink their hot chocolate.

“How do you feel, Jacob?” you asked as you sat down next to him with Elisa on your other side, Severus at the head of the table and the twins on the opposite side from you.  
“I’m good, knew dad would fix it,” he said with a slight shrug, a reasonable nine-year-old indeed. You smiled at him and then asked who won the snowball fight outback. Bad move, very bad move as a chorus of who won unfolded as Severus claimed he obviously won but the children did not agree.

You merely watched and listened as tempers rose, arms began flailing and an accident was bound to happen with such commotion. But you didn’t really mind. Your family was lively but loving and as you listened to the rising voices your eyes wandered over to the gingerbread houses in their little window-winter-wonderland setting. little light twinkled from inside them and you could not help but feel joy. Despite knowing those delicate things would most likely end up being repaired several times until Christmas arrived. 


	14. Snowed In [13]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 13. Snowed In
> 
> A/N: So I got inspired by @blog4snape as she tagged me in an ask about my Snape-writing on tumblr where this was also written: “I would LOVE to see more people write about snape’s childhood and how it shaped his adulthood. I would love to see more people write about […] him getting destroyed and building himself back up not as who he was, but who he wants to be. you can see from the way his persona is just a balance of careful, precise movements and high control battling with his turbulent and feral, uncontrollable nature.”
> 
> I hope you’ll enjoy this one; it’s a long one!
> 
> Setting: A cottage in some snowy mountains
> 
> Pairing: Snape x Reader

_**Prologue:** You had found Severus three years ago, he was standing on death’s doorstep at the end of The Battle of Hogwarts. After months of hard work, he had been healed and was physically restored to his former glory. But you were in hiding, still. His fear of retribution for the actions he had done as a double agent haunted him and the fact that he was a celebrated hero after Harry Potters revelations about him did little to ease that fear. But you loved him, dearly. And so, you stayed with him in hiding. This was your third Christmas together and you had convinced him to holiday at a cabin up in the mountains. You had made sure that he knew no magic could find him there, neither for anyone to magically appear at the place was possible. It would just be you and him, safe and hidden from the world for his peace of mind._

**You had** been at the cabin for a few days and it was the day before Christmas. Everywhere hung decorations and by the little fireplace stood a small, gangly looking tree with a tiny little star at the top and some small ornaments that the brittle branches could handle; weight-wise. But you were happy, so darn happy you could burst.

Severus had been sweet and kind, relaxed even. He had tested the wards and tried many times to apparate, he even walked away from the cabin to see how close one could get by apparating. So he had been able to relax properly as you made sure he knew how grateful you were for the little holiday and that he was safely hidden.

“It’s still snowing,” you said as you looked out the window where snow fell lightly. It was pretty, but there was plenty of snow out there now. _Well, that’s what you get for being in the mountains I suppose, it’s always been like this._ Severus just hummed as he read a heavy book by the fireplace that kept the cabin toasty warm. You shrugged and headed off to the little kitchenette to prepare some tea and Christmas cookies.

You sipped your tea as you were sat in a little armchair with a thick blanket over your legs. You just stared at the fire and felt utterly content with life.  
“You’re smiling,” Severus murmured, his eyes still on the book in his hands. You giggled.  
“Well, I’m happy, Sev.” He peered up at you with raised eyebrows.  
“Is that so?” You nodded hastily as he gave you a tight smile. It was a small smile but every smile he gave meant the world to you as it happened so rarely.  
“I’m glad to hear it,” he said before his eyes were averted back to the book that seemed endless.

**The wind** howled and snow swirled outside the windows. It was so thick that you couldn’t even make out anything of the outside world. You had both been lost in silent happiness with a book each and time had flown by. The fire was about to die out when you stretched your arms towards the ceiling. _Should add some more- oh, we’re out of firewood…_ You looked towards the window with a heavy sigh. _Guess I have no choice,_ you thought as you removed the blanket and rose.

“Where are you going?” Severus asked as you were getting dressed in the thickest of winter clothes.  
“Oh, we’re out of firewood,” you said as you pulled the hat down low to protect your ears, “I’m just gonna go grab some.” He peered up at you before he put away his own book.  
“It’s storming outside, don’t be silly.” You tilted your head towards him.  
“Well, it will get damn cold in here if we don’t get more wood.”  
“I’ll go,” he simply said.  
“But I’m already dressed.”  
“Then get undressed,” he said in that thundering voice and you could not help the coy smile that spread across your lips as his cheeks seemed to take on a small blush.

“I did not mean-, that is not what I-” You chuckled at him as he struggled for words.  
“I know Sev, I know,” you laughed out as you began to take off the jacket, hat, boots and scarf as he muttered and grumbled words you couldn’t quite make out. You found him to be adorable. Yes, truly adorable. He usually never said things he didn’t mean, he rarely spoke about feelings or such things. He rarely misspoke so when he did you found him so adorable with his blushing cheeks and grumbling that truly was a rare sight.

Severus got dressed and you hung a scarf around his scarred neck to protect it from the howling storm outside. He let you tie it and then gave your forehead a quick kiss. You stroked him on his arm and kissed his cheek with a soft smile on your lips. You did truly love the man and every time his body made contact with yours - in any way - your heart pounded and your legs felt a bit like jelly.  
“Be back in a moment,” he hummed and his deep voice vibrated through you despite the low volume he spoke in. You simply nodded and turned to prepare some dinner in the meantime.

But you barely had time to take three steps before he spoke again.  
“What in the-” he murmured, “It, it won’t-, it’s blocked,” you heard and you immediately recognised the change in his voice. The rise and the slight tremor. _Anxiety, oh no…_  
“What?” you asked as you turned towards him.  
“It’s blocked, we, we can’t get out!” he roared and you flinched for a second as he sounded utterly desperate and nearly angry. You had never heard him like that before.

“Calm down, Sev, we’ll push together,” you said as you walked over, in an attempt to keep your voice light you talked with a smile. He tugged and pushed at the door with rushed movements.  
“We’re trapped, we’re trapped, trapped-” he growled through gritted teeth and you could see his body shifting from a relaxed state to a tense one, a hunching one. It made your chest hurt as your heart ached for him.

“It’s okay Sev, it’s okay, we-”  
“ _WE’RE TRAPPED!_ ” he roared as his face whipped around to yours. His eyes were feral, his expression was that of fear and panic.  
“Calm down, just breath-”  
“We’re trapped, I’m trapped, I’m trapped-” he half roared and half shrieked as he turned towards the door again and tugged on it. You knew the door opened outwards so you quickly walked over and placed your hands on it.  
“Push,” you said in an attempt to get him to focus on a physical movement as he seemed to get more and more anxious. You had never seen him in such a state. anxiety attacks sure, but the state he was in at that moment was something else.

You both pushed on the door as you did your best to stay calm for him. But he seemed to become more and more besides himself for every second that passed. His breaths came faster, turned more shallow and you could see that he was getting extremely pale, even for him. You placed a hand on his forearm - gently but firmly. His face whipped around to yours again. You held his stare for a moment.

But it was not enough, usually it helped to centre him through his anxiety. You had seen several of his anxiety attacks throughout the years. But this was different. His eyes were truly feral and closed off. As if he were far far away from you in that moment. You tried hushing and calming him with soft words; saying he would be okay and that he just needed to breathe. But you couldn’t get through to him.

“I need to get out!” he screamed as he turned his gaze away from you and kept tugging and pushing on the door. His movements sporadic and his breathing as haggard as if he had run a hundred miles.  
“Sev, Sev-, Severus stop!” you shrieked as he started pounding on the door with brutal force. His behaviour frightened you to no end. You tried grabbing his arms, tried to stop him from harming himself as he pounded the door so hard you feared his hands would break - or the door would.

You grabbed at him, tried to get him to focus on you, focus on anything but the feeling of being trapped. You didn’t know why it caused such distress for him, he had never seemed fearful of being stuck somewhere like this. But he kept screaming about being trapped and slithered his way out of your grip to attack the door over and over. As if he didn’t even recognise you, as if you weren’t even there.

Finally, as you yourself turned fearful - not for being trapped but for his safety - you went behind him and grabbed his coat. You pulled with all your strength to get him away from the door and as you did so in one swift tug you ended up pulling both of you down on the floor. He half-landed on top of you and the air left your lungs in a rush as his elbow rammed your ribs harshly.

“Severus, stop, calm- calm down!” you nearly shouted once you could breathe as he desperately tried to get away from you it seemed.  
“Don’t-, no don’t-!” His voice was different, his body acted differently and you could not recognise him in any way. The man that crawled on the floor towards the door in a desperate need of escaping the confinement he was in seemed like a different being. A different person.

_What do I do? What do I do? Why is he-, oh what is going on?!_ You crawled after him, grabbed at his leg to halt him.  
“Severus, please sto-” Your cheek stung as the back of his hand had hit you, hard, and you instantly let go of his leg as your head was whipped to the side from the hard blow he had landed on you.

Tears stung your eyes and started to trickle down your cheeks. _Fuck,_ was the only thing you could think as he truly had hit with what felt like all his strength. But you had no time to linger on the burning pain as he was yet again by the door, pounding and screaming. He was shouting at someone to release him. You shook your head, tried to focus and got up on your feet only to run towards him.

You clung to him, held on to him as he hit you over and over on your shoulder, back, arms. His movements were harsh and painful to bear but they were also mindless and erratic. He was not there, it was pure panic and nothing else.  
“Severus, Sev please, stop, stop, calm down-” you said over and over as you kept your own hurt and pain at bay by sheer willpower to help him, be there for him.

Something happened, everything stopped and he shook violently in your arms as he sunk to the floor with you still hanging around him. You tried to shift your position without releasing him. You cradled his head to your chest as he cried and sobbed. You could make out a few words through the sobbing, but only a few and they made no sense at all.

You held him, cradled him, stroked his hair and hushed as soothingly as you could while tears ran down your own cheeks and you tried to keep your own breathing even despite the fact that you were on the verge of fully crying yourself.  
“…trapped…he…pain…father…no…” you could barely hear what he was saying but the few words you could hear simply made no sense at all. So you focused on comforting him as he had started to cling to you. His hands fisted the fabric of your sweater as he tried to crush you against him.

**It had** been hours. _Hours_. Severus had been in such a deep panic attack that you had just been able to keep him from hurting himself to escape the cottage he felt utterly trapped in. It took all your strength to stay upright and hold him. Your legs were asleep, your back was screaming from the painful position and you were cold. But you did not let go; not for a single moment did you allow your own pain to take you away from him in his horrid state.

Your hand stroked his hair gently as he had finally stopped crying and screaming. Had finally calmed down enough to not nearly kill you by his need to have you close. His body was slowly relaxing and his weight became more noticeable for every minute that passed. He half laid across your folded legs with his head buried in your stomach as his arms were wrapped around your waist.

They slowly glided down, until you were released from his grip and his breathing evened out. You kept holding him, kept stroking him as he went into a deep slumber from the exhaustion of the panic that had coursed through him for so long. He looked as if he were still in distress despite his unconscious state. It hurt, so badly, for you to see him like that. Nothing like the man you knew, nothing like the controlled being he usually was.

You sobbed quietly as he laid there. He had sunk down and his face was resting on your thighs, one arm on each side of you spread out as if he had just collapsed. Basically, he had. He still cried though, his lashes were thick with the salty fluid that trickled down his cheeks and across the bridge of his hooked nose. You leaned forward and planted a soft kiss at his temple before you allowed yourself to release your own tears fully.

His pain was seared into your brain. The feral look, the distance in his eyes, the panic and fear. The pounding fists against the door, the shaking and screaming. You had never seen him in such a state from anything that had to do with the war. This was different; a deeper pain. _What have you lived through sweetheart..?_

**At some** point, you had collapsed as well. At some point, you had simply fallen down and not gotten up again. The cold woke you up. You were shivering, your teeth clattered together in a rattle. You groined as you sat up, stiff as a damn fridge. Severus still laid with his head in your lap, yet now there were no tears on his lashes or cheeks. The only light came from the gangly Christmas tree by the fireplace and you could no longer hear the wind howling outside.

_Perhaps the storm has passed?_ You tried to look out the window but you couldn’t see anything. It was too dark. So you focused on Severus. He was still sleeping, you tentatively reach out your cold hand to stroke his head. You were shivering badly as the cottage was getting ever colder with no fire and your wands laid in the closed bedroom. So you just focused on him as pain tore through you while the memories of his panic attack surged in your head.

Your cheek still hurt and you felt a swelling just beneath your eye that pounded a bit. Your arms ached as well as your shoulders and back. The areas he had hit you in a desperate need to get out of the cottage, the confinement he experienced to be pure terror apparently. You could not quite understand it, why had he felt such distress? You could only establish that it had something to do with his father and you knew very little of the man.

Severus never spoke about his past, his childhood. You had poked and prodded many times but not a word came from him about it. He only told you his father and mother were no longer part of his life and that was it. No more, no less. Despite your best efforts to get to know him these past three years, it was only recently, the last six months or so, that he had actually begun to open up to you a tiny bit. About the war, his part in it, the things he had seen and experienced. Some of the things he was forced to do.

The horrors of his past were, well, nearly unspeakable. Yet now you knew, there were much more - more darkness and horrors, more fear and pain. _How much can one person be expected to go through?_ you looked down longingly on him. The inky black hair, the pale skin and hooked nose. He was beautiful. To you, he was perfect even through his horrors and dark past.

He stirred, grumbled ever so slightly and then sat up stiffly. He looked around, confused, before he found you with his eyes. They were unclear at first but the distance swiftly disappeared and his focus returned. That usual depth and the intensely examining look were there. Before it was replaced by horror as his eyes widened while he looked at you.

“It’s okay,” you instantly said as you reached for him, “you’re safe, your with me, you’re not trapped, you’re safe,” you said in a soft rush to ease him. But your words did nothing against that look in his eyes.  
“You’re hurt,” he said. His voice a dark rumble as he looked at you with that strange expression you were so unused to see. You averted your eyes for a moment only to look back at him again as you needed to see him, see his reactions to help him.  
“I’m okay, really, I’m fine,” you said to comfort him. You had no idea what you looked like but it was truly nothing compared to the pain you had seen him in a few hours ago.

“Did-, I did that?” he growled; mostly at himself, it appeared. You inched closer as you reach for his cheek. He had turned his eyes away from you and you could not bear it. So you turned his head back with a soft push of your cold hand.  
“I’m good, Sev, really.” He grabbed your hand and pressed it harder against his cheek. It looked like some sort of blame battle went through his head but you weren’t quite sure.  
“You’re cold.” You nodded at the words. He was warm, still clad in the winter clothes he had put on to go out and get firewood.

“Severus, are you-”  
“Come, let’s get you warm.” He ignored your nearly completed question and was on his feet faster than you thought possible after having laid on the floor for such a long time. He grabbed your arms, you winched out a hiss at the contact and he instantly let go. His eyes yet again reflected horror as he apparently put two and two together.  
“I’m okay, I’m okay,” you said softly as you stretched your hand towards him. His shoulders hunched and he grabbed your hand to help you up as sadness entered those deep eyes of his.

You were stiff, cold and it felt as though you could barely move. But you rose and allowed your eyes to get stuck in his. A small smile on your lips to soothe him. To ease the horror and sadness that was reflected in them.  
“Severus, are you-”  
“We’ll take a bath,” he stated quickly, apparently desperate to not let you finish asking him if he was okay. And that only meant one thing. He was absolutely not okay. So you nodded and allowed him to lead you towards the bathroom. You knew all too well that nothing could be forced out of him, he’d only speak if he wished to. He’d only let you in on his terms. He’d only give you answers if he were willing to. It had taken many months for you to figure that out as you had asked and asked and asked and pleaded and begged and then begged some more. So you did none of those things. You merely allowed him to lead you physically.

The door closed behind the both of you and you knew what he was doing. He was taking care of you to ease his own pain. He was focusing on you to escape his own horrors. He did that, often. Focused on others to ease himself out of a situation he found hard. Focused on others to forget himself and what he was going through. Focused on doing for others what he truly wished someone would do for him, or at least that was how you saw it.

The tub filled with steaming hot water and Severus added some oils that smelled of autumn and crispness. You just watched him as he moved about; got towels, checked the temperature of the water, moved lotions and creams about, lighted candles and seemingly avoided to look at you through the entire process. It hurt, but you knew it was not intended. It still hurt though.

“I’ll get some clothes,” he stated before he rushed out of the room without giving you even a glance. You merely sighed and rubbed at your temple as you had to find patience for the man. You wanted to shake him and force him to talk with you. He was obviously in pain and hurting yet he didn’t allow you to help; to support him. At the same time, you knew that would not help. He had to do it in his own time. You knew that, but that did not mean it didn’t make you angry and made you feel utterly useless for him.

The door creaked open and he placed a pile of clothes on the only chair in the bathroom before he turned off the faucet as the tub was filled. Then, he slowly turned towards you. Something wavered in his eyes as he seemed to ponder on something.  
“What is it Sev?” you asked softly and he blinked as his eyes met yours before he lowered his gaze.  
“May, may I bath with you?” he asked and that thunderous voice was as soft as a cloud. You nodded with a smile and he seemed to relax a bit.

“I’ll go hang these clothes first,” he murmured and headed out. As the door closed you started to undress. The clothes were left in a pile on the floor as you gazed upon yourself, stark naked, in the walled mirror next to the chair in the corner. You were bruised and battered, your skin in various shades of blue and purple across your arms and shoulders. Your left eye a bit swollen and your cheek had a blue tint to it.

You shivered from the cold air in the room as you stepped into the tub in the next moment. Just when you were about to lower yourself into the hot water the door opened and Severus gawked at you. His eyebrows were raised and he seemed frozen mid-step. Then something switched in him. His face contorted into a hateful sneer as he looked at you. Disgust and hate etched in his otherwise beautiful eyes.

Your heart nearly broke in that moment. You nearly shattered beneath his cold, yet burning gaze. The way he looked at you made you feel thoroughly awful. He had seen your naked body before, he had roamed it and kissed it. Stroked it and held it. Many, many times. Yet now, his eyes screamed at you. Made you feel disgusting and hurt. Deeply hurt. You knew it was not aimed at your body, you knew that but could do nothing about the pain he inflicted with such a look.

“I am so sorry,” were the words that left his mouth and your tear-filled eyes blinked a few times. His voice was warm, soft, loving. Yet it was weak and painful to hear.  
“I am, truly, so sorry, (y/n),” he said and his eyes teared up as well. He seemed to deflate in the door frame and your legs could no longer hold you up. You sank into the water with a loud splash as it felt as if he was telling you something else with his words. It felt like a goodbye rather than an apology.

“Are, are you leaving me?” you asked on a low whisper. You could not bear to look at him. To see the galaxies in his eyes that held such depth, the softness of his thin lips, the distinct shape of his nose what’s ridge you loved to drag your finger down gently. Your head hung low as the tears flowed freely. _What about your Christmas gift..? Tomorrow, tomorrow is… Or today?_

It was a silly thought in the chaos, a fleeting moment of no sense and no logic to the world. A stupid thought of jolly holidays and tight smiles as your world were shattering around you. As he was breaking you in every way possible with his silence, his words that meant something else, his eyes that made you drown and his cold skin that made you shiver in delight. All things he was stealing. All things were tainted with him. All things that were you, belonged to him. You had given him your all. It was everlasting; unchangeable.

His hands were on you in the next moment, he lifted your face with harsh fingers under your chin as he pressed his lips to yours with force and power. Confusion swept through you but his lips claimed your attention.  
“Never,” he whispered against your lips before he kissed you again and again and again.

His thumb stroked away a stray tear as his eyes lingered on yours.  
“Ask me to leave and I will,” he said in a hoarse voice, “Tell me to go and you shall never see me again,” he continued in a promise. You blinked at him. _Why? It wasn’t our fault, you were in a panic attack, you had no control over this…_  
“Tell me,” he said again and you shook your head, “tell me to leave so I won’t hurt you again.” His voice was harsher, more of a growl yet you shook your head again.  
“I can’t leave you, (y/n). I love you.”

You gasped at his words, the words you had said to him so many times yet he had never uttered them back to you. Had never told you. Yet now he said them, now he told you and it made you warm to your very core. Emotions raved and rummaged through every corner of your body and soul.  
“I can’t leave you, you need to tell me to leave,” he repeated.  
“I love you, Severus.” He stiffened when you looped your arms around his neck.  
“I love you, Sev. I will love you forever.” You kissed him again and another change seemed to happen in him.

Your head was nearly spinning with all the things that happened in such a short period of time as barely anything had happened earlier. There had been short conversations, there had been plenty of lovemaking, there had been barriers and hurdles. But there had barely been any words of the past or emotions, despite the many anxiety attacks and the nightmares. Despite it all, he had barely opened up to you as he was guarded and in pain. Such deep pain that he carried alone. But now, something was different. Something fundamental had changed between him and you, or in him - even in you.

“Bath with me,” you whispered and he hummed before he quickly got rid of his clothes and slipped into the tub behind you. seemingly desperate to get closer and hold you for as long as he would be allowed. You felt the rush in him. He cradled you and kissed the top of your head as he was careful not to touch the areas where your skin wore a different colour than the winter paleness. You leaned back and felt his chest hair tickle your back. It was lovely and you allowed yourself to soak it up for the time being. Discussions could be done later.

**After a** while, the water turned cold. You shivered slightly and he kissed the top of your head again; as he had done many times during the silent time you spent in the tub.  
“Let’s dry off,” he whispered and you nodded, exhaustion was creeping in as dawn was spreading its light outside the frosty windows. Your skin shimmered in its shine as goosebumps travelled all over your exposed body.

He wrapped you in a lush towel before he dried himself off and you started to do the same as your gaze drifted across his body. The scars, the marks, the pale skin and the broad chest covered in the softest black hair. Your fingers tingled, wanted to be dragged through it. But then your eyes lingered on the burns that dotted the same chest and something curled, slithered, clawed in your gut. 

He rarely spoke about his past, and even less so about the marks that covered him. You loved him regardless of the markings that covered him in memories of past pain. Loved him deeply, completely. It had not been there at first. The attraction yes, but the love no. It grew during the months you had nursed him back to health. He slipped inside and then he took over your heart, soul and mind. Fully. There was no denying that there would never be another man for you. He was everything.

“You’re staring,” he muttered and you shook your head as you had zoned out but your eyes still lingered on him.  
“I zoned out, sorry,” you said as you looked away and down.  
“I know you wonder, that you wish to know, more. But, I cannot…” His words were soft as velvet yet cut deep as a dagger. It stabbed at your self-esteem, gave worth to your thoughts of unworthiness. That you were not enough for him, not worth enough to trust. It hurt, deeply and truly but you simply smiled and nodded.  
“It’s your past, Sev. Not mine,” you said as you dried of your legs before you hung the towel and started to get dressed as he was doing the same. _But it might be our future…_ You thought on a tiny sigh.

As you both were dressed you ventured out to the open space that was livingroom, entrance, dining area and kitchenette all in one. It was freezing inside and you shivered despite wearing several layers of clothes. Severus disappeared to the bedroom and you walked over to the window to look outside. It was a beautiful morning but the snow was all the way up to the window seal. You were truly snowed in.

Fear crept through you as Severus entered the room. How was he going to react this time? You had no clue and it made you fearful of telling him, fearful that he’d have another panic attack. He arched a brow at you as you bit your lip.  
“We’re-, we’re snowed in.” Severus glanced towards the window and nodded.  
“Appears so,” he simply said. You straightened as you looked a tad confused, had that not been why he freaked out yesterday?

With a flick of his wand, he lit a flame in the hearth to heat the cottage despite the lack of wood. With a swift wave of his wand through the room all the candles and lanterns lit up as well. The light was nothing compared to the golden shine that seeped through the windows though. The dust danced in it and you could not help but feel a bit sad as your eyes drifted towards Severus.

“Will you ever tell me? Speak to me?” you asked faintly. Severus stepped over towards you, he split the dancing dust and left it swirling behind him. You stood still, waited for him as he took you in his arms.  
“You truly scared me,” you whispered into his chest as his more controlled, calculated persona seemed to emerge again. As if yesterday hadn’t happened. As if it was at most a slip of his careful control.  
“I am sorry for, marking you…” He seemed unable to use any other word for the hurt he had inflicted physically.

You stepped back, looked up at him.  
“I don’t mean that. I couldn’t care less about that. I’m talking about your fear, your horror and I had no idea what to do because you never tell me anything about-”  
“I can’t, (y/n), I truly can not tell you. It, it would break you.” His words were rushed as you stared at him.  
“No, Severus, it would break you. That’s what you’re afraid of. That it would tear down this wall, all the barriers you’ve put up. Not me, you’re not scared of breaking me, you’re scared to break through yourself.”

He stiffened at your words and you knew you had hit the spot. That your words rang true for him.  
“Will you forever keep a wall between you and the world? Will you always separate yourself from all things good, bad, neutral..? From love?” The last word made him stiffen even more as you sighed.  
“I love you and I need you to understand what that means.”  
“Enlighten me then,” he simply whispered. It sounded as if his voice could not be spoken any louder at that moment. You held him tighter for a second before you released the tension that lingered in your aching shoulders.

“I will always be by your side. I will do all things I can for you, for us. I will listen and comfort, I will cry with you, laugh with you. I will be there through the hardships and the pain. I will stand by you through darkness and light. No matter the problem I will solve it with you, no matter the error we will fix it together. No matter what I will trust you and care for you. Exist for you. That is my love for you. And it has no end.” You looked up at him, your face set in soft earnest.

“My love has no end. You can’t use it up. It does not end by the twenty-fourth scar, it does not end by the thirty-fifth memory or the seventh fight. It does simply not end. It’s not a potion that will eventually run out, nor is it a cauldron to be filled and emptied. It’s just there, everlasting…” At some point, tears had started to flow down your cheeks as your words were completely honest. As you yourself realised just what you would do, give and be for the man before you.

“That’s my love for you.” He sighed out a breath as you finished explaining what you felt for him. Silence fell for a little while as you both allowed the words to sink in. You just held each other until you felt as if you would start sobbing at any moment. That’s when he spoke.

“I love you as well, fully. It’s, I’ve felt it for quite some time now but I just had no words for it. Love feels, wrong. The word I mean. My mother told my father she loved him and vice versa. Yet he beat her, bashed her, screamed and hurt her feelings countless times,” Severus said and you held on to the information he provided. It happened so rarely and to hear him speak of his past made you feel trusted.

“So, that word simply does not do it for me. It’s wrong for what I feel for you.” You hugged him tighter as he took a deep breath. You knew what he meant, but love had never been sullied for you in such a dark way.  
“So I find myself lost for words. A word for what I feel, something other than love that is tossed about so freely.”  
“Well, what do you feel when you see me?” you asked with a small smile as your shivering had finally stopped now that the room felt warmer and you were buried in his embrace.

“Well, it sort of hurts in my chest when my heart hammers so fervently and sometimes I feel like I can’t quite breathe if I’m not close to you. It’s a warm feeling and it’s all-consuming. It’s like I can’t live without you,” he said and the words made your knees weak. You even felt a bit heated and dizzy by the power of the words said in his thunderous words.  
“I’m the air in your lungs?” you asked softly with a sheepish grin.  
“Truly,” he whispered as he held you closely on a small chuckle that vibrated through you via the contact you had with his chest.

After a little while, you leaned back as he did the same.  
“Are you alright?” you asked with a sincere expression as you were drowning in the galaxies that were his onyx eyes. He gave you a smile, it wasn’t tight or small, not narrow at all. It was a smile, a pure smile and your heart skipped a beat in your chest that felt too tight for all the emotions.  
“I am,” he said as he kissed your forehead.  
“No fear of being trapped?”  
“No, not now, in the light and when I’m prepared. It’s different now,” he said and you felt the honesty in his words. Felt it as clearly as you felt his arms around you.

**You were** both sipping some tea as silence lingered around you. He had finally let you in, finally, he had talked to you. For well over an hour he explained what his father had done. The pain, the torture, the abuse - he had confided in you. He had let you in and you both had many thoughts and feelings to process after that. Hence the tea and silence.

But there was still one thing you could not quite understand; why being snowed in - trapped - had induced such a severe panic attack. Worse than any you had seen him in before. So you straightened a little and looked at him where he was sat next to you on the couch. He was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and the teacup gently held in his large hands.

“A question?” he asked as he obviously sensed your eyes on him. You sighed and placed the cup on the table.  
“I don’t understand the fear of being trapped? Why you got such an extreme reaction yesterday.” He looked at you in a sideways glance before his eyes returned to the steaming liquid in his cup.  
“That’s, a long story…”  
“We have time.” He chuckled at that.  
“Do we?”  
“Of course we do. We’re snowed in, we can’t leave for a while and really we can stay as long as we like.” _It’s my cabin, so…_ Something you had failed to mention earlier to him. Among other things. He had his secrets and you had yours, your wealth was one of them. He never asked and you never told. _But perhaps it’s time…_

“Well, we had a wardrobe, in the basement…” You listened carefully as he started to explain.  
“And, my father liked to use it as a punishment. Used to lock me up in there. For days. I’ll spare you the details, but… He, had a tendency to forget, well, to feed me and my mother was forbidden to go down in the basement. It was his area and only his.” You gasped at his words, despite the fact that you did your best to not show the horror you felt. He always seemed to hesitate whenever you did that.

“Sometimes it was just hours, sometimes a day or two, sometimes longer. That was part of it. I never knew how long I would be locked up and I, I do not do well being trapped since.” He spun the cup between his hands, rolled it against his palms and you inched closer.  
“Severus, I am so sorry you had to live through that.” He looked at you at those words.  
“I am sorry you had to know about it.”  
“Sev, sweetheart, never feel sorry for things not in your control. And never feel sorry for telling me things. I want to know everything about you, everything you are willing to trust me with,” you said softly as you curled up by his side after he had put down the cup next to yours on the little wooden table.

He placed his arm around you carefully and his thumb stroked up and down your arm gently. He smelled divine, as usual, and the fragrance of him soothed something deep inside of you. Your bruises ached but you could not have cared less in that instance.  
“Your the air in my lungs,” you whispered.  
“Your the beating of my heart,” he answered and you snuggled closer. A smile covered your lips despite the horrible images that flickered and flashed through your head. His memories.

You tilted your head and his lips found yours. Tenderly soft kisses were gifted between the both of you as something settled in you. Hope, for a future with him. Hope that he’d give you his trust and love. In his way. _Perhaps, one day, we will know all there is to know about each other._ The thought made you smile against his lips.  
“What?”  
“Happy,” you said and he chuckled before he lifted you up in his lap to get closer.

You kissed his nose, his cheeks, his jaw and his exposed neck as his hands snaked around you. Held you steadily as you felt him grow beneath you.  
“My air,” you whispered against his throat where you felt his pulse quicken.  
“My heartbeat,” he murmured in a growl and then he pulled you against him in such a rush you nearly lost your breath. He cradled you and you felt him cry. Felt him shake and vibrate. But this was different than any other time. Now, it was in joy that he cried. 

So you held him. He cried silently with only some whispered words of remorse and how he wished he was a better man for you. You let him say those things to get them out. You could talk about that some other time.  
“I am so happy to have you,” he whispered into your neck.  
“And I you,” you answered as you stroked his back gently.  
“I will talk more, so this never happens again. It is within my control not to harm you, to not be like him in any way,” he said in a rumbling murmur and you burst out in tears.

You cried as the pain was realised from its confinement. You cried as he promised to do what he hated most for your safety. You cried as he was willing to open up to get past his own memories and make new ones with you by his side. You cried and then you both ended up fervently kissing through all the emotions.

Some sort of happy ending was not out of reach for the two of you and you would make damn sure he would feel loved and safe every day. You would love him through it all - the pain and the sorrow, through the joy and the comfort of love. You would love him as he loved you.  
“My air,” he whispered against your swollen lips.  
“My heartbeat,” you replied with ragged breathing as he gently laid you down on the couch and kissed you senseless…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh gosh, this is so long but I really needed to write this out properly <3
> 
> But, I do want to say one more thing!  
> DO NOT RESTRICT A PERSON IN A PANIC ATTACK UNLESS IT WILL SAVE THEIR LIFE! Restriction may cause further panic and every person is different in this. Some need sound, some need a soothing hand on the knee, some need to be cradled and some need only supervision. Everyone is different and before you hold someone in a panic attack try other things that are less restrictive first, unless you know the person needs to be held. <3


	15. Family [14]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 14. Family
> 
> A/N: So this was prompted by @blog4snape who suggested I write about the first time snape held his daughter as I was completely stuck xD So, THANK YOU DEARIE! <3
> 
> This is a short one as I did such a loooong one yesterday xD <3
> 
> Setting: Your house
> 
> Characters: Snape & his newborn daughter

She was perfection. His heart felt ripped to pieces only to be formed anew to make room for all the love he felt erupt in him as she snoozed in his arms. She was warm and light, so tiny in his large embrace. The little hair she had on her head stood out in all directions and she was adorable. He could not for the life of him look away.

He hummed gently as he walked around the hospital room with her in his arms. She truly was a miracle for him. A Christmas miracle. As if he had been blessed by the angels. After all the darkness there she was, the light of his life. His little Angela. His little angel-sent miracle.

His chest felt tight and warm, tears pricked at the back of his eyes. The emotions were overwhelming as he could not fathom what he had done in life to ever deserve such bliss? Had he truly earn it? _I will do all in my power for you._ the thought lingered in his head as he stroked her little cheek with a gentle finger.

“So tiny…” he whispered with a tremor to his thunderous voice.

He sank down in the only available chair in the hospital room as his beloved wife slept after a long and hard labour. It was just him and his little daughter, his first child and he could not understand how anyone would even consider having more. _How would one’s heart cope? I would surely crumble and break from all this, this love._

In that moment little angela stirred slightly in his arms, he stiffened, afraid she’d wake up and scream - what was he supposed to do then? But she didn’t, she just moved around a little in his arms before falling back into a deep slumber. He watched every breath she took. Kept her blankie wrapped tightly and her head well supported as he struggled with the way he felt. All the love, the fear and the responsibility he had towards the little human he cradled.

But he would do all he could for the little miracle that had arrived just in time for Christmas and the first snow. He would move mountains and create valleys for her. The universe was her’s and he would make sure she got everything that was good in it. He would make sure that she always knew that she was loved - without conditions.

“Little Angela, little angel…” he hummed as he stroked her head ever so gently. Overwhelmed with the warmth of a new level of love he had never thought even were a possibility.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was short, like the shortest thing I’ve written. But I made such a long one yesterday and I feel a bit stressed to have time with all the prompts, but I hope you enjoyed this one <3


	16. Snowmen [15]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 15. Snowmen
> 
> A/N: So I had in mind something light and funny, some payback for past hurt if you will. It turned out to be quite deep in the end though and I really don’t know what happened. But I feel like it was, good..?
> 
> Setting: The forest between Hogsmeade and The Shrieking Shack
> 
> Characters: Severus, James, Sirius, Peter, Remus, Lily (their 5th year at Hogwarts)

They had been taunting him, for so long. Snowballs, leg binding jinxes, ice under his feet - it just went on and on. Severus was at his wit’s end by the middle of December. Everywhere he went they seemed to be, no matter where he tried to hide they seemed to find him, despite his best efforts to not let it bother him he was fuming. No matter what, the Marauders always seemed to get the last laugh. _Well, not today,_ he thought as the visit to Hogsmeade was reaching its end.

He had found a jinx, intended for joy he presumed by the notes in the margin. But he had other plans for it. They were always four against one - but not this time. No, this time he would have backup. _Just one more,_ he thought as he looked around at the four snowmen he had spent over an hour making. _Just one more and I’m set,_ he thought again with something that resembled a wicked smile of hope.

He knew they would come, knew they were looking for him, knew they wanted to get one last laugh out of the Hogsmeade visit. He had known before they ever even went on the little trip. So he had planned and planned, hoped he’d be able to get some revenge that wouldn’t get he himself into too much trouble. Hopefully, no trouble at all if he could help it. _They always get away with the foulest of shit so why shouldn’t I?_

Just as he put the last head on the last snowman so they outnumbered the Marauders he heard snow being crushed under many boots. It was time. He hid behind a tree a little ways away from where he could see it all. He tensed when laughter reached him, James’s laughter. An evil sound that made him shiver.

“Oh, what’s this? Someone’s built snowmen,” Remus said with a curious voice and chuckles were heard. Severus looked at the Gryffindor boys as they walked closer to the snowmen. He kept his wand ready.  
“Would be a shame if they were to, get destroyed, wouldn’t it?” James chuckled and Severus saw the evil gleam in his eyes. It made his stomach turn.

The Marauders stiffened as the snowmen looked at them with evil grins of rocks and twigs. Their long arms reach for the snow around them and in an instant, they started throwing snowballs at the boys who seemed chocked. They got pounded by snowballs and Severus could barely contain his laughter as they fumbled around while trying to cover their heads. It was glorious.

Sirius laughed, Peter snickered and Remus seemed tired of his friends’ shenanigans.   
“Don’t destroy them,” Remus said but the others just laughed as they walked closer with determined steps. Severus flicked his wand and used nonverbal magic to make them come alive. With a single purpose. To throw snowballs at people.

James stumbled and fell backwards, Peter ran around like an idiot while Sirius skipped around in an effort to avoid as many slinging snowballs as possible while Remus - a bit more calm and collected - seamed to be the only one who even thought of using magic to shield himself from the onslaught. Not that it was enough. The snowmen surrounded the boys and snowballs came from all directions.

Severus saw Remus roll his eyes as he aimed the wand at the snowman closest to him. Fire burst out of his wand as he said ‘incendio’ but Severus had been clever. A fire repellent charm laid over the jumping snowmen and the look on Remus’s face was unforgettable as his magic did little to no damage on the snowball-throwing snowmen.

Severus snickered as he peeked out from behind the tree.   
“Do something!” James screamed.  
“Like what?!” Sirius hollered back with a pissed off expression as his curly hair got whiter and whiter. Severus had to cover his mouth so as not to laugh out loud and reveal himself.  
“ _Anything!_ ” James screamed back as he crawled around in the snow on his hand and knees.

“It’s not working!” Sirius shouted out.  
“I damn well noticed!” Remus smeared back and they gathered in a lump in the middle of the snowman circle.  
“Run for it!” James said with a frantic voice as the snowmen inched closer, the snowballs hit harder and they seemed at a total loss for what to do.  
“Now?” Peter piped up.  
“ _Now!_ ” James declared as they all barrelled out of the circle, the snowmen instantly hot on their tail with bouncing jumps.

Severus laughed out loud and crumbled to the ground as the chaos ran away with shouts and ducking heads. He knew the spell would only last for about another minute but by Merlin did he hope they got thoroughly wet and cold in that time. _Almost a shame they don’t know it’s my handy work,_ he thought as he wiped away tears of laughter from his eyes.

“I should have declared myself so they’d know I’m the one who got them hunted by snowball-throwing snowmen,” he sighed out as he rose from the crouched position.  
“Oh don’t worry, they will.”

Severus whipped around at those words, that voice. His eyes were met by an angry-looking Lily and he paled somewhat by the sight of her.  
“Really, Severus? Snowmen throwing snowballs?” She crossed her arms over her chest and Severus shrugged. Even if it felt a little less fun now that Lily was angry with him.  
“You could have at least added some snow spewing dragons while you were at it,” she snickered out and Severus’s eyes widened as Lily’s face turned from sour to sweet. A little grin etched over her lips.

He chuckled as the idea formed in his head, the vision of dragons spewing snow while hunting the Marauders alongside the bouncing snowmen.  
“Sorry to say I’m not that great a snow sculptor,” he chuckled out as his shoulders relaxed a bit.  
“You’re, not mad?” he asked carefully. She blew a raspberry and rolled her eyes.

“I don’t agree with the behaviour but all things considered you did payback in a good way, I suppose,” she said on a chuckle, “I know they are mean to you and I’m sorry for that, but you shouldn’t stupe to their level.” Severus arched a brow at her words.  
“But dating one of them is fine?” Lily’s face hardened at that.  
“Who I date is none of your concern.”  
“I know, and who I throw snowballs at with the help of some snowmen is none of your concern.”

They glared at each other, Lily offended and Severus angered.  
“You really know how to ruin a good time,” he muttered as the joy he had felt mere moments ago disappeared.  
“You really know how to ruin friendships,” she countered with and her words stung. More so than any words ever said by the Marauders.

“It wouldn’t be so hard to be friends if you weren’t a bully lover,” he bit out as anger rose in him. And hurt, hurt from her betrayal and all the times she just stood by as he was tormented for merely existing and being different. She gasped at that and fisted her hands by her sides.  
“Well if _you_ weren’t so insecure you would have known I loved you as a friend despite it all!”  
“Despite what?! Despite being bullied? Abused? Terrorised? Hunted by bullies you so dearly love?!” Severus roared with pounding heart and heaving breaths. She glared at him with a shake of her head as she apparently had no words to retort with.

He sunk to the ground. The joy from his retaliation had gone away and left was only self-loathing and fear. For he was truly scared Lily’s words would be true, that he would be miserable and alone. _Why did I have to say that? She was trying, by Merlin…_ He thought but his feelings were to hurt by her. She had cut too deep with her betrayal and even if she wanted to be friends again he could not forgive her for all the years he had cried and all the pain he had gone through every time she just let them bully him. Without a chiding word at them or a helping hand for him. _All is not meant to be forgiven. Everyone does not earn forgiveness._ He thought to himself as the memories flooded him with pain.

She walked past him and turned her head.  
“They’ll know, I’ll make sure of that.” Severus sneered at her.  
“Go ahead, tell them. Let’s see what happens after that. Who knows, perhaps this time they’ll do it properly and finish me off. Wouldn’t that be quite something?”  
“At least it would be better than spending your life miserable and alone, 'cus that’s what you’ll be in the end, Snape,” she said with venom in her voice, “I tried to be nice to you, just a moment ago. And look what it got me. Insults.”  
“There would have been no insults if the words weren’t true.” She huffed at that and stomped away without another word.

He wanted to forgive her, to move on and leave the past in the past but how could he do that when they were at every turn with their utmost efforts to make his life hell. When she held James’s hand and laughed at his jokes despite the fact that James was a horrible person. How was he supposed to let it go and move on when he was hurting so badly? How was he supposed to tell her that the bullying was nothing compared to her indifference of his pain? How was he supposed to smile when it felt like a lie?

Perhaps he would indeed vanish one day and be rid of the whole ordeal that was life. Perhaps he’d just melt, like snow in the warmth of the spring sun. Perhaps he’d just stop living like the snowmen who, by now, was just snow, twigs and rocks again. Perhaps it would be so. But there was a chance that life had something else planned for him and he would hold on to that thought until the very end, even if it turned out to be mere dust in the wind of the storm that was unfulfilled wishes throughout eternity.


	17. Crackling Fire [16]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 16. Crackling Fire
> 
> A/N: Something cosy for you to snuggle into after the deeper/slightly heavier prompts lately ^^
> 
> Setting: Snape’s quarters at Hogwarts
> 
> Pairing: Snape x Teacher!Reader

You had been rushing all day. It just seemed as they would never let you take a breath. Between helping student, teaching classes, grading essays and homework, a staff meeting and some fighting students that needed to be separated and dealt with you simply had had no time to take a moment. Even your lunch had been interrupted as firecrackers had gone off outside the Great Hall.

“You look, exhausted,” Severus said with a slight smear as you appeared in his doorway just past 8pm. You sighed as your shoulders slumped.  
“It’s, been a long damn day,” you huffed as you stepped inside and closed the door behind you. Severus rose from his armchair and marched over to you. His arms wrapped around you as you wrapped yours around his waist. You breathed in his sent and hummed against his shoulder.

“Would you like to tell me about it?” he asked while you both stood in the middle of the room.  
“No, but some tea would be nice,” you murmured into his shoulder and he nodded before he gave the top of your head a light kiss.  
“Tea it is,” he murmured and set of to make you a cup while you walked over to the couch and slumped in a tired pile among the cussions and blankets. Your eyes got stuck on the dancing flames that swirled and flicked in the hearth.

Severus handed you your cup before he summoned blankets, pillows and a plush rug on the floor before the fire.  
“Come,” he said and you took his hand. You both settled down before the fire; you leaned against him as he leaned against the couch behind him. A blanket atop your folded legs and the teacup in your hands. He stroked your hair with a gentle hand and you hummed in delight, instantly more relaxed.

The fire crackled and hissed as your eyes stared blankly into the warm light that made you feel more calm.  
“Sure you do not wish to tell me?” he asked and you leaned your head back to rest on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and rested it atop you cheat so that his fingers could stroke your upper arm. You sighed as the day rushed by in your memory. You didn’t want to bore him with such nonsense but at the same time he always seemed to enjoy the fact that you confused in him, or perhaps he just enjoyed listening to you voice as he had said so many times.

“Well, Melry destroy his essay, Ferguson fought with Greene, firecrackers interrupted my lunch, classes were a restless mess, I have mountains of homework to correct and that staff meeting just seemed to take forever. I mean by Merlin, how much can one blabber? Trelawney need to learn shut up about her visions and whatnot.” You peaked up at him and he nodded with a small smile.  
“Indeed, she do very much like to talk. About nonsense,” he said and you chuckled on a nod.

“Well, Harper needed help with her other essay, Scornic managed to turn his desk into a dancing half-pony and half-desk thing when he was fooling around with his wand and I don’t even want to start on the constant chatter about going home for Christmas,” you continued as he listened attentively while his fingers stroked your arm in a soothing tempo.  
“I mean surely, how much can one blabber about it with the same people when it’s been going on for weeks? Don’t they like, run out of things to say or do you think they just keep saying the damn things over and over? I swear I heard Kearly say he was going to Italy at least five times during _one single bloody lesson!_ ” you shrieked with a loud sigh as Severus chuckled and kissed the top of your head.

After having rambled about your day some more with Severus humming and nodding from time to time you both fell into a soft silence. He stroked your arm, you sighed in delight and the fire crackled and hissed in the little hearth before you both. It was cosy and relaxing in every way imaginable. You didn’t want the evening to end.

But it did, eventually time passed and it turned into night. He kissed the top of your head gently.  
“About going home for Christmas,” he whispered and you tilted your head back so you could peer up at the man you loved deeply.  
“Yes? What about it?” He gave you a soft smile before he kissed your forehead that creased in confusion right between your eyebrows.  
“Will you spend Christmas with me this year?” the question caught you off-guard and you bolted up.

You turned towards him, your lips slightly parted as he stared at you in confusion.  
“Didn’t I tell you?” He shook his head ever so slightly with raised eyebrows. You facepalmed yourself on a groin.  
“Damn,” you grumbled, “you’re coming with me.”  
“With you? Where to?”  
“My family, of course, we always have a huge Christmas celebration and it’s about bloody-time you meet my family. If, you want to?” Your cheeks blushed a bit as his gaze seemed to linger in your own.

“Very much,” he simply stated a moment later and you smiled brightly as heat spread through you.  
“Great, we leave right after the students. You better pack extra clothes for the celebration. It tends to get a bit wild and it’s not unusual with glitter fights so your clothes will most likely not remain in pristine condition. So don’t wear your best stuff,” you said on a grin. He arched a brow and you swatted at his chest.  
“Oh don’t give me that look, it’s fun sweetheart!”  
“I can just vanish the glitter once the fight is ov-” You burst out laughing before he could even finish that sentence.

He stared at you while you laughed heartily.  
“Yeah, sure if it weren’t Glocker Glitter,” you eventually managed to wheeze out.  
“Glocker, glitter?”  
“You know, the magical stuff that will magically vanish after three days but is impossible to remove once it’s gotten stuck to something until times up. You just have to wait for it to disappear.”  
“Who invents such nonsense?” You smiled at him and placed your hand on his cheek, ever so gently as you looked into his eyes.  
“People who like to have fun, sweetheart. People who enjoy sparkly things and pranks. People like me and soon you, if you can’t take some fun times you won’t last a minute with my family.”  
“Oh, it’s a wager then. I’ll make you proud, (y/n),” he said on a chuckle and you kissed him.  
“It’s a wager, you lose I get to dump glitter all over you before the first day of next term. If I lose I’ll let you-”  
“Love you forever despite being a none-fun-person,” he finished for you and you smiled sweetly.  
“A wager,” you said and held out your hand, he shook it once and then you both sealed it with a kiss as the last little flame idly died out in the hearth. 


	18. Loneliness [17]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 17. Loneliness
> 
> A/N: We are getting closer to the end of Snapemas and I wanted to write something I haven’t done earlier through this prompt list. Fair warning, it is a bit sad… But I feel like this is yet another subject to shine some light on. There are some cute/sweet parts too! (Written on mobile so the paragraphs are a bit wonky, sorry ‘bout that!)
> 
> Setting: Christmas party at the Burrow, Snape is approximately 85-90 years old
> 
> Characters: MANY xD

After the war, so many years ago, Harry had told everyone of his exceptional work and dedication. He had been celebrated as a hero along with many others. He was acknowledged and people were not so frightened of him back then as they had been earlier. They nodded at him on the streets, the students had asked him to tell them stories more times than he could remember and he had made friends and amends.

Yet, none had found him to be of romantic interest. None had found him worthy of their time and love. None had found him to be partner material and he had never had a romantic relationship. One night stands, sure. But no relationship of mutual love, not a single person to share his life and home with. He had thought, he had hoped, that one day someone would find him worthy but it had never happened.

So there he was, sat in a wonky armchair surrounded by other families and everything brimmed with joy. Except he felt none. He was empty and sad, alone in the world. He knew all too well that once the party was over he would go back to his dusty home and silence would fall again. As it always did. He would cook for one, do laundry for one, clean only the spaces he used and the morning coffee would always be shipped in solitude. _Not that it will continue for much longer, old as I am and my body giving way._ He allowed the thought to linger. Sure, he could make potions, keep his health up and live to 150 probably. But what was the point of that?

“Severus, dinner is nearly ready. Shall I ask Ron to help you get seated?” It was Hermione who spoke to him with a soft smile on her lips as she marched over.  
“I am quite alright to get seated on my own,” he huffed with a slight sneer but Hermione only rolled her eyes.  
“Everyone, it time to eat!” She called so loudly it could be heard all the way through the Burrow. Just as Molly’s voice had once been heard even in the smallest of corners and highest of rooms.  
“Come on now, up you get,” she said and grabbed him with strong arms.

She marched him over to the table as his back ached terribly and his knees refused to function smoothly. She plopped him down and he sneered at her.  
“There we go,” she said with a smile as she patted his shoulder.  
“Now, don’t be a Grinch and smile.” Severus could not help but do as he was told since it was nearly a tradition for her to utter those words. She gave his shoulder another pat as the table was swarmed by several generations and it was extremely cramped. But Hermione always made sure he had enough space, even if the newest generation always wanted to crawl all over him. Why? He had no idea. Perhaps all the stories their parents and grandparents had told them of the war, of his part in it.

“Granma’ 'mione” Hermione turned at the little girl who stood next to her leg.  
“What is it dearie?” The granddaughter of Harry and Ginny had clearly inherited her looks from the Weasley side of the family with her red sparkling hair and twinkling eyes of mischief.  
“I wanna sit here,” the girl said and pointed to the chair next to Severus. Hermione smiled.  
“I think your father wants to sit here,” she said and the little girl pouted while Hermione smiled so widely her eyes wrinkled even more.  
“Bu’ I wanna sit by Uncle Sevy!” She stomped her foot with an angry expression and Hermione sighed.

After a while, and some bickering about who would sit where, everyone had a place in the recently remodelled and extended dining hall of the Burrow. Hermione had done a great deal to fix up the place as she and Ron were the only ones who wanted the place when Molly and Arthur had passed away from old age. Severus had helped with some magical binding spells and such but he had not been able to do much as his body did not age well. Hermione always said it was because he didn’t allow enough joy and exercise in his life and he always huffed at the words. But lately, lately everyone had seemed more worried about him and comments like that had stopped coming. He suspected it was because he was truly old and brittle now.

“Well go ask-”  
“Of course you shall sit by my side you little trickster,” Severus said with a thunderous voice and the girl beamed at him before she quickly crawled up on the chair and Hermione simply scooted her in closer to the table as Albus came in.  
“That’s my seat!” He said and he played the shocked parent role as his daughter laughed on a giggle.  
“Uncle Sevy said _I_ get so sit with him,” she giggled with a proud expression and Albus shook his head in defeat as his daughter, being merely 5 years old, was as headstrong as any child could possibly be.  
“There is room for everyone,” Hermione chided and Albus took the seat next to his daughter as the chair on the other side of Severus had already been claimed by the grandchild of Hermione and Ron, one of Hugo’s daughters. Little Mary. She was a quiet child, as in she did not speak unless it was an absolute necessity, but very attentive and brilliant in her own way.

The chaos of Christmas dinner ensued after some thanks had been said for everyone’s attendance, and the children begged for their gifts to be delivered after dinner. Hermione, the boss of them all, had shut it down with a few chosen words. So they all started to eat, talk and laugh again. The house was truly filled to the brim with them all. Three generations, four if you counted Severus as a separate one, which surely made sense?

The food was delightful, the children as well. The adults were in the middle of various conversations while helping the little ones. Severus kept a close eye on the two little ones closest to him and helped them as much as he could while Albus’s daughter blabbered about gifts, school and the new pyjamas her mom had given her a week earlier - apparently, it had reindeer on it and that was obviously very important to tell him. On his other side sat Hugo’s daughter in silence for a long time as she gently ate and listened to the conversations around her. She was also 5 years old and yet she seemed very different from the rest of the children. Less out there and more closed of. Severus found himself to be very attentive to her, even when the other children and adults called for his attention he still had her under his gaze.

Once the table was cleared and the squadron of Weasleys and Weasley-related people had moved out to the living room while the Potters and Potter-related people trailed after Severus was still sat by the table. He was looking out the window as snow fell silently in tiny little glittering flakes. Someone tugged on his sleeve. Hugo’s daughter, Marry, wanted his attention. He glanced down at her.  
“Yes?” His tone was as gruff as always yet there was a hint of a surprise in there somewhere. Mary looked intently at him, unflinching and unwavering.

“Can I sit?” She pointed to his lap and Severus opened his arms so the girl could climb up into his lap. It was an odd feeling. Not that the children didn’t do it, even the previous generation had wanted to sit in his lap - well that time it was harder to accept but eventually, he had learnt to deal with having children crawl all over him. No this was an odd feeling as Mary never wanted to sit in a lap, be hugged or held in any way. She wanted no physical contact with others when it wasn’t on her terms. And everyone respected that (even though he knew it hurt her mother deeply). But she snuggled into him, her knees raised as she leaned her side into his chest and he wrapped his arms around her gently. They both looked out the window in silence for a moment.

“Does it hurt?” she asked and Severus arched a brow at her. He was still rather good at that.  
“Does what hurt?” he asked and the girl ever so slightly tilted her head.  
“Life.” Severus gawked at the girl. His mouth slightly open as that was in no way a question someone so young should ask.  
“I saw it,” she whispered, “the hurt, the bad people.” Mary fidgeted with her fingers as she looked down.  
“You saw it? Severus asked and she nodded silently.  
"Would you like to tell me?” he asked and she nodded again.

“What did you see?” He asked and she peaked up at him.  
“I see all kinds of things,” she said softly, “ some good, some bad, some make me sad. Like you. When I see things from you it makes me sad. You seem sad. It hurts,” she said and Severus was quite surprised at how well-spoken she was for her age - and the fact she barely talked.  
“Is that so?” She nodded at his words. He gave her a small smile.  
“Well, you see Mary, life is difficult. Life is hard. But it is also beautiful,” he said as he struggled to find words the little child could understand and also not to tell her too much.  
“There are good people and bad people, there is love and hate. Some choose the wrong path and end up at the wrong place,” he continued as they both yet again looked out the window.

“I don’t understand. You are good but your life was bad? Wasn’t it?” Her direct words cut through him harshly yet he smiled as she called him good. Children, unlike adults, said what they thought and felt. No filtering. Just honesty.  
“True, my life was not easy-”  
“And grandpa’s pa was mean to you. But you like grandpa? You protected him? I don’t understand.” Severus stiffened, _how do you know that?  
_ “Mary, can I ask, what exactly do you see?”  
“Well, I-” a burst of loud laughter broke through their little bubble and Mary jump a little as she grabbed on to Severus.

She relaxed again, “well I see what has happened, what might happen too. Sometimes it’s really clear but sometimes it’s hard to see. It’s, foggy. I think that is the things that might happen.”  
“I think you’re right,” Severus murmured. _Maybe she’s a seer?  
_ “Have you talked to your parents?” Mary shook her head, “Is this why you don’t want to be touched?” Mary nodded, “do you see things about people more often when they touch you?” he continued in a steady, unwavering rhythm of his thunderous yet low voice. Mary nodded again.  
“I see.”  
“That’s my line,” Mary said with an attempt at a smile. Severus smiled and gave her leg a little pat.

Yet, a thought occurred to him.  
“May I ask, why you are willing to sit with me?” Mary tensed ever so slightly.  
“Do you want to know?” Severus nodded sharply. He did indeed want to know even though he had a hunch.  
“I don’t see more foggy things from you and it feels, feels different. Feels like there is no more.” Severus sighed, he understood her words. He had felt life slip away the past year as well.

“And the bad stuff, there is not so much bad left in them. Have you, hrm… I don’t know the word.”  
“Accepted them and moved passed it?” Mary nodded that that was what she meant, “I believe so, I believe I’ve come to terms with those things in the past.”  
“But not the loneliness, I see it. The empty house. The coffee cup.” Severus sighed at that.

After a moment of silence where Mary curled up even more and leaned her head against his chest that rose and sunk with every breath.  
“I’m gonna miss you,” she said in a hushed whisper. He gently stroked the top of her head, a coldness spread through him as the realisation truly hit him. He was nearing the end of what was his life. And who knew what waited beyond the border between eh living and dead; certainly not he.

“I will miss you as well. But I won’t go far,” he said softly and she chuckled ever so slightly.  
“You shake when you talk uncle Sevy,” she said, “it feels nice.”  
“Well, I have a deep voice. It happens,” Severus said with a tired yet warm smile as he relaxed with her in his lap.  
“It’s nice,” Mary whispered and after a moment he felt her body grow heavy as she silently fell asleep cradled in his arms.

It took several minutes before Hermione appeared in the doorway, just outside of Severus view as he was watching the snowfall outside still. She silently beckoned Ron, Hugo and Hugo’s wife Ellie to come over. She pointed towards Severus and little Marry who was slumbering deeply. They all had wide smiles over their lips as they watched the scene.  
“She’s, she’s in his arms,” Ellie whispered on a suffocated sob. Hugo hugged his wife gently as tears gleamed in his eyes as well. Hermione stepped over as silently as she could.  
“I’ll take her,” she whispered and Severus arched a brow at her.  
“She’s fine here,” he said as he actually did not want to let the little girl go. Not for his sake, no, but for her sake. Little Mary, who never got human contact without an ensuing anxiety attack or crying. Little Mary, only five years old, who had to see things none should. Not only the one life she lived but everyone else’s as well. He held her softly and Hermione nodded.  
“I’ll check on you in a moment,” she said and he nodded ever so slightly. Hermione left and took the rest of the crowd that had gathered with her before she closed the door and left Severus in solitude with the sleeping child cradled ever so gently in his embrace.

When Hermione came back over an hour later Mary was sleeping even deeper. Her little hand splayed over Severus’s chest and her head slightly tilted where it rested against his arm. she was heavy ad his legs had fallen asleep but he did not mind, no he did not mind one bit as Mary had a tiny smile on her lips as she slept peacefully.  
“Should we put her to bed?” Hermione whispered and Severus nodded with a small smile. It was indeed time to let go. Hermione skillfully snuck her arms in under Mary, but the little girl stopped smiling instantly. Hermione swiftly walked out with the little girl as Hugo entered the room with Ellie in tow.  
“Thank you,” Ellie whispered as she silently cried tears of joy.  
“How did you manage to get her to sit in your lap? Please, tell us,” Hugo said and Severus gave the couple a tired smile.  
“She asked, I obliged,” he simply stated. They looked a bit confused at that. But Severus ignored it.

“You have a gifted daughter,” he said, “and I do not mean that in the general spew people cast about when it comes to children. I truly mean, she is gifted. You ought to speak with her, and get help.” This seemed to both concern and confuse the couple. Severus allowed his gaze to glide over to the window. An old man’s pleasure, to look at the world outside.   
“What, what do you mean, Severus?” Hugo asked as he crouched beside him.  
“She’s a seer,” he simply stated.

“A, a seer?” Ellie asked as she sat down on a chair next to Severus.  
“Indeed, and physical contact gives her more visions. visions of the past, the present, the future. It’s all quite much for suck a young girl. You ought to get her help, allow her to explore and train her ability before it hurts her even more,” Severus said and he did try his hardest to do so in a gentle way.  
“She told you?” Severus nodded at Hugo’s words.  
“She, she never told us she, we just thought she, was special. Had special needs…” Ellie sobbed and Hugo looked as if he was devising a plan. Severus did not really concern himself with it as he knew he would not be here long enough to see what happened. He had felt it, and with Mary’s words, he knew it. It was all ending.

Once Harry had dropped Severus off at his home and apparated back to the Burrow Severus sagged in the hallway. He was exhausted and he felt as if he could sleep for weeks. It was indeed a struggle to just undress and get ready for bed. But once he was properly tucked in while wearing his most comfortable nightshirt he slowly drifted off to the world of dreams. Little Mary’s smiling face greeted him and she took his hand in hers. It was warm and soft, gentle as she tugged him through a field of sunflowers that echoed with children’s laughter and the softest of music lingered in the wind.

The living room was filled with talk about Mary as Severus felt himself grow even more tired.  
“Severus, would you like Harry to take you home?” Ginny asked with a gentle smile as she walked up to him.  
“I presume that would be in order,” Severus said and Ginny immediately told Harry who got dressed in coat and boots as Ginny helped Severus get dressed. He felt such disgrace at being such an ordeal but Ginny kept telling him it was no trouble and that they loved to have him with them. He could not fathom why and did not dare to question it as that might have changed their minds. They were, after all, the closest thing he had to a family. How it came about he still could not quite understand but it had happened at another Christmas party many years ago.

His breathing slowed as he found peace. His heart stopped beating as he felt warmth and joy spread through his younger body in the world of dreams and love. His soul drifted away, led by Mary’s sweet smile as she called for him to come home and be free. All that was him left the world of the living and his body that still had a face etched with a soft smile. As he stepped over the border and embraced eternity Mary let go of his hand. And he knew, knew he would see her again, in many years when she was old and wise. When she had lived her life he would great her with a smile as he was no longer lonely and cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uffh, this hurt to write but at the same time, I really wanted to try my hand at this kind of sorrow and joy… This older version of Severus, this lonely version who never got a chance at love in life. but who still managed to find joy and peace in the end.
> 
> I hope you guys liked this despite it being dark/sad and different <3


	19. Christmas Market [18]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 18. Christmas Market
> 
> A/N: So something a little lighter, a little simpler, as I wrote something quite heavy yesterday and I need something lighter to follow that up with xD
> 
> Setting: Hogsmeade Christmas Market
> 
> Characters: Snape (4th year) & Filch is mentioned

Severus walked from stand to stand; his coat too big, his shoes too small, yet he smiled. He had some money saved up and would not spend them on himself. No, he was going to spend them on someone who mattered. Someone who he mattered too as well. He smiled at that has he clutched the little pouch with nearly six galleons in it.

He was hoping to find a good gift for his friend and nearly father figure, to be honest, Argus Filch. the man who many treated with disrespect or indifference, or they sneered at him. The man who wasn’t perhaps the happiest of people but Severus had been taken in by him and they had grown in their relationship. He was the one person at Hogwarts who seemed to genuinely care for Severus just as he was. not how good he was at a subject, or how punctual and quiet he was at lessons. Argus just cared about him for being him. He only had to exist to be accepted by the man and none had ever cared in such a way for him earlier.

Everywhere vendors called and smiled, but he couldn’t find anything that would be a good gift for Argus. No matter how hard he looked. He had even turned and gone back down the street to find something. There were trinkets and knitted scarfs, lanterns and garlands, toys and varying drinks. Yet nothing appealed to him.

_What do I do now?_ He wondered as he stood a little way to the side so as not to be in the way for anyone. He sighed and pondered what he could possibly get Argus. It couldn’t be something that required magic, and it had to be something nice, something thoughtful and useful. Argus hated trinkets and items with no use.

_Think Severus, think… What does he need?_ he wondered as his feet started to move through the jolly crowd. some carried many bags of shopping while some seemed to be merely enjoying the event. but Severus were to busy with his own thoughts to notice any of them. _come on, something he wants, needs - anything!_ He nearly screamed at himself. Was he truly that thoughtless that he had not noticed anything Argus could want for Christmas?

He kicked some snow away in anger as he muttered about his own idiocy for not paying more attention.  
“Oy, Oy, son, don’t get snow on the goods,” a large man chuckled out with a friendly smile before he vanished the snow with a flick of his wand.  
“I’m sorry, I apologize- I, I didn’t mean to,” he blurted out as the man had pulled him abruptly from his own thoughts.  
“Looking for a gift? Having some trouble perhaps?” the man asked with loud laughter as Severus’s cheeks heated and blushed while he visibly shrunk a bit.

Severus kept walking around the stands, searching and thinking. That’s when he found it. The perfect gift for Argus. He stared at the pocket watch made of silver. It was nothing special, really. It was as simple as could be with a plain chain and no unnecessary adornments. He just had to have it. It would be perfect with the new waistcoat he had bought the man for his birthday last year.

“Well, I don’t know what he wants…”  
“Oh, I don’t believe many know what anyone truly wants. I think the thought’s what matters, ‘innit?” the man said with a friendly smile and Severus pondered on his words.  
“Maybe,” he muttered before he excused himself from the vendor who waved goodbye before turning to some new customers.  
“Madam, how much is that pocket watch?” he asked without taking his eyes off the item as the lady minding the stand came over.  
“Oh, that’s five galleons and three sickle,” she said. Severus gave the woman a sneer.

“For that?” he asked, he would pay it but it didn’t hurt to try and get the price down a bit.  
“Well, it’s a very simple item that goes along with anything, and made of silver. It’s worth the price,” she stated and Severus huffed.  
“Four galleons and five sickle and I’ll take it,” he said.  
“Five galleons,” the lady countered with.  
“Four galleons and five sickle,” Severus restated.

The lady gave him a harsh look but his face was passive and gave nothing away. So the lady sighed.  
“Oh alright, it’s Christmas and all, here.” She handed him the pocket watch and he handed over the money.  
“Thank you for your purchase,” she mumbled and Severus nodded before he hid the pocket watch in his coats rather large pockets. His body felt all warm and tingly as he walked with brisk steps through the chatty crowd - wanting to get back to Hogwarts as soon as possible to wrap the gift. He was so excited and Christmas could not come fast enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really love Argus and Severus together in father/son-like relationship :D I think the scruffy janitor could well have taken a liking to the young boy as he most likely saw him as an outcast just as Argus had been (being a squib and all). I really think they could have a healthy and happy relationship so I just felt like writing this out :D Hope you enjoyed it <3


	20. Deck the Great Hall [19]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 19. Deck The Great Hall
> 
> A/N: So I had another fic in mind for this but to do that one justice I’d need about 6-8k words and I simply don’t have the time currently :s It’s 9.30 am over here as I’m starting on this fic and I feel a bit stressed about all the things I need to get done IRL as we are drawing nearer to Christmas but I’ll be damned if I don’t manage to finish Snapemas xD
> 
> Setting: Hogwarts, The Great Hall
> 
> Pairing: Snape x Teacher!Reader (Head of Gryffindor House)
> 
> ABBR.: |(y/n)|

“Red!” you said decidedly as you looked with crossed arms at Severus. He sneered and arched his brow.  
“Green,” he simply stated before he waved his wand and with the use of Colovaria changed the colour of the decorations. You hissed and stomped your foot.  
“I said red,” you huffed and waved your wand to change the colour again.  
“Green is better!”  
“No, red is better!”  
“It’s because you’re head of Gryffindor!” he growled. You tsked at him as he changed the colours yet again to green.  
“I could say the same for you!” you snarled as the colours around you changed for the umpteenth time to red.

You both leaned closer to each other in anger and frustration as your wands worked tirelessly to change the colours around you. It went so fast now that the decorations barely had time to stay as one colour for more than two seconds at a time. The Great Hall was more like a disco ball than anything else at that moment. You both refused to back down. He had been a Grinch the last month and you would not give in again as he had already decided your shared quarters would house no decorations for the holiday and it had bummed you out.

You knew Christmas wasn’t his favourite holiday, not that he had such a thing, and you also loved him dearly - almost desperately - so you had allowed him refuge as the rest of Hogwarts was decorated. All you had put up was two stockings hanging at the mantel with your names on one each. But you would not give in this time, no sir!

“Why are you even helping to decorate?” you asked on a snarl, “you don’t even like Christmas, you don’t even let me decorate our own place!” Your voice rose as you suddenly realised how hurt you were by his inability to see how much Christmas meant to you. It was your favourite holiday of the year as it was the only time your family had played nice as your extended family was around. It was the only time you had felt safe in your childhood and the only time you dared be happy as you grew up.

Severus arched a brow at you as the fight you both were having in the middle of the Great Hall drew the attention of other staff members.  
“(y/n),” he said in a growled murmur but you slammed your foot down so hard it echoed out into the Entrance Hall.  
“I let you take away Christmas for me, why can’t you just let me have this?!” you screamed while sobbing. Something changed in him at that moment. He had not felt as though you had minded so much not to decorate your shared quarters. But he had obviously been mistaken.

“(y/n), I did not-” But he was interrupted as Headmistress McGonagall stepped up with cold eyes and rapid steps.  
“You are both out of line! Control yourselves, for Merlin’s sake, you are not teenagers. Whatever you’re arguing about take it up in private. Now leave, go!” McGonagall said with a booming voice that was not to be argued with. You gawked at her while Severus seemed unaffected by the Headmistress’s words. But you were not one to disobey your boss, so you left the Great Hall with rushed strides as Severus followed quickly behind you, calling your name and asking you to stop. But you couldn’t. You were too upset, too hurt. 

You managed to keep your tears at bay until you reached your shared quarters and it was as if someone hit you with a brick as the lack of Christmas decorations was all too apparent when you had just walked away from the Great Hall.  
“So empty,” you mumbled through a sob as the tears came the moment you stepped inside. You were about to slam the door shut when Severus grabbed it and pushed himself in. You were furious for what he had done.

“(y/n), I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-” You glared at him as your hands shoved at him in pure anger. He didn’t move an inch as there was no real force behind your push.  
“Why did you do that? Why do you have to take this from me? I give you everything and I can’t have one single thing?!” Your voice was hoarse and broken as you sobbed and tears streamed down your cheeks. It hurt, you had not decorated for Easter, for all hallows eve, Thanksgiving, or Christmas. You didn’t even celebrate Valentine’s Day as he saw it as nonsense. You gave it all up because you loved him so damn much you put him before you without making a fuss. You just wanted to make him happy and in the end, you had deprived yourself of the one thing that had always been happy in your life.

He seemed at a loss for words at first.  
“(y/n), what do you mean?” You gawked at him, hurt and angry. Mad beyond belief.  
“What I mean? _WHAT I MEAN?!_ ” you screamed at him and you were sure the whole castle heard you. He took a step back as you leaned closer, your face red with anger.  
“No Easter, no Halloween, no thanksgiving, _NO FUCKING VALENTINE’S DATE?!_ And now, now I don’t even get Christmas?! Why are you so _fucking cruel?!_ ” Your words finally leaked out of you but as they did so, those last words slipped out as well and you saw him flinch.

It knocked the anger right out of you as you had worked so hard to make him comfortable with you, make him happy with you, make him feel your love for him. You sighed deeply as the previous anger turned to sorrow. _Perhaps, I love him too much…_ You thought as you realised just how much you had given up just to be with him. How much you had deprived yourself, held yourself back so as not to make him uncomfortable. It was bordering on ridiculous.

“I’m, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to say that,” you whispered as you snivelled. But he didn’t say anything, he just stared at you. His gaze was as intense as it could possibly be. You couldn’t read him, didn’t know what he was thinking or feeling and it made your stomach hurt.

“I did not know you wanted to celebrate those things,” he said after a moment. You blinked, confused and somewhat in shock.  
“You never showed such wants and wishes when we discussed those things,” he continued and you gawked at him yet again. What kind of idiocy was that? Who the hell didn’t want to celebrate such things as Christmas and Valentine? you could not understand how he could be under that impression at all.  
“You said no, you said you didn’t like the holidays, you said it was unnecessary nonsense…” Your voice was low and trembling as you allowed the hurt you felt to be seen by him.

It took a moment but then he wrapped you in his arms.  
“If you had told me you wanted to celebrate I would have gladly done so, (y/n).” You shivered at his words as your arms snaked around his waist.  
“But you said you hated all that kind of stuff…”  
“Whenever have I said that?” he asked and you sighed.  
“When we met, it was nearly Easter and you said you found the holidays to be a disturbance and a nuisance that was complete nonsense, I believe those were your exact words.” Severus scoffed at that, but you kept on speaking.  
“And you always complained and grumbled about how silly it was, how unnecessary and how much you did not enjoy Christmas, or any other holiday…”

You pressed your face into his shoulders as he sighed deeply.  
“Are you being deliberately stupid?” he asked you on a huff and you jerked back only to be met by his soft eyes and a gentle smile that covered his thin lips. You furrowed your brows as he huffed again.  
“(y/n),” his fingers under your chin tilted your head back, “I do believe I have been helping you decorate Hogwarts ever since we started dating, I also believe those words of mine were before you were a part of my life, no?” You nodded gently and he smirked.  
“Well, do you not think I have changed for the better since you became mine?” He asked and you thought about it for a moment before you nodded.

He wasn’t wrong, he had changed quite a bit since before you were partners.  
“You never showed enthusiasm about holidays, you asked once what I had planned and I said I didn’t see the point with those things and you just agreed. How, do tell me, was I supposed to know you wanted to actually celebrate? Please do enlighten me on how I was supposed to know you wanted that?” He said and your cheeks blushed scarlet. He was right, oh how right he was and how bloody wrong you were…

“I’m, sorry…” you said as you looked into his eyes and he nodded. He never was one to hold things against you for any length of time as he could clearly see you understood how wrong you had been in the situation.  
“Now, shall we go back o decorate the Great Hall, or do you want to decorate here?” he asked with a soft purr to his voice. you eyes turned wide and you beamed at him as e smiled at you.  
“You mean-?” He nodded and you sashed your lips against his as you were just too filled with joy.


	21. Joyous Chorus [20]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 20. Joyous Chorus
> 
> A/N: So this is both a fic and a sing-along! I hope you’re familiar with “12 Days of Christmas” since I have rewritten the lyrics so you can all happily sing along! :D <3 (This took me longer than I would like to admit xD)
> 
> Setting: Hogwarts, The end of term choir singing in the Great Hall
> 
> Characters: Snape & his daughter Angela (Mentions of others)

Severus had never enjoyed all the Christmas nonsense - with the singing, the decorating and the jolly mood. No he had never enjoyed it for one bit. Well, that’s what he had thought before his daughter came to the world. Sure, his wife had made the holiday cheerful and sweet, tolerable. But Angela, she made it enjoyable and happy.

Ever since she came to the world, just before Christmas 12 years ago, he had loved the holiday. He had changed quite a bit and the student he now had would most likely not pair him with the Grinch as many had done years before. Now he was just like anyone else around Christmas. Happy and cheerful with a smile on his thin lips and a light spring in his step. You see Christmas, it was to him a family holiday and he had never had a family before but now that he did he understood the joy and relished in his daughters happiness. Not to mention all the blabber about gifts, cookies, stockings and twinkling lights.

So as the day had nearly passed and the afternoon arrived he was sat with his colleagues while Albus held his Christmas/End of term speech. He didn’t really pay it any mind as he was eagerly waiting for what came after. The choir, which his little Angela was part of. So as Albus finished up his blabbering Severus straightened. The stage was filling up with students of all ages - some holding instruments and some dressed in Christmas costumes. His little Angela wore a reindeer antlers diadem made of felt covered in red glitter and her red Christmas dress sparkled as Severus himself had cast a spell upon it to make it glitter and glow as she moved.

Severus smiled as his heart filled with love for the girl ha was so utterly proud of. _If only your mother could be here_ , he thought with a sigh. But parents were not welcome at the ending ceremony at Christmas. He was just lucky to watch as he was a professor and no strings could be pulled as it would have been unfair to all other parents.

Severus smiled as Angela looked over her shoulder with a bright grin only for him. Flitwick commanded silence and the focus of the choir before he spoke.  
“We have a treat for you today. A remake of sorts, a Muggle song rewritten by our very own Ms Craytone,” he said in that squeeky tone of his. There were some murmurs but Flitwick tapped his foot and silence came again. Severus straightened and then the choir began to sing.

🎶 _On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me a Mandrake with a loud scream._

_On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me two Flobberworms and a Mandrake with a loud scream._

_On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me three Fudge Flies, two Flobberworms, and a Mandrake with a loud scream._

_On the fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to me four Chocolate Frogs, three Fudge Flies, two Flobberworms and a Mandrake with a loud scream._

_On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me five Giant Ghouls, four Chocolate Frogs, three Fudge Flies, two Flobberworms and a Mandrake with a loud scream._

_On the sixth day of Christmas my true love sent to me six Leaky Cauldrons, five Giant Ghouls, four Chocolate Frogs, three Fudge Flies, two Flobberworms and a Mandrake with a loud scream._

_On the seventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me seven wands a waving, six Leaky Cauldrons, five Giant Ghouls, four Chocolate Frogs, three Fudge Flies, two Flobberworms and a Mandrake with a loud scream._

_On the eighth day of Christmas my true love sent to me eight Owls a Hooting, seven wands a waving, six Leaky Cauldrons, five Giant Ghouls, four Chocolate Frogs, three Fudge Flies, two Flobberworms and a Mandrake with a loud scream._

_On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me nine Howlers Howling, eight Owls a Hooting, seven wands a waving, six Leaky Cauldrons, five Giant Ghouls, four Chocolate Frogs, three Fudge Flies, two Flobberworms and a Mandrake with a loud scream._

_On the tenth day of Christmas my true love sent to me ten Potions Brewing, nine Howlers Howling, eight Owls a Hooting, seven wands a waving, six Leaky Cauldrons, five Giant Ghouls, four Chocolate Frogs, three Fudge Flies, two Flobberworms and a Mandrake with a loud scream._

_On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me eleven Seekers Seeking, ten Potions Brewing, nine Howlers Howling, eight Owls a Hooting, seven wands a waving, six Leaky Cauldrons, five Giant Ghouls, four Chocolate Frogs, three Fudge Flies, two Flobberworms and a Mandrake with a loud scream._

_On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me twelve Fainting Fancys, eleven Seekers Seeking, ten Potions Brewing, nine Howlers Howling, eight Owls a Hooting, seven wands a waving, six Leaky Cauldrons, five Giant Ghouls, four Chocolate Frogs, three Fudge Flies, two Flobberworms and a Mandrake with a loud scream._ _🎶_

All through the performance Severus watched his daughter with a wide smile. She looked as happy as could be and her little body swayed along with the music a little as she happily sand with the others. His heart was ready to burst at the sight and sound of her. So when the song ended he rose with everyone else and clapped happily for the children, but mostly for his beloved daughter he beamed at him over her shoulder for a moment. Then they sand another three songs before they took their bows and left the stage.

Angela skipped over to Hufflepuff where she sat among her many friends, well-liked as the little girl was and Severus was just so proud.  
“She sings wonderfully,” Minerva said with a smile as she was sat beside him. He nodded,  
“Indeed she does, much like her mother.” Minerva nodded in agreement as she knew very well how good a singer Severus’s wide had been and was.  
“I bet you get to heart lots of singing during Christmas,” Minerva continued in a happy voice and Severus chuckled.  
“Indeed, indeed.”

After dinner the students filed out of the Great Hall; ready to head off to gather their belongings before taking the train back to Kings Cross. But not Angela. She ran up to Severus who had rounded the staff’s table and he caught her just in time as she leaped into his arms despite being nearly 12.  
“Did you hear me dad, did you?” she giggled out as they shared a tight hug.  
“You sing beautifully sweetheart,” he said softly as he placed her on her feet. She beamed at him and for a moment it struck him just how much she looked like her mother. Except her hair and eyes. They were clearly his traits. _Thank Merlin it wasn’t the nose she inherited from me._

“Do we go home to mom now?” she asked while she straightened the antlers on her little head. He smiled softly with warmth.  
“Correct, I think she would like to hear this new song you sang. Don’t you think?” Angela beamed for she twirled around and ran out of the Great Hall while shouting about saying goodbye to her friends before leaving. Severus just looked at the bouncing little human in the glowing dress with the antlers that left glitter in the air and could not help to be relieved at seeing she was nothing at all like he had been at her age.

He was utterly thankful for that as it meant she did not experience the hardships he had and he was not, in any way, turning out like his own father. She was being raised right, _probably a lot to thank her mom for in that regard._ He chuckled as he remembered how utterly useless he had been in the beginning, how many mistakes he had made and how hard he tried to make it right. But his darling wife always helped him, guided him, and in the end he turned out to be quite a good father. When he was given the chance (and with his wife’s extreme patience and helping hand of course).

In the end he had found his way and his daughter always felt his love. He was sure of that. Warmth spread through his chest as he stood still in remembrance and thankful joy. The singing from earlier seemed to linger in the walls and he could not help but hear Angela’s voice singing about screaming Mandrakes and giant ghouls in a faint echo.   
“Who would even want a screaming Mandrake for a gift?” He murmured on a chuckle as he shook his head before heading of to meet up with Angela outside his quarters in the dungeons. More than ready to head home and enjoy the holiday with plenty of singing, but hopefully no giant ghouls or howling Howlers as the choir so happily had sang about.


	22. Christmas Present [21]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 21. Christmas Present
> 
> A/N: This is a continuation of prompt 18. Christmas Market ^^ Hope you’ll enjoy it! :D
> 
> Setting: Hogwarts, Filch’s quarters
> 
> Characters: Snape & Filch

Severus could barely contain himself as he walked through Hogwarts, Argus’s gift in his hands and a smile across his thin lips. He hoped and begged that his gift would be received with joy by Argus. But he was nervous, so damn nervous his legs felt wobbly when he finally reached the door.

It took him a moment to gather himself enough to knock on the worn door. It opened within a short moment. And there was Argus. He looked clean and nice, he was wearing the waistcoat Severus had given him for his birthday last year. It looked nice on him and made Severus so incredibly happy to see.  
“Merry Christmas,” Severus said with a slight vibration to his voice and Argus smiled.  
“Merry Christmas. Come in lad,” he said as he stepped aside and Severus went in. The gift still clutched in his pale hands.

Argus’s home at Hogwarts (well, his only home that is) was scarcely decorated but there was a little tree and beneath it laid three gifts. Severus sneaked over and saw two were addressed to him and one was for Mrs. Norris. His heart thumped a little harder as he placed his present with the others. He could not quite understand he had been so lucky as to befriend Argus in such a way. The man was disliked, no question, but he was gentle and kind to Severus. How it came about was a long story but Severus was happy it had happened.

Argus meandered over while he straightened his coat.  
“We’ll do the gifts in a minute lad,” he said, “First we talk about what we hope for next year. A little tradition from my family.” Severus nodded and they both walked over to the worn couch and Mrs. Norris happily joined them. A little red bow that matched her blood-red eyes tied around her neck. She easily jumped up and landed in Severus’s lap, purring instantly as he stroked her back gently with the tips of his fingers.

“You start lad, what do you wish for next year?” Severus pondered the question for a minute but he really didn’t need to.  
“That the Marauders will stop bullying me for existing. And maybe, make a friend my own age who doesn’t just tolerate me,” Severus said as his cheeks took on a slight blush. Argus nodded. He understood Severus and didn’t reprimand him for wanting so little out of life. He knew the boy had had a rough start and was still in a rough place. So he simply slapped his thighs and looked at him.

“I wish whoever keeps sticking gum to walls and floors will die a painful death so I don’t have to scrape away anymore of that stuff. Merlin knows where that mouth has been,” he grumbled out. Severus chuckled slightly.  
“Oh mark my words laddie, when I find the culprit I’ll hang him by his thumbs until he screams.” Severus chuckled again as Argus had a wicked gleam to his eyes, as if he really hoped his wish would come true. It easily distracted him from his own problems and the relief was indeed welcome.

Sure, Argus was a dark and spiteful person. He was brutal and harsh. Much like Severus’s own father. But Argus was very different. The man always had a reason, he never did anything not approved by the headmaster and he was at the core a gentle but misunderstood person who had been cast aside much like Severus himself. So the two got along splendidly.  
“Let’s hope both our wishes come true, lad.” Severus nodded and Mrs. Norris jumped of his lap to saunter over to the trees where the gifts laid. As if she knew it was time.  
“Very well girl, impatient as ever,” Argus said with a smile that showed his yellowing teeth.

“But the boy first.”  
“No no, ladies first,” Severus aid with a grin towards Mrs. Norris who sat by her present.  
“Well lookie here girl, a gentleman,” Argus said as he patted Severus’s shoulder harshly but in a nice way.

Mrs. Norris played around with the little red mouse made of felt that scurried around the room, enchanted by a spell that only needed the cats attention to kick in. Severus and Argus looked at her as she jumped, spun and chased the little toy all over the floor. Obviously happy with her gift.  
“Now you lad,” Argus said and handed over the two gifts addresses to him. One from Argus himself and one from the cat. Severus opened the latter first and was met by a weird looking piece of fabric. He tilted his head in question.

“When you are older,” Argus said with a soft voice, you can wear this. It’s called a cra-vat, fancy word, I think I’m pronouncing it wrong but nonetheless. It goes around your neck. Rather fancy thing but I believe Mrs. Norris thought it might suit such a handsome boy as yourself lad,“ Argus grumbled and Severus smiled as his heart hammered.  
"I believe it goes well with a frock coat,” Argus continued, “And I believe you would look rather splendid in one of those fancy things.” Severus held the fabric with gentle hands and nodded. One day he would wear it, he would wear a cravat and a frock coat, one day when he was older.

“Go on lad, open the other,” Argus urged him and Severus did just that. Inside the box laid a brand new bag made of thick black leather with golden details. Severus gawked at the item as he was mesmerized by it. His hand gently touched the leather and a tiny wave of goosebumps travelled up his arm by the smoothness of it.

He looked towards Argus as his head filled with questions.  
“Don’t look so alarmed lad, I noticed your bag was falling apart. Can’t have you dropping important school stuff,” he said and Severus gave him a wide smile before he returned his gaze to the bag. He picked it up and inspected it. It had a multitude of pockets inside so he could organise all this things and there was enough space to carry at least five books in it. It was perfect, absolutely perfect. He couldn’t wait to stuff it with all his school things and carry it with him to every class.  
“Thank you so much,” he whispered as his eyes watered a bit. Argus nodded and clapped his hands together before rubbing them against each other.  
“Now, I believe there is one more present?” He said with a broad smile and Severus immediately ran over to the tree and got it. He didn’t use magic infront of Argus, he saw enough of it outside his own home and Severus did not want to remind the man of what he did not have.

He handed over the gift wrapped in striped paper with green string around it. His heart hammered and his palms turned a little sweaty as his nerves were reaking havoc in him.  
“Merry Christmas,” he said as Argus grabbed the gift with his harsh hands covered in little scars. Argus ripped open the present and Mrs. Norris took command of the string that fell to the floor. As Argus lifted the lid of the box he froze in his movements. Not a word or expression on his face. He just blankly stared at the pocket watch made of silver with little to no details. Severus stomach tightened. It nearly hurt as worry set in. Perhaps he had not managed to buy a good gift after all?

“Lad…” Argus mumbled as he hesitantly picked up the pocket watch. Severus kept his eyes fixed on him as he inspected the watch with clear eyes.  
“It is perfect,” Argus said in a low voice before a smile broke out across his face and he held the pocket watch tighter, “Absolutely perfect, splendid my dear boy,” he continued and the pain in Severus’s stomach disappeared as it was replaced with warmth.  
“You like it?” he asked with a low voice and Argus whipped his head around.  
“I love it, lad,” he said as he put the watch in place. Fastened in his waist coat and then placed in the little pocket that was truly only there for a pocket watch. Severus beamed at him and before he knew it Argus had taken him in a warm hug.

The man patted the boys back and thanked him for the wonderful gift as Severus did the same. More than happy with the gifts he had received. Mrs. Norris jumped up and squeezed herself in between them with a loud purr as the man and boy split apart.  
“Thank you as well my lovely lady,” Severus said with a smile as he scratched the cat under her chin. She tilted her head ever so slightly so he could reach better and as Severus looked up he saw Argus smiling down at the pocket watch he then held in his hand. It was the best Christmas they both had had so far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this one! I really like Argus and Severus in a father/son-like relationship. It also as close friends. I can’t exactly say why but I find them to fit with each other. Both when Severus is young and when he is older. ^^ And everyone deserves gifts at Christmas, even scruffy old Filch and Mrs. Norris <3


	23. Trembling [22]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 22. Trembling
> 
> A/N: So I’m not much for writing young Snape romantically - I much prefer the older one - but I got a little idea for a story and I wanted to try it out. I hope I managed to do the idea in my head some sort of justice and that you all enjoy it <3
> 
> Setting: Hogwarts, the day before leaving for the holidays
> 
> Pairing: Snape x Reader (both in their seventh year at Hogwarts)
> 
> ABBR.: │ (y/n) - Your Name │ (y/l/n) - Your Last Name │

_**Prologue:** You have been in love with Severus for nearly two years now, but he had seemed oblivious to you and each time you had tried to befriend him, or even talk to him, he had been nearly cruel in his words as he pushed you away in all manners possible. But you were resilient and would not quit bugging him in your efforts to catch his attention. But, even you had a limit to what you could take and you were balancing on it after such a long time of giving it your best effort to get him to allow you into his life; and hopefully heart._

He was soaked. You heard the laughter and the snickering as he stood absolutely still in pure shock while water drenched him, soaked his clothes and flattened his long black hair. Your heart skipped a beat as tears sprung to your eyes as you stood halfway up the stairs watching him below you. _Those fucking Marauders! They’re so damn cruel!_ As that thought ran through your head you heard the howling laughter of those exact people.

Your head whipped around, your eyes instantly locked on James, Sirius, Remus, Peter and Lily. They stood on the staircase just above Severus; Sirius and James each held a bucket each that had obviously been filled with the water that had been dumped over Severus. You were fuming, your fists clenched at your sides as you watched them laugh. Except for Lily, she just sneered at Severus with a tired look. _How can she just fucking stand there? How cold can a person be? At least the other idiots claim their actions and their ugly sides… But she,_ you were fuming as your eyes shoot figurative bolts of lightning at the girl who was one of the reasons Severus had not accepted your requests at being friends - or even on speaking terms. You knew that. You knew how he looked at her, and damn it hurt. 

“Oy, Snivellus, feeling a bit cleaner?” James laughed out with a high five from Sirius who howled with laughter. Remus chuckled, Peter looked happy and Lily seemed to care more about her nails than the scene that was unfurling in front of her. You clenched your jaw as your eyes switched view and landed on Severus who was still standing absolutely still as water pooled around his feet. Your heart clenched at the sight of him, your stomach twisted and you started to tremble with fuming, glowing, boiling rage. It coursed through your every fibre as your hand unclenched and reached for your wand.

It all happened so fast. Your actions fuelled by the dooming rage that pulsed through you as you directed the tip of your wand towards the idiots one floor up and in the next instant they were soaking wet as a fountain of water spewed from your wand. Fuelled by your raging emotions. Silence fell as the sound of water took over. It only took a single moment to drench them all - and a few bystanders. But they had laughed too so why the heck not?

“(y/l/n)! NO-!” Severus screamed and it pulled you out of the pounding emotions that that locked you in your stance as water finally stopped spewing from your wand. You were panting, your hand and wand trembled as you shook from your own shocking action. You had never done anything like that before. _Seven years at Hogwarts and I, I lose control now-?!_ You thought as your hand lowered while the Marauders were still coughing and trying to get up of the floor as the water had truly flown out of your wand like a wave and crashed into them with force.

You turned your head towards Severus who gawked at you. Except for the sloshing of wet clothes and some coughing, the silence was as thick as morning fog. He looked at you, shocked and perhaps taken aback from your actions. For a moment you were just frozen in place as the realisation hit you. You had stooped to their level. You had retaliated - rather splendidly as well might you add.

But the look Severus gave you wasn’t a happy one, it wasn’t thankful or grateful. He looked horrified and it broke your heart. Tears sprung to your eyes and in an instant, your legs began moving. You hurled yourself down the stairs as students started to whisper and point. You passed Severus in a rush, unable to look at anyone as you tried to keep the tears from falling freely. As you tried to keep your heart in one piece in your chest.

You barrelled your way through corridor after corridor until you got to the courtyard at the back. You flung yourself through the doors as the faint echo of your name being called reached you. But you ran. Ran and cried. Stumbled and sobbed. Somehow, you ended up at the Whomping Willow at the edge of the Forbidden Forrest. You stopped outside of its reach as you heaved for air. Your lungs burned as your cheeks turned wet from tears.

You tried to force air into your lungs, tried to confine the emotions that raged through you like the crashing of waves on a stormy sea seeking to devour all ships. To sink all things and snatch them from the light, clutch them in the deep dark of eternal night. _Just, breath, breath, maybe he-, maybe he doesn’t hate- no, that look…_ A sharp pain shot through you, it echoed through your soul as the look on Severus’s face flashed before your inner eye.

You sobbed and snivelled as you tried to wipe away the salty tears. Your legs were shaking and your hands still trembled. Your chest felt too tight, yet it could have caved in on itself at the same time from the hollow feeling. How was that even possible? Could you break so badly you turned hollow?

A twig snapped, your head whipped around as Severus called out your name with a hoars voice. as if he had been screaming for a long time. Your eyes widened as he appeared at the top of the hill a little ways away from you.  
“Leave me alone!” you screamed at him with a broken voice as you were still crying. He started to run towards you on those long slender legs.  
“(y/n), you-”  
“Leave me alone!” you screamed again as you started to step backwards. As you tried to increase the distance he so hastily shortened.

“(Y/N), DON’T-” he screamed and you saw that horrible expression of horror again in his eyes and it hit you with such force you stumbled from the recent memory in the Entrance Hall. You were just about to fall when your breath was knocked out of you as something hard hit your back so harshly you landed face forward in the cold snow with a thud. You lost your bearing as your head had taken quite a hit against the ground. The tiny layer of snow did nothing to dampen the blow.

“(Y/N)! RUN!” Severus screamed as you tried to lift yourself up of the ground. _What the-_ but you had no more time to think as a large tree branch slammed itself down right next to you. Missing you by merely the width of a wand. You tried to force air into your lungs after the previous harsh blow as your head spun and your back protested against any movement you tried to force your body to do. Severus shouted at you to move, run, get away - but you couldn’t get up.

“ _MOVE!_ ” he screamed and you rolled away just in time before another branch slammed down where you had laid a mere second earlier. You managed to get up in a crawling position and threw yourself forward with all your strength. You were nearly, nearly out of reach for the damn tree as it slammed its branches down again. The tip of one struck your foot and the force of the blow made you scream out in pain as Severus grabbed your hands and pulled you away from the tree with such force you landed on top of him.

You both laid panting on the wet, cold ground as the tree straightened and stopped flinging its branches around. You tried to catch your breath as Severus held onto you. You barely realized it at first but once your mind became aware of him beneath you, his arms around your waist, his face so close to your own… Your breath hitched, you tensed and you flung yourself off him so fast you had to scramble to find your own limbs in the flailing mess you were.

You managed to get up, somehow, as he rose elegantly despite his long limbs. Your heart hammered as he looked at you. Your mouth went dry as the memory of his horror-filled eyes from earlier flashed by as he still had a slight look of horror etched in those onyx galaxies that were his eyes. You couldn’t bear to look at him when he wore that expression you knew came from anger at you, or perhaps even hatred at what you had done. It made no sense that he would be angry with you for defending him but you still saw it, felt it. It couldn’t be anything else when his eyes wore such an expression.

You turned around as you hugged yourself. Your back ached, your body shook and you felt fresh tears as they leaked from your eyes. You sobbed as some form of reality hit you that you had fucked up and now, he would never allow you to be close to him. Perhaps now he wouldn’t just dismiss you but effectively shut you out… You shivered as the thoughts of his hatred and rejection ran through you.

“Are you cold?” Severus asked and his voice frightened you so you jumped slightly as it came from such close proximity. You twisted your head at the same time only to find him mere inches from you. You froze. Never had he been so close before as he had been that day. Before it was unintentional but now, he had stood himself right by you.

“(y/n), are you cold?” he asked again as you couldn’t make a sound. All you could think of, all you could feel, was your pounding heart and his beautiful eyes paired with the long black hair that screamed for you to reach out and run your fingers through it. But you didn’t, of course, you didn’t do that. But you wanted to, oh by Merlin how you wanted to touch those silky strands. but you merely looked at him as your body vibrated from the shivers as you were without any proper attire to be outside in such cold temperatures. 

In the next moment, it was like you realised he spoke to you, realised he was so close, realised he had followed you - called for you and basically saved you from the deadly tree. You took a step back from him as uncertainty crawled through you. How angry was he with you? Did he hate you now? Was that what his eyes were screaming at you? You hadn’t a clue and it freaked you out immensely. You felt your face turn pale - from the thoughts, the worry, but also the physical pain you were in as the tree had landed two harsh blows on you.

“Why did you do that?” he asked and his words surprised you, he sounded angry, or perhaps exasperated - you couldn’t quite tell as his voice was so damn deep it thundered out of his mouth no matter what he said.  
“I-, I-” But you found no words. You had never confessed your feelings to him, you had only ever dared hope to perhaps befriend him. Why would he, excellent as he was, be interested in you? You weren’t anything special or fancy, nor were you excellent as he was. You were, quite frankly, just you.

He raised a brow slightly at you and a blush crept in as you folded your eyes towards the ground. His was just too deep, too wide, to hexing to look into any longer. You feared you would drown if you kept staring into them as they swirled with black stardust.  
“You shouldn’t have done that,” he murmured on a small sigh and you lowered your head as your shoulders shot up towards your ears.  
“I’m sorry, I, I just wanted to- I couldn’t just stand by and watch. They’re, they’re horrendous…” Your voice was low yet you managed to squeeze out the words through the lump that had formed in your throat.

“They are, you shouldn’t have butted in (y/n), you should have just let it-” You whipped up your head with a glare towards him. Suddenly quite angry with him instead.  
“You shouldn’t be treated like that! You shouldn’t have to deal with shit like that!” you shouted as he stared at you, “It’s not fair! They treat you worse than garbage! I can’t- I can’t stand it! I can’t just look, I can’t just stand by and let them torment the one I love-” Your hand covered your mouth instantly without even finishing your sentence.

You stared at him with wide eyes as he did the same at you. Your words felt heavy in the air as your body stiffened, prepared to run for the hills if need be.  
“You- you what?” Severus stuttered out and your face turned scarlet as he gawked at you. His eyes impossibly large and the usual pale skin a tad flushed. You couldn’t help how your heart pounded, how your body trembled and shook - how your entire being screamed at you to run as if your life depended on it. But you were utterly frozen. Your boots stuck to the ground. Your shoulders stiff while your legs felt like jelly.

_Well, that’s one way to fucking do it,_ you thought as reality started to entwine with that fantasy world of yours. Just, perhaps not in the way you had wanted it to as Severus yet again looked horrified, or maybe disgusted, you couldn’t quite be sure. It was difficult to tell what went on inside of him but it appeared to be negative, whatever it was.

You let your hand fall away from your mouth, it limply landed beside your body as if something just left you, some will or power perhaps. Something, hope or perhaps a dream.  
“I love you,” you whispered as tears once again welled in your eyes, “I love you and I’m sorry to disgust you like that.” You exhaled as the tears started to fall. It was over. Your fantasy world where you were by his side, loved by him, came crashing down as if it were an avalanche set on tumbling down a mountainside. You crumbled along with it. As good as buried beneath its weight, as good as dead as your hollow chest felt as if it had truly caved in on itself.

You turned from him, your body felt as if it were not your own. You felt naked in reality; stripped of that one piece of a dream you had held on to for dear life for such a long time. You started to walk away from him only to be held back by slim fingers wrapped around your wrist. You looked over your shoulder, your eyes landed right at his swirling galaxies of onyx and black stardust that looked intently yet harshly on you.

“I told you to stay away,” he growled, you nodded, “I told you to ignore me,” he continued and you nodded once more. He sighed, deeply.  
“I told you, over and over, not to butt in.” You nodded once more as you wiped away tears from your cheeks with your free hand. The wind swiped over you and tossed about his black hair as you shivered from its frozen fangs that nibbled at you through the thin clothes you wore.

He tugged on your arm, you stumbled a step towards him. When you looked up he glared down at you.  
“I told you,” he hissed, “to stay, away.” In the next instant, his lips smashed against yours. Harshly. It took you a moment to realise what happened and then his lips were gone as you gawked at him.  
“I told you, to stay, away. I told you so many damn times (y/n). So, many, times,” he hissed as his arms snaked around you. You looked at him, confused. Yet your body, it seemed to know what to do. As if it were second nature to be close to him. As if the stars had aligned and the world was righted when he was in your embrace and you in his.

His lips pressed against yours again and this time your fingers snared themselves in his hair as you kissed him back. It felt as if life were breathed into you. As if some of the endless universe that swirled inside of him filled the hollow in your chest and leaked out to fill your entire being.  
“I told you,” he grumbled against your lips, “because I knew you couldn’t stay out of it if you knew…” He left your lips at the last word as you were both panting. You just stared at him, all your thoughts were trying to make sense of what was happening. _Have I been killed by that damn tree and gone to heaven?_

His cold fingers stroked away some hairs from your forehead before his lips landed softly where his fingers had just touched you gently.  
“I knew you couldn’t stay out of it, so I needed you to stay away from me. Then, you’d be safe,” he whispered as his voice vibrated over you. A darkness curled around the sound, claws stroked your soul as gently as any feather could have.

“What, do you mean?” you breathed out as it was hard to get air down in your lungs when you were so close to him. He looked down at you. The onyx eyes, the hooked nose, the thin lips and the defined jaw. The black curtains of hair that framed his thin face - it was all pure perfection for you.  
“I mean, you would be in the line of fire if you were with me. And that,” he said with a kiss between your eyebrows, “is unacceptable. As, I love you.” 

Your heart nearly stopped. Your knees nearly gave out beneath you. Your lungs barely remembered how to function. But your lips, they functioned properly as they were slammed on top of his as you pressed yourself into the caring young man who enveloped you in the warmest of embraces. Your fingers snaked between the strands of his hair as his hands held your hips gently yet firmly. _I must have died and gone to heaven,_ you thought as the taste and smell of him overtook you. As you both trembled from cold and heat, from fear and passion - from joy. 


	24. Hope [23]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 23. Hope
> 
> A/N: So I am running out of time so I am sorry but this will be a short one as I did a long one yesterday - I still hope you’ll enjoy it though! <3
> 
> Setting: Hogwarts, Snape’s Dorm
> 
> Pairing: Snape x Reader (Year 6 or 7)

Christmas had arrived and you had gone home to your family. You had left Severus at Hogwarts with a sweet kiss before you had boarded the train that would take you away from him. It was hard, but you also missed your family and knew that time would fly by and you would soon be back with him at your second home, Hogwarts. But, you had left with a secret. Something he would find out about as he woke up on Christmas…

Severus shivered, the dorm was cold and as empty as could be. He twisted and turned as he did not quite want to wake up. For what was the point? Another lonesome Christmas and who knew, perhaps you had figured out you were better off without him when you returned from your wonderful family. He had no such thing, and did not know how a happy family looked. He did not know if he, in the future, could create such a thing for himself.

He sighed deeply as he looked up towards the ceiling. He felt miserable now that he could not see you, be close to you, hold your hand or kiss your soft lips. when you had left you had seemed different. He couldn’t quite figure out why. But it felt, well it felt as if you knew something that would change things and he was not so sure he liked what that could mean. You had seemed sad and a bit strange. No, he did not enjoy it one bit. He was scared out of his mind that you’d return only to end it all. It was a constant fear, despite the fact you had been a pair for a couple of months now.

Eventually, he had to leave the comfort of his bed. He got up only to nearly stumble.  
“Who the devil has left-” he said as he was prepared to shout at whoever had but their stuff in front of his bed. but when he looked down his voice silenced instantly as a gift laid there on the floor. Right by his bed. He arched a brow and bent down to pick it up.

_To my Prince.  
With love, (y/n)._

It was the only thing that stood on the little note stuck to the thoroughly wrapped gift. His heart pounded as the feel of the wrapping against his hands felt slightly odd. He had never gotten a Christmas present, not a wrapped one at least that he could remember. He stared at your handwriting as it filled him with a sense of joy to see his name written by your hand.

Ha stepped over to his bed and sank down atop it. _A gift, for, me..?_ The thought floated through his head as his eyes watered a bit. He instantly felt guilty as he had not gotten you a Christmas gift. He did not think for one second that you would get him anything so he didn’t get you anything. What a fool he felt like at that moment. A selfish, stupid fool.

It took him a moment to figure out that he was allowed to open the gift. That it truly was for him. From you. His fingers shook ever so slightly as he gently unwrapped the gift, careful not to damage the paper where the little note sat with your writing on it. As the paper was placed on the bed beside him he was met with a box. he opened it quickly only to be met with a smaller box. He opened that and yet another box appeared.

He could nearly hear you giggling at him as he got more and more agitated by the multitude of boxes. Just as he was about to give up, just as he was about to believe it was a cruel prank and that you perhaps meant for him to feel duped he reached a box that appeared to be different from the others. It looked like a jewellery box and he arched a brow at it. 

His hands trembled ever so slightly as he flipped the lid up only to be met with two cufflinks made of silver. They had SS engraved on them in softly curling writing. His initials. He lifted the little box up to take a closer look. That’s when he noticed a little note stuck to the top of the lid. He took it and unfolded it gently. He was met by your handwriting yet again.

_Severus, my Prince, one day I will make you see we are forever. One day I will make you understand my love for you. In the meantime, you can try to destroy these. Do it, try to destroy them in any way you can think off. For, they shall never break, get scratched or turn dull. As long as I love you they shall remain pristine._

_Yours until the end of eternity and then some, (y/n)._

Severus arched a brow at the note as he could her your sassy voice challenging him to give it a go. So he placed the cufflinks on the bed before he grabbed his wand and tried to destroy them. the box turned to black dust as he tried to make them explode, but the cufflinks looked as they had just a moment earlier. He tried another spell, and then another and another. They just laid there - as shiny as the first time he laid his eyes upon them.

Something tugged and stretched in his heart. Something filled him up and it wasn’t fear or dread, it wasn’t a feeling of insecurity or self-loathing. It wasn’t even doubt. He knew all those feelings so well so they were easy to dismiss. No, this was a new feeling that consumed him as you had truly done something that gave him physical proof of your love for him. You had told him, time and time again, that you loved him. He had never uttered those words to you from the fear of losing you. He did not dare to truly let you in, truly allow himself to love you and be fully loved by you.

But as he stared at the shiny cufflinks with his initials and the note trembled in his shaky hand he could finally allow himself to open his heart for you. He finally dared to allow himself to love you. Memories flashed before his eyes of all the times you had told him, had hugged him, kissed him, loved him in so many ways.

Tears trickled down his cheeks as he reached for the cufflinks laying in the soot of the destroyed box. He cradled them in his hand as he let out a deep breath. His shoulders sank a tad, his rigid back loosened a bit and warmth spread throughout him as he, for the first time, had hope for a future with love and joy. He had hope for your relationship. Hope, it was the one thing he never dared to have. But you gave it to him. He had no choice but to accept the overwhelming feeling of warmth that filled him all the way through, because of you…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, it turned out not to be super short, hrmmm…


	25. Christmas Party [24]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 24. Christmas Party
> 
> A/N: It’s the last day of Snapemas - gosh what a ride it has been, and a challenge as well. I nearly gave up about halfway through but I somehow managed to keep going. Well, mostly thanks to all you lovelies who interact with me and show me your interest in what I write <3 So thank you for making this possible and I do hope you enjoy this last SNAPEMAS fic for 2020 <3
> 
> Overall I have written 47.933 words for Snapemas, averaging about 1997 words per prompt. I had hoped for an average of 800 words - but that didn’t happen obviously - as I need to practice writing shorter stuff xD Well, I hope you have enjoyed all the words, the stories and that you feel you have gotten something out of this SNAPEMAS event <3
> 
> Also… This prompt is very AU/OC! I just had fun as I wrote it xD
> 
> Setting: Staff celebration at Hogwarts, Teacher Lounge
> 
> Characters: Most of the staff at Hogwarts AND YOU!

Music played loudly as the staff of Hogwarts chatted, laughed, drank and ate with merry moods. Even Snape seemed to be in a cheerful state as he and Filch conversed over by the fireplace. McGonagall and Dumbledore were blabbering about what student had been the worse and what student had been the best - they disagreed on both by the way. Sprout, Flitwick and Slughorn seemed to discuss some new development in Quidditch as Slughorn bosted about his friendship with a specific seeker. Pince and Pomfrey seemed to merely endure the loud conversations that were unfolding around them. But they seemed happy nonetheless.

“Severus, do you not agree? Has not Evergreen been the best student this year?” McGonagall called out as she interrupted the man as he was speaking with Filch about what items had been taken from students during the term. He sighed and thought back on what that specific student was like.  
“I do agree,” he simply stated and Mcgonagall smiled with glee.  
“Ha! Told you, Albus,” she said and the Headmaster had to admit defeat. they continued to discuss various students, teacher ships and some of the harsh blows that had been landed as Ms Allington had chosen to date Mr Cormy rather than Ms Liverstone that the teachers shipped her with.

“I do believe it was a pity, Allington and Liverstone would have made a good match, Allingstone was a good ship.” McGonagall sighed and dumbledore nodded.  
“Well, we still got Hillington!” he exclaimed with joy. Snape scoffed and most turned towards him.  
“Mr Hillyard and Ms Maddington had a fight and broke up two days ago,” he simply stated. McGonagall gawked and Dumbledore sighed with dramatics not suited for a headmaster.  
“The whole school heard them, how do you not know this?” Sprout asked and both McGonagall and Dumbledore seemed a bit shocked.  
“Well, they had a good run, three months I believe?” Dumbledore said and Snape nodded before he decided to join the two of the worst shippers in the staff. Argus trailed along with Mrs. Norris in his arms.

The other professors scooted closer as bottles of various drinks appeared on the table - courtesy of the houselves. Drinks were poured as Christmas music blared from a small radio and decorations twinkled and shined where they hung on walls, over doors and paintings, over windows and around the door.

McGonagall corked a wine bottle after having poured herself a glass, “Now, what about Crocky?” she said and her gleaming eyes twinkled as Snape chuckled and Dumbledore smiled widely. Pomona and the other professors seemed just as excited to discuss that particular studentship.  
“I believe we have a chance there. Mr Cross and Mr Rorecky seem to have girlfriends at the moment,” some of the others gasped but Snape smiled wickedly at them.  
“No to worry, I caught the two snogging in a broom closet just three days ago, unbeknownst to their girlfriends I presume,” he said as a small grin spread across his lips. McGonagall clapped her hands like a giddy school girl.

“Oh I do hope they don’t hurt those poor girls,” Flitwick piped up but McGonagall hushed him.  
“They’re young, it’s love and lust Filius. Now, who else we got?” McGonagall said as she sipped her wine. Everyone seemed to ponder and think until Sprout suddenly gasped.  
“What is it Pomona?” Dumbledore asked as all leaned in closer as the rather round lady giggled.  
“I saw Harris and Palmer sneaking a kiss by the greenhouses a few weeks ago,” she giggled out and Mcgonagall looked shocked.  
“And you did not tell us?” she chided on a shriek. Sprout blushed lightly - from the drink or the reprimand one could simply not tell.

“So, we have, Paris, now as well?” Snape commented and everyone seemed to agree on that shipname.  
“But lad, Palmer is with that other girl, wha’s her name, Shawford?” filch said as he leaned a little closer to Snape. Snape pondered for a bit. He was sure he had seen Shawford with Harris as well.  
“Do not get your knickers in a twist but I think we have a triangle of love unknown to the tringle.” This seemed to grab everyone’s attention.  
“Pomona, you saw Harris and Palmer, Argus has seen Palmer with Shawford and I myself have seen Shawford and Harris on one or two occasions. Snogging, that is,” he stated and a hushed awe seemed to settle in.

“Oh, jolly good!” Dumbledore exclaimed before he raised his glass to the air with a smile as his eyes twinkled behind his half-moon spectacles.  
“To Christmas and the possibility of Sharmer!” Everyone raised their glasses and clinked them against each other before they drank. It was one of the few times the staff of Hogwarts let go of their troubles and worries to drink, laugh and ship the students of Hogwarts - a little tradition McGonagall herself had started nearly fifteen years ago.

A few hours passed and the number of members at the private party dwindled steadily. Eventually, only Snape, McGonagall and Dumbledore remained. The latter two were still eager in the discussion about students and who they could pair them up with. Snape, however, had leaned back in his chair and merely sipped on his firewhiskey. A thought occurred to him. He had in fact been a student when this little tradition was underway. Had he been shipped?

He pondered it for a moment but surely he had not been shipped at all. That was just not possible. But, what if he had? He sighed and straightened.  
“Minerva,” he said and the other two looked at him. their cheeks flushed, their eyes not so focused and they seemed completely relaxed and happy.  
“Did, di you ship me when I was a student?” he asked on a gruff drawl that perhaps showed a bit too much of his fear for that being the case.

McGonagall blinked a few times, “Of course we did. You were total ship material Severus!” she gushed and Severus gawked with an open mouth at her.  
“What? Who?” Dumbledore and McGonagall snickered. They seemed to enjoy his flustered state.  
“Oh, you know, just the usual shipping. Nothing to worry about.” McGonagall seemed intent on dragging it out but Snape would have none of it.

“Spill the beans you old cat,” he growled yet it was not in any way harsh or angry. The other two exchanged a glance and smiled.  
“Well, at first we shipped you with Lily Evans. but that didn’t work out so we had you paired with Lupin, believe it or not. but obviously, that didn’t work out either.”  
“Obviously,” Severus huffed, totally baffled at their choices.  
“But then we had you with Sirius Black, you guys had that tension going on and-”  
“let me stop you right there, I do not want to hear anything that comes out of your mouth regarding that scoundrel.” The others exchanged a glance and then snickered.

“Well, I think we got it right in the end. You were unaware of her/him at first. Being two years younger than you and we thought for sure we were losing that ship battle when you graduated and she/he were still at Hogwarts. But, apparently not.” Snape raised an eyebrow at the two of them as they giggled.  
“I mean, you married her/him. So I think we did quite well in the end.” The two old geezers snickered and smiled as Snape looked down on the wedding band that graced his cold, pale finger. He smiled and could not help but agree with them.

He had been unaware of you while at Hogwarts and then, by a mere coincidence, he had found you in that old bookstore. Browsing the second-hand books and perusing the shelves of new arrivals. He had been smitten with you instantly but never had he been able to even imagine that someone as marvellous as you would love him unconditionally. Would be by his side through thick and thin, sunshine and rain. No, he never thought he would ever be quite so lucky and he longed desperately after you. To celebrate Christmas with you yet again.

“Well, let’s hope your other ships turn out as lucky as I.”  
“Let’s,” McGonagall replied.  
“But, how did you know? I mean, why her/him and I? We never spoke, I didn’t even know her/him.” McGonagall chuckled.  
“I have my ways, this old cat is not quite out of trix you know.” And something in her voice told him that McGonagall had more to do with him meeting you than she led on. _Had she not suggested I’d look for that potions book at that store that day I would not have-, wait, wasn’t it also Minerva who got me to Diagon Alley in the first place that day? Why do I feel like I have been set up?_ _Oh, you sly kitten…_

Snape chuckled, Dumbledore laughed and McGonagall happily sipped her wine as she finally saw the face of someone who figured something out he did not even know he needed to figure out.  
“Cheers, Severus,” she said and he raised his glass to clink it against hers.  
“Cheers, you sly kitty.”  
“And merry Christmas to all!” Dumbledore chimed in on a slight slur as the three remaining staff members clinked their glasses one last time for that years Christmas party. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🎄MERRY CHRISTMAS LOVELIES🎄  
> Thank you for all your support!  
> Thank you for reading!  
> Thank you for everything!


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